SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 28th, 2024, 3:52pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Stuck
Users Browsing Forum
Nick Le and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Stuck  (currently 484 views)
Don
Posted: July 8th, 2023, 6:49am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16448
Posts Per Day
1.94
Stuck by Glynn Turner - Short, Comedy - An accident causes a man to improve his outlook on life after a brief encounter with an apparent former criminal. 9 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: July 10th, 2023, 12:51am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1566
Posts Per Day
0.29
Ahoy - Glynn - don't want to leave you hangin' so I'll be the first.

For a light-hearted comedy, I think all humor is hard to write. Props to someone who can actually make me laugh off the page... I thought this was pretty good. Good set up, dialogue. The characters are well-drawn and come to life. No nitpicking. All the best. -A


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 8
GlynnTurner
Posted: July 11th, 2023, 12:46pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
14
Posts Per Day
0.00
Mr Ghost ( sorry it says you are ghost and ghostie gal). LOL. not sure what else to call you.

Thank you for your very nice comments.  Im ready for all. comments, good or bad, but you said some nice ones.  Thanks a lot for reading it.

Best
Glynn
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 8
kcranford
Posted: July 11th, 2023, 2:25pm Report to Moderator
New


Features:  Christmas Joe

Posts
372
Posts Per Day
0.62
Glynn, this was a pleasure to read. I agree with Ghost/Ghostie above.  Your characters are well conceived and Stan is downright hilarious. It’s even more touching when you find out what his true purpose is. Love the Brit humor also!  Very well done and thanks for sharing.

Wishing you the best with this!

Kathy


Scripts Available:
Christmas Joe (Holiday Drama)
Every Time It Snows (Holiday Drama)
Happy Holi-DNA (Holiday Romance)
Let That Pony Run (Family Drama)
With Love, From Romance (Holiday Romance)
Essex (Historical Drama)

Shorts:
Santuario (OWC Writers' Choice)
Death  (OWC)
Savior  (OWC)
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 8
ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: July 11th, 2023, 5:29pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1566
Posts Per Day
0.29

Quoted from GlynnTurner
Mr Ghost ( sorry it says you are ghost and ghostie gal). LOL. not sure what else to call you.

Thank you for your very nice comments.  Im ready for all. comments, good or bad, but you said some nice ones.  Thanks a lot for reading it.

Best
Glynn


_ghostie gal  AKA Andrea.

And you're welcome. -A


Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 8
LC
Posted: July 11th, 2023, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
7634
Posts Per Day
1.34
Hi Glynn,

Had to take a look based on the glowing reviews of Andrea & Kathy.

And they were right! A very enjoyable read.
Stan is quite the character.

In the interest of popping verbs, and correct grammar -
I'd change call the media to alert the media.
And lay to lie.
Laying next to me should be lying next to me.
Lays on the grass, lies on the grass.

And consider changing your software settings so your (CONT'D)s only occur when going over the page. Just makes it more streamlined.

These are nitpicks. Not being a smartarse, jmho.

...You’re stuck. Welcome to life.
Everyone’s stuck. It’s called
‘living’.

Very nice.

The story is gold, dialogue very easy on the ear, and the reveals/twists are a nice touch.

Looking forward to more from you.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 8
GlynnTurner
Posted: July 12th, 2023, 9:26am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
14
Posts Per Day
0.00
Hello LC, thanks so much for your notes and taking the time to write them, I will take them on board.  You know, I've always had a problem with the word 'Laying' and 'Lying' and 'Lays'.  I need to do better, so thanks for pointing these out.  

Cheers
Glynn
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 8
LC
Posted: July 12th, 2023, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
7634
Posts Per Day
1.34
Hey Glynn, I roll this one out on a regular basis cause you're not alone re lie v lay. People are probably sick of me saying it.

https://www.quickanddirtytips......%20made%20a%20chart!

Doesn't help that sooo many song lyrics get it wrong from Clapton to Snow Patrol. And the Lord's Prayer now I think of it.  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 7 - 8
GlynnTurner
Posted: July 14th, 2023, 4:02am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
14
Posts Per Day
0.00
Thanks LC, I have already looked at the link, super helpful.

Best
Glynn
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 8
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006