Let's battle it out Wonks!

The problem with thinking out loud like that is this: who does that? It just seems like a way of voicing the character's thoughts because there was no other way to get them out for us to see. The times when people think out loud is rare: maybe taking a shower, taking a walk. Not when your adrenaline is cranking and your murdering your new family for their money. When you see that, it takes you out of the movie. Might as well just do subtitles.

You could be right on the reanimation. I would have to go back and read. If you are right, then the father acts with no emotion or independent thought when he kills the wife. And the dog should probably not be wagging his tail, but acting in a stiff, forced manner. But if this is the intent, it works because Bert wanted to create an overwhelming sense of her isolation at the end.

Just another thought: if she is reanimating these creatures, will he buried mom be next?

Hey Leit -

Well, I wouldn't call it a battle...'cause it wouldn't kill me to read it the other way.  

BUT - I would argue that when the mind is churning (and the adrenaline cranking) it's *more* likely (for me at least) to think out loud.  At work, I'm much more likely to bitch audibly when the situation's got me really pissed.  And when I'm working on a particularly complex chain of reasoning, I'm more likely to think it out loud then, too.  (A colleague had me figuring out LSAT questions the other day.  The minute it got difficult, I started talking it out loud to try the logic on for size.)

I do think I'm right re: the reanimation.  (Bert, this is your baby, weigh in!)  Re: the return of Mom.  Theoretically, you'd be right.  Of course, that depends on where she's buried, and how far Kate's psychic reach actually is.  (And I do agree - Dad and Jacks shouldn't be showing any emotion.  They're animated dead weight.)

Haha...you two are very silly.

But seeing as you have initiated a Battle Royale, I am pleased to split the title.

Round 1 -- Thinking aloud -- goes to Leitskev:  I originally put this in to deflect comments like, "Well, how is she gonna get away with all this stuff?"  I wanted to show that she was still plotting and scheming -- how Jacks actually provided a perfect cover story -- and how she maybe could get away with it.

It seemed important at the time, but two years removed from the story, I am no longer sure it is necessary -- and I think if it were flat-out removed it would not even be missed -- except by that small population that tends to overthink things.  As I do.

Round 2 -- Reanimation -- goes to Wonka:  Like the lady says, Trevor and Jacks are just meat.  Kate is a telekinetic, and heightened emotions accelerate her power.  The bear is just a doll walking, with no thought or reason.  So are Jacks and Trevor.  I do give Trevor a little extra at the end just for the sake of the story -- to defend Kate -- and that may be complicating things.  But it did not seem too much of a reach to imagine there might be some remnants of Trevor that remain just by instinct.

But that final shot -- Kate might as well be surrounded by stuffed animals.  That is the happy/horrible moment where she has everybody and no one all at once.

It certainly helps to clarify one's thoughts putting them into writing like this, so thanks for that.

I did toy with the idea of Mom, by the way, but could never get it to work.

I am convinced.

Wonks, until we meet again on the field of battle!

  (And thanks to Bert, for putting up with us!)

Hi Bert,

I read it. Liked the girl's powers a lot and liked the way they played out at the end.

I couldn't believe Charlie would do that. --the guy was listening to la cucaracha - you introduced him as amiable and Kate loved him. How Kate couldn't sense the bad in him?

Also it's obvious from the very beginning that Elvie is using him. But not to Charlie apparently, he was too taken with her perhaps...
Elvie was too soap operish. She wanted money, got close with the driver... - it's a bit no mystery character or scenario.

But like I said, Kate and her powers were great and that's what the story is about.

I didn't understand why Dick had to call and hang up. That didn't pay off I think unless I missed something.

Dick had to call to establish that he flew, so they wouldn't be looking around home, I think.

Edit: I am replying here so not to dominate portal; Khamana, I think the call is to make sure. Who knows who will see him. Bert likes to make sure all the loose ends are tied up. My only issue with that part when I read it is that the imposter had no incentive to make the call if he got paid already. Maybe they were paying later, I forget. I'm sure there's a reason.

Oh, okay. Got it. Why to call though - someone had to see him there and that would be it.

Thanks, Kevin. Read the revised explanation - got it. --I was just curious to know.

Thanks, Khamanna.  I get what you are saying about Charlie, and sometimes it is difficult to balance a character like that -- are you adding additional layers to his character or is he acting inconsistently?

Evie, on the other hand, was meant to be totally over-the-top wicked.  I suspect if you read more comic books you would recognize her character for the cartoon that she is.

Funny conversation between you and leiskev.  I was in "perfect crime" mode when writing this, and the phone call was just one more thing to establish his presence overseas through phone records.  Maybe not necessary, maybe overkill, but just part of the plan.

Whether it would all work, I have no idea, but to add a bit to that conversation, here is my "Work in Progress" thread where I asked SS members for help concocting a bloodless murder that would leave no traces (for Trevor):

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-workinprogress/m-1192382407/

It was a bit alarming how readily the ideas came forth from this crew   , but you will also find the decision made that ultimately worked its way into the script.

Hi Bert -

Not to go *slightly* off topic, but who does your posters?  Pretty good stuff (especially for "Them That's Dead".)

Quoted from wonkavite Not to go *slightly* off topic, but who does your posters?  Pretty good stuff (especially for "Them That's Dead".)

You really think they're that good?  I thought some of them were a little crude, and they are basically just a Google Image search with a little Photoshop.  I think I am getting a little better with practice, though.  I have a new one for "The Farm" going up soon where I tried a few new techniques.

But heck, you should see what Cornetto can do.  He's, like, a geek king with those, and didn't you do a couple for Phil?

Anyways, here is another link where people can put up the posters they have made for their scripts. Some of the links are dead, may be time to clean those out, but some of the work there is pretty impressive:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/

Well, I admit that the poster for Think of Me, and Salvage are pretty basic.  But they've got good composition.  A little tweaking with the lighting, and they'd *really* work.  But Them That's Dead is downright *good*.  

And yes, I am the artist behind Phil's stuff.  (J-Pug, too, for what it's worth.)  That's what happens when you've got a background in FX....  

Bert, I went to that thread, but locked now I think. Have to reply here. But as someone suggested, carbon monoxide is the way to go. Can run a hose from tailpipe to window, use some ducttape to seal a little on the pipe. Won't take long.

Beyond that would need to know circumstances. Let's say this is a guy killing his girl friend. He could tie her up in the car. Make a sex game even. Then use the hose. Or even just leave her in the garage with it closed. Her death will be painless.

You could even trick a lot of people. Tell them to wait in the garage, start the car. I think it would take 20 minutes for weakness to set in, would have to research. Once they are weak, they would be easy to handle, but would have to be careful.