I forgot something about the concept itself. The idea is solid. It's also a creepy situation. A shortfilm is definitely possible to make.  It could be nearly a no budget project.

It is also possible to turn the ending. Think about. Angela could prepare a heavy shocking moment which freaks Debbie and Sarah out. Aafter that Angela could declare: Girls, now I forgive you. We're friends.

Mosby

This wasn't bad at all. The dialogue was decent, and the suspense was effective. The characters had some conflict which gave them a bit of life. And unlike many of the OWC's, the world did not open up and spill out creatures from a video game.

It could stand for a little more imaginative ending, however. Nothing too over the top...but something.

Good OWC effort.

The tent

Logline - insidious plot, not sure what that means

A gale force winds howls..
Light illuminates

Not sure what to make of that. It kind of mocked itself, taking a cliche and still doing it.

The witch craft was somewhat absent.

And what were the scissors for?

It felt like there was the opportunity for more depth.

All the best

I'm not voting just offering my review.

Spoilers!

It has a witch. However, you only have it in the story the characters tell and hint at it at the end.

It has elements that can be considered horror. But it didn't affect me. To be truthfully I found this script to be funny like Scary Movie.

Problems:

Debbie sounds like a guy to me. Is she one of those macho lesbians?

Never understood how Debbie and Sarah can get duped.

Hope this helps,
Gabe

There's a lot of talking going on here. Quite a bit too much. The story's not bad, a bit too straighforward. Too many typos too. My apologies, I think I'm petagrammed, Hecated and Salemed out.
This wasn't bad. Just that the note was was way too long to be believed.
There were some good things in here. It needs a good trim and pepping up a bit.

Creepy, though little by way of real horror (that said, my own was horror-lite...) and the set-up felt thin which didn’t lend the ending much weight.

Be careful not to rely on the same word(s) (in this case ‘force’) as it tends to stand out to the reader.  Most writing software allows you to search for a given word and how many times its been used.

Think you missed an opportunity to use the witch burning story as the basis for this whole set-up.  As it was I was left somewhat confused as it’s Sarah’s family history that involves witches, yet Angela who lures them there to exact revenge via some (I’m left to assume) witchcraft.

A simple enough idea, nicely contained; though for me the story felt loose with too much talk and too little action.

Some half-decent banter, but that banter doesn't really move the story along at all.

Many spelling errors and grammar goofs that were distracting. Some description was a bit overwritten. I'm sorry, but this almost made me laugh out loud: "A realisation expressed on Sarah’s countenance."

Not horrible. Just didn't work for me.

Notes as I go:

The word 'force' used close together in the first sentence. Watch for this when proof reading your work.

Like the reference to the lame thing in especially old horror -- why do they always go see what's out there!!!!! LOL

Finally by page 6 we get to why they are out there. I think the thing is a bit talky ...I know they are telling stories by the fire but it felt like the beginning dragged a bit.

It seems to easy when they find the necklace and Sarah just happens to know what it is and what it is used for. That was hard to buy into for me.

The whole no reception on our cell phones is sort of irritating to me. I've read it so much over the two years.

I do like the way this ended so kudos on that Good job for an owc.

Writer,

The writing itself is pretty good, but overall this story was not for me. It sorta had like a non ending, leaving too much hanging. There was only a mention of a witch, but no real witchcraft or witch-liake powers on display here. This just took too long to develop before the reveal. It's just the girls talking, needing to pee,
Etc.

Congrats on entering the challenge!

Steve

This started out decently, but I kept waiting for it to get to something and it didn’t seem to. Debbie starts to tell a story, but doesn’t. Angela talks about going to pee for about a page, but she never actually does. I also think you missed a perfect opportunity to deliver a lot of your later exposition through one of the girl’s ghost stories.

Pg. 8 Debbie “heard” the voice over?

I think there ‘s too much mystery at the end of this. We have no real sense of what’s coming for them or what their fate is (or what the scissors are for). I thought it could still turn into a practical joke gone bad. It was a fast read though and I thought the dialogue was good. Just make sure it’s leading us somewhere too.

Congrats on completing the OWC!

Weighted Matrix: https://docs.google.com/spread.....TTUE&usp=sharing

Producer's Notes: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NNGaVlrrpkjIfp-BRGjpTE03W1e5lZuRceJ3wQECYaI/edit?usp=sharing

1. The Tent by A K C - Horror - An innocent camping trip turns into a nightmare when two friends discover an insidious plot.
Brief - Three young women in a tent, one goes missing, might be a bad guy.

Location(s)  - Open field
Cast - 3
Protagonist(s)  -  
SARAH, 20's, the brain
DEBBIE, 20's, the sass
Antagonist(s)  -
ANGELA, 20's, the (vengeful) peacemaker
Genre & Marketability - Horror Suspense, super light. Too deathly for minors, too juvenile for adults. I don't know who the market is for this.
Comments  -  FYI, shooting outdoors at night is a PITA. Turn off your screenwriting program's mores and continued's feature. Page 5 is done and there's still no witch. Page 6 there's TALK of witchcraft. Sigh. "A realisation expressed on Sarah's countenance." OMG. Pg 8 (O.S.) is supposed to be a (V.O.). Off screen is when the character in that scene is not on camera but can still be heard. How does Debbie hear Angela's voice over? "THE END" for really? Nice usage of common household objects: tent, sleeping bags, flashlight/torch, scissors, note. Good use of a single location and three cast members.
Script format - Needs some work.
Final word - Economic but missable. Not interested in producing.

$500 - 1,000      Lo/Hi Estimated Budget Range
/ 8.6          Screenplay Pages
= $58 - 116     Estimated Cost Per Screen Minute

Adherence to Given Criteria:
Modern Witches and/or Warlocks - Nope. Reference to witches does not count as using them.
Horror - Only if you're younger than 10yrs old.