Can someone please enlighten me on what writing cinematically means?

I keep being told I don't write cinematically. I thought I knew what that means and try to write more visually, but still keep getting that same comment.

Any thoughts on this?  

Beats me, Pia.

Do you still write "we see"s, camera directions and other such things in your scripts? If so, that might be it. Or maybe they think your writing is a bit much like a novel (too much telling not enough showing). Or maybe you're being overly-descriptive.

Which scripts of your have gotten those comments? I remember reading a Little Red Riding Hood script by you and I had no problems with it at all. Your writing seemed fine to me.

--Julio

Hard one to break down in a general manner. People charge thousands to tell people how to do this.

The biggest reason people say this is that dialogue has become too heavy, mainly because of the influence of TV. Top filmmakers prefer that character is revealed through action rather than speech as this also allows the sound designers more room to create mood and emotion. Find ways of saying the same thing with an action or a look or using some kind of symbol.

E.G Fatal Attraction. Glenn Close is teetering on the edge of sanity. We're shown this by her simply sitting on the floor and turning the lamp on and off. Without a word, we know what's happening in her mind. She doesn't have to say a thing.

Also it refers to the sheer size and scope of the writing. Cinema is big screen stuff, not small screen stuff, so bigger themes, bigger actions. The script should open at a blistering pace and end even bigger.

This is something that pre-professionals shy away ffrom because they fear they'll put off the small producers, but it's what the big companies want.

Sound is a big thing as well. Look at a site called filmsound. there's a great manifesto on there written by one of the worlds leading sound designers about how to write for cinema sound and how to allow your character to listen to the world around him.

A good exercise is to write a few short scripts that have no dialogue whatsoever. Picj a difficult topic or scenario and then write it using just just action and visuals to tell the whole story.

There's a great film called the Shopkeeper (something like that) it's a South African film by the Direcotr of Tsotsi. It's worth watching as an example. It's a 20 minute film with no dialogue that deals with a strong theme.

That book is very good indeed.

One of the best Directing books around and definitely useful for any filmmaker.

Julio,

thanks!  

No, I do not use "we see" and stuff like that. Maybe I should though...
Btw, I'm embarrassed you still remember that one. Not one of my best.  

Great links Michael! I will study them more closely when I'm not euphoric (is that a word?) about Gators kicking seminal butts!

Rick,
thanks for your input too and I agree and know what you are saying. Problem is, that's what I thought I was doing.
Btw, my very first script here at SS was a no dialogue script, so I know what you mean about that too.

It just seems to me that I have got the writing part to be so much better these days than they were in the beginning 3 years ago (story wise, I don't know), but I still keep getting these comments. I have also got to the point where my writing is as terse as can be and I get comments that I should be more economical. Quite frankly, I'm so confused right now that I think the stories themself suffer because I try to conform to all this.
Of all the negative comments though, the only comment I've never received is "boring". I'll guess I'll cling to that one.    

It might help if you point out specific examples of the writing that people have referred to. Or ask them what they mean.

I wouldn't worry about it too much personally though. The story and characters are more important like you say.

I've never noticed any problems with your writing. I think, like you say, that it's important not get too anal over writing. If you get the story and the characters right, it's not as though the Director can't come up with visual ideas and what not to make the final product Cinematic.

Rick,

I don't have any specific examples. I just seem to get this comment in regard to my writing in general.

Thanks for your comments though, because I really do feel confused at the moment... Low on selfconfidence to to be honest.  

Quoted from Grandma Bear Low on self confidence to to be honest.

Don't be.  Writing cinematically is nothing more than someone judging whether or not your script reads like a movie, and in your case, I don't think I've seen anything that doesn't.

It's all nitpicky B-S, really, as is anything else related to style.

Hang on a minute, aren't you the writer who did that Bee Girl script? That was a very cinematic script.

I have no idea how to describe cinematic, but my take on it  "Cinematic" means basically ideas that demand visuals that create broad strokes across a wide screen canvas.

For example you know your short about a  mummified baby and the closing shot and the twist is lady fill in fresh grave and pull back camera and reveal dozens of graves. No dialouge, no words, just a image that ends your story and twist audience expectation into a knot.

Now if that's not cinematic I don't know what is.

So what's my point? I dunno but agree with Shelton that it is all nit picky bullshit. Plus maybe it has a lot to do with reader, if a reader does not have a widescreen technicolor imagination then they got no hope in hell of visulizing your script as cinematic.    

Quoted from tonkatough So what's my point? I dunno but agree with Shelton that it is all nit picky bullshit. Plus maybe it has a lot to do with reader, if a reader does not have a widescreen technicolor imagination then they got no hope in hell of visulizing your script as cinematic.

He's right -- you know.

Thanks Mike!
Picked up my spirit. Don't feel as down today about it. Disappointment and insecurity has shifted to anger. That's a good sign... to me at least.

Tonka,

thanks for the comments about Daddy's Home!
I guess the end part of that is "visual". I need to work more stuff like that in I guess.

I need to correct you on one part though... Breanne wrote Bee Girl. She and I aren't exactly playing in the same league. I wish I could write like her, but...  I'm more of a backyard player while she at least plays on a well lit field with some bleachers.

Now the next thing I got to better figure out is theme. That seems to be a tricky one as well At least for me.
I should've continued my Suzy Homemaker impersonation. That was a lot easier than trying to write...