* The director of "Final Destination 2."

* Samuel L. Jackson.

* Lots of snakes... on a plane.

That about sums it up.  Is it a mind-blowing, existential experience?  Of course not.  Does it deliver after months of hype and a summer full of less than stellar theatrical releases?  Better believe it.  It ain't perfect, but damn if it's not entertaining as hell.

And that's all there is to it.

*** out of ****

I am assuming somebody will see this today.  Would the next reviewer please do me a small favor?

I want to go this weekend, and the kid -- as much a marketing victim as anyone else -- really wants to go, too.

Language and gore are fine, but Mom gets all bent out of shape if the film has nudity or drugs -- and then I get in trouble  

So what's the scoop on boobs and drugs?  Anything to worry about here?  Thanks in advance.

Bert,

I'll be seeing this later. I'll get back to you on it. You can always check the IMDB.com thread for snakes. People usually ask what's in it, in the message board.

Unfortunately, Bert, the boobs and drugs are actually present together in the same scene when a randy stoner couple decides to join the mile-high club.

Bert:  


SPOILERS


one set of boobs which is involved with sex
one scene of smoking mary j
and you can briefly see a man's penis

I saw this last night and boy does seeing it in a packed theater really make a difference.

Everybody was cheering when the title came up, and when Samuel would say a catch phrase. It was a blast to watch with all the commotion.

As a movie it's pretty much what the title suggests: snakes on a plane. If they're hadn't been so much counter-hype about the film what is percieved as campy in the movie would have probably been seen as dumb. Had it not been for it's title and the power of the internet.

Haha, this film has a 8.4 rating on IMDB.  

That is freakin awesome.

I hope this movie makes a crapload of money.  It shows that you can still have fun in Hollywood.

I only want to see this at a midnight showing with a bunch of potheads cheering everytime Samuel L. Jackson says "There are snakes on the mothaf***in plane!"  That would just make my day.  

Just got back...

Well, this was, to say the least... phenomenal! Probably the most chaotic movie I've seen in a long time. These critters unleashed more hell than I could've imagined and the bites! Oh, the bites! The nastiest was when they suck open the little kid's arm to suck out the venom. That was certainly cringe-worthy. My favorite part was the introduction of the python. I was led to believe it was only small snakes so that part was definitely awesome.

The theater wasn't packed (I'd say only a fourth was filled) but people were still going nuts. They cheered at Jackson's name, at the title, at Jackson's introduction, hell, they actually shouted the "mothaf**kin' snakes" line with him. People were having a ball and I was too. I can't believe a movie so Hollywood could be so good.

So yeah, that's my two cents. Go see it. Now!

I just got back from it. Wow. Very good. Very good. I jumped a couple of times due to surprises. It was great. You could predict a couple things though.


SPOLIERS:

Man going to bathroom - snakes bites dick -Predicted.

One of the kids would get biten

Dude at end almost biten.

Someone would take over as captain


Well thats not many predictable things but all and all the movie was awesome. Samuel Jackson swearing, hot chicks and chaotic fighting.

Thanks Syco and Andrew for the tip.  The scene in question was indeed a bit much, and I would have had to listen (yet again) to the "poor judgment" lecture -- and nobody needs that...

But this film absolutely delivers on every promise it makes.  The set-up drags on a bit long, but once we are in the air, the payoff is good enough to forgive all that.

I jumped a couple of times -- very seldom does that happen.  And I can't think of a single body part that doesn't end up with a snake latched onto it at some point.  For me, the biggest cringe was the eye-bite.  Lord, that was just gruesome.

The main guy (not Jackson, the other guy) was a pretty poor actor.  He isn't very likable and that drags the film down a bit.  The main bad guy is also kind of weak, and he has very little screen time.  And putting the kids (even a baby) in danger like that is kind of a cheap device that might turn some people off.

But all in all a great summer flick.  One of the best, for sure.  And this will definitely play better in the theater with a fired up audience -- you should see it there -- as the film will probably be diminished watching it in your quiet livingroom in a few months.

And did anybody notice -- they never catch the main bad guy??

So we'll be seeing another one of these.  I would bank on it.  If anybody caught Jackson on The Daily Show, he was already talking sequel....

Quoted from bert So we'll be seeing another one of these.  I would bank on it.  If anybody caught Jackson on The Daily Show, he was already talking sequel....

Snakes on a Train!  I'll called it first!

Oh whoa...SNAKES ON A TRAIN

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0843873/

or for more info:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....34?ie=UTF8&s=dvd

I hate Asylum Entertainment so freakin much.  I swear to god that as soon as they hear a title for a big horror movie they have a way to put their garbage spin on the story and sell it straight to DVD almost immediately.  

Check out The Slaughterhouse Massacre that they put out last year.  Talk about funny as hell and I think they have a movie called Chaos that is coming on DVD in Sep that was an obvious rip off of Last House on the Left....yeah...like we need a remake of that.

EDIT:  Here is the synopsis of the plot for Asylum's Snakes on a Train:

Under a powerful Mayan curse, snakes are hatched inside a young woman, slowly devouring her from within. Her only chance for survival is a powerful shaman who lives across the border. With only hours to live, she jumps on a train headed for Los Angeles. Unfortunately for the passengers aboard, they are now trapped, soon to be victims of these flesh-eating vipers.

LMAO!  And with Asylum, I can only guess where the Snakes exit the woman's body.  Yeah, it's like that...


I hope the Snakes on Plane sequel uses this title though.  I think it would be kinda cool.  The area would be a little bigger and maybe the train is going so fast that it is on a crash collision course with something else.  And Samuel L. Jackson saying, "Now there are snakes on the mothaf***in train!" would just be icing on the cake.  

Guy, I completely agree with you.  I think my "favorite" Asylum title was "Post Impact," released around the same time as "The Day After Tommorrow."  Because, you know, the world really needed two versions of the same crappy movie.

Meh.

First half was phenomenal B-movie trash.  Got kinda boring in the second half with a poor climax.  Kinda ruined the film for me.  

Really appreciated the gruesomeness, though.  I was a big fan of the line, "F*cking snake, get off my dick!"

I went to see this midnight opening night and they wouldn't let me in.  I was ticked off, we went with a big group of seniors and freinds going off to college so it was a big group splitting dissapointment.  I'll probably have to wait for this R hype that seems to be plaguing chicago recentlty to die down, or else rent it when that happens.

Why didn't they just call this Anaconda 3?

The poster could've read; Anaconda 3 "We can't believe it either"

Speaking of trashy films, I saw a new Chuck Norris DVD at blockbuster the other day, and get this, both copies were out. WTF?

Quoted from Takeshi Why didn't they just call this Anaconda 3? The poster could've read; Anaconda 3 "We can't believe it either" Speaking of trashy films, I saw a new Chuck Norris DVD at blockbuster the other day, and get this, both copies were out. WTF?

Haha good one.

Though a fake e working title for the film actually WAS "Anaconda 3", I don't know if that was implied in your post...?

Quoted from Death Monkey Though a fake e working title for the film actually WAS "Anaconda 3", I don't know if that was implied in your post...?

No, I didn't, but there you go. Lol.

They had a parody of this on rove  Live last night. It was called Spiders on a Glider, Lol

I just watched this movie, thanks to Blockbuster's see-how-many-freakin-movies-you-can-squeeze-in program.  And the only thing I could say is, "......wow....."  This stinkburger was a disaster long before the snakes showed up.

The characters in this movie are the same characters you see in movies like Airport and The Poseiden Adventure.  The only thing missing was Shelly Winters dying.

If you haven't heard, the story involves a flight carrying a federal witness that is endangered when poisonous snakes are released through out, killing everyone they can.  Samuel L. Jackson plays the federal agent who save the day.  I'd go into it more, but my  head hurts just thinking about it.

When this movie first came up in conversation, I mentioned that shutting the heating system off on the plane would put the snakes the sleep and end the danger.  It shows that Hollywood isn't thinking.

I'd recommend renting this movie.  Watch it with a big group of friends and heckle the living hell out of it.  Without going MST3K on this film, it would really really suck


Phil

I just saw it.

I was kinda disappointed in that it wasn't b-movie-ish enough! Sometimes it actually felt, not so much like a conscious b-movie but as an a-movie involuntarily being bad.

Instead of playing with the genre, they pretty much just re-iterated Turbulence and Anaconda. there could've been more tongue-in-cheek; more gore, and less kids. No kids, in fact. God, how they annoy me!

Now "Feast", there's a b-movie!