Superheroes Star Date 3322 by Barry John Terblanche - Comedy, Action - Superman after "stuffing-up" is banished from earth in 2019. He returns aboard Star Trek in year 3322 to persuade other superheroes and X-men to save earth / fight approaching BORG.  154 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Barry: Some real basic issues out of the shoot.

The formatting is off. Look at any samples here on this site. Either download some free script-writing software of buy one and the formatting will be done a automatically for you.

Quoted Text V.O: A young child in the movie house; GO SUPERMAN.

Wrong format. Should be:

YOUNG CHILD (V.O)
Go Superman.

Quoted Text V.O: HANCOCK shouting over the Superman movie sound. STOP!

Wrong Format and Character error. You need to intro a character before putting his dialogue in and he should be intro'd in CAPS

e.g.,

MAN'S VOICE (V.O)
Stop! Cut! Hold it!

Later you have breaks in the dialogue without re-establishing who's speaking.

Eldave1 . Thanks for your advise - input. I'll take heed to rectify.
PS: Did you read it through ~ the whole script, If so what is your opinion of it ?
Regards; Barry John Terblanche
  

Eldave1 or any one else - Can you recommend a FREE script-writing software to download?
Regards; Barry John Terblanche

I use writer duet - it's online based so no need to download

Quoted from BarryJohn Eldave1 or any one else - Can you recommend a FREE script-writing software to download? Regards; Barry John Terblanche

Here's a l ink that list them all.

https://www.webfilmschool.com/free-screenwriting-programs-the-7-best-free-writers-software/

Quoted from BarryJohn Eldave1 or any one else - Can you recommend a FREE script-writing software to download? Regards; Barry John Terblanche

Hey Barry,

The wise Anthony Cawood has written up about screenwriting software here. The post has lots of other good screenwriting related information if you keep scrolling down.

For basic formatting stuff, I would recommend Trottier's The Screenwriter's Bible and also just reading lots of pro scripts like those found here.

Quoted from eldave1 Here's a l ink that list them all. https://www.webfilmschool.com/free-screenwriting-programs-the-7-best-free-writers-software/

Thanks, I think this is useful to a lot of us.

I just changed computers and finding great difficulty transferring Final Draft to my new PC.

Quoted from HyperMatt Thanks, I think this is useful to a lot of us. I just changed computers and finding great difficulty transferring Final Draft to my new PC.

No problem - hope you find one that suits you

Hi ALL. Re-  my posted screenplay Superheroes Star Date 3322. I understand that as a 1st time writer my script my not be written in accordance to correct format etc... I'm seeking opinions on the story / originality - good to make it on the silver screen ??   PS; Its a slow starter but its MID to END tells the story.
Regards; Barry John Terblanche    

Hi Barry

I haven't read much as formatting and other issues pointed out make for a difficult read.

However, at first, I thought you wrote this as a bit of fun/writing exercise - But from your comment it seems like you are serious about wanting this produced - so my point would be, you have a lot of copyrighted characters and material in there, have you thought about how that would work?

Matt

Quoted from BarryJohn Hi ALL. Re-  my posted screenplay Superheroes Star Date 3322. I understand that as a 1st time writer my script my not be written in accordance to correct format etc... I'm seeking opinions on the story / originality - good to make it on the silver screen ??   PS; Its a slow starter but its MID to END tells the story. Regards; Barry John Terblanche

Hi Barry, I haven’t read the script but based on the logline alone I would say this has slim to no chance of making it to screen. It would be a copyright nightmare. You have Marvel characters, DC characters, and Star Trek characters. I'm sorry to say it, but I think the best you can hope for this script is to get some practice.

Hi Matt and Warren. Thanks for your reply / input. True in that it has multiple characters ~ copyrights. Studios are known to work together collectively for the PROFIT. We have all seen the franchise movies from the different studios - be nice to see a movie of ALL the superheroes in one. Could be the beginning of something new / different ?  I for one  am tired of the same old Avengers - X-men - justice league - shield -  etc... I'd kill to watch this movie!! READ IT. please....

Regards
Barry John Terblanche  

Barry: Why are you trolling my website? Got these two gems from you today.

Quoted Text Rest in peace I read only one of your shorts. You CAN go go know.... no one is going to buy. R.I.P Sincerely, Barry

Quoted Text NO... No.. Against my better judgment I read another one! you really must go go now. Barry

All because I did you the courtesy of commenting on your script? WTF is going on dude?

That’s not very nice.

Dave, are you sure it's the same Barry? Playing devil's advocate just in case...

Barry, Dave is one of the most helpful writers on this site and he knows his stuff. He's also once of the nicest blokes you'll ever meet - at the very least virtually and  I'm sure IRL the experience is even better.  
You'd do well to heed his advice.

And finally, an FYI we give to all newbs:: Simply Scripts is a quid-pro-quo site. Simply put that means you get what you give. Read other scripts by other writers on this site, and you'll get read in return. Get to know the regulars and you'll learn a lot.

P.S.  Is this your debut feature? Your script is 154 pages?!

Quoted from HyperMatt That’s not very nice.

Was weird. Like somehow I set the guy off.

I had a read. As you’ve mentioned you want to know it’s chances of getting on the silver screen. There’s one massive blocker to this happening. As has been mentioned - you’ve used lots of owned IP/ characters. And who knows - if the material was amazing maybe different studios could collaborate. But not if you totally butt-fuck their characters. You have superman accidentally killing a cat, then some children, and constantly saying fuck and shit.

There’s 30 pages of super man fucking up. And not reacting like superman would. He’s like a Seth Rogan superman. Studios will never go for anything that might destroy their highly lucrative characters for good.

My advice - if you want to pursue this concept - make up new superheroes and create something of your own.

Quoted from LC Dave, are you sure it's the same Barry? Playing devil's advocate just in case...

Yep, I am.