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I got my hands on a new draft of this script, hot off the press so to speak.
So all the complaints above with dialouge I did not notice.
Sure it was on the nose and spelt out what happened, but hey what can you do? Most of your story take place in a cell in a medievial dungeon.
The twist at end was alright with the eye for an eye attitude, but I thought this story was a bit tedious in getting to that twist. Relied to much on flash backs.
The medievil setting was very cool and visualy interesting with filthy peasents huddled in a filthy stone cell.
I thought I had the 'on the nose dialogue' problem fixed...guess I'll have to take an extra look at it! The flashbacks were used to get out of the cell for a little bit, bringing in some 'fresh air' into the dark setting. I'd like to keep them in the script, but I'll see if I can tweak them a bit so they don't spoil too much of the story.
Cheers!
I will return reads as fast as possible!
My scripts:
Shattered - Short: Two men who meet each other in a prison cell find that they have more in common than they'd like...
Tough as Pins (work in progress) Bulletbound (work in progress)