Pink Freud: Candycane Capers by R5e - Short, Dramedy - After a long stint in the joint, a Psychoanalyst seeks refuge in his own drug induced nightmares... as a mentally unstable vigilante. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

As a Pink Floyd fan, I had to read this. The story was quite creative. The campy humor wasn’t wasted on me. If Syd Barrett wrote an action comic book character, it would probably read like this.

The Wall references were appropriate. I enjoyed singing along with the sing-song lines.

While I normally don’t like narration, it didn’t dominate the story or replace what should have been built on through action and dialog in my opinion. The title graphics are perfect and complement the story title perfectly. Nice job.

Ahoy - R5e --um, your handle looks familiar - can't place the name yet. Anywaz, I had entirely too much free time on my hands tonight and ended up reading this.  I found it so unusual --  I read it again from the top. I wondered if it was a comedy because I had an urge to giggle in some places. It wasn't particularly laugh-out-loud funny to me, but -- I couldn't help but smile throughout.

So... hell yeah --  I really did enjoy it -- more than I thought I would. Some very fine writing on display here.  Best of Irish luck! -A

Hey, D.A., Andrea,

Thank you kindly for the positive feedback!

I must admit, embarrassingly… the concept of ‘Pink Freud’ was not entirely cooked up by me, I read it on a coffee mug some years back…

https://elephantbookstore.com/.....k-frojd-950x950.webp

Mind you, I did spend many an hour trying to come up with some mash-up dialog, that being: phrases that incorporated both Freudian psychoanalysis and Pink Floyd lyrics, some made the cut, most didn’t, lol.

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak As a Pink Floyd fan, I had to read this. The story was quite creative. The campy humor wasn’t wasted on me. If Syd Barrett wrote an action comic book character, it would probably read like this.

Yes, I’m a huge Pink Floyd fan as well. Growing up ‘Generation X’ I think most of us were, still are for that matter. I remember seeing ‘The Wall’ in theaters when it came out in ’82 and I think it messed with our heads to the extent that I we longer wanted to go to school, and for the most part… I didn’t, guess that’s why I failed so many times, lol. Mind you, I was only 13 at the time so most of the message went way over our heads.

Speaking of Syd Barrett, Pink’s shot gun (in this script) is inspired by the song: the Gnome…

Wiki: "The Gnome" is a song by the English rock band Pink Floyd. Written by Syd Barrett, it is the eighth song on their 1967 debut album, The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. The song takes place in a fictional gnome world from the perspective of a gnome.

The song tells the tale of a scarlet tunic wearing gnome named Grimble Gromble. The lyrics ostensibly "came off the top [of Barrett's] head". "The Gnome" was included on the B-side of the US Pink Floyd single "Flaming" (Tower 37, which was never released in the UK.


Of course, due to potential copyright scenarios, I thought I might as well tweak the name a bit to ‘Grimble Frumble’, in the off- off- way off chance someone liked this script enough to produce it they would already be cleared. I don’t think most of what’s in the script is bordering on that serious in terms of copyright infringement, but I did have a YouTube channel a while ago that had some copyright strikes on it for simple snippets of movies with soundtracks in them, and I thought “holy shit, do I need this headache?”, the answer was ‘no’, so I deleted the channel. But then there’s the lyrics from ‘Mother’, and the mug…  

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal Ahoy - R5e --um, your handle looks familiar - can't place the name yet. Anywaz, I had entirely too much free time on my hands tonight and ended up reading this.  I found it so unusual --  I read it again from the top. I wondered if it was a comedy because I had an urge to giggle in some places. It wasn't particularly laugh-out-loud funny to me, but -- I couldn't help but smile throughout.

R5e is a pen name that I’ve used for many years now on my scripts, phonetically ‘5e’ is pronounced the same as my last name so I went with it once for shits and giggles, but it kind of stuck over the years, lol.

You may recognize my avatar from previous OWC’s etc. That’s the handle I’ve been using for several years now.

And yes, correct… it is supposed to be a comedy, or comedy-ish of sorts, not to be taken seriously of course. That being said, I listed it as Dramedy because there’s some violent elements to it as well. I also wanted it to be very Batman like, I’m talking the Batman series I watched many a Saturday morning growing up:

Wiki: Batman stars Adam West as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Burt Ward as Dick Grayson/Robin—two crime-fighting heroes who defend Gotham City from a variety of archvillains. It is known for its camp style, upbeat theme music, and its intentionally humorous, simplistic morality (aimed at its largely teenage audience). This included championing the importance of wearing seat belts, doing homework, eating vegetables, and drinking milk.

Here’s one of those very scripts, complete with the ZING’s, POW’s, and BOINGs that were so iconic of the original series that I wanted to incorporate within this script -- if your down for a fun 60s style script read:

https://www.scriptslug.com/script/batman-105-the-joker-is-wild-1966

Curiously, Adam West, before he passed, took up the zany off-the-wall character ‘Mayor West’ in the animated series ‘Family Guy’, which gave us a pretty good insight as to his ability to portray campy style humour with a straight face.

Soooo, someone’s head erupting into a ball of blood and grey matter probably wouldn’t fit the overall theme I was going for, hence the Skittle Painbow blow-out from Pink’s shotgun, or should I say Grimble Frumble’s Phallus, lol.

Anyway, that’s a long explanation for an 8-page script, but ideas and influence are everywhere, I just have a habit of connecting the dots every now and again into something-somewhat coherent, as surreal as that may be.

Again, thank you both for you feedback. Please let me know if I can return the read on any of your projects/scripts you might have in the works, till then, cheers!

I remember the R5e from Technicolor. I didn't connect it to this screen name until now. I also read High Octane Psycho Slutz. I like your Batman style of humor. Even though Technicolor wasn't exactly a comedy, Momo was pretty funny.

What (if may I ask) software do you use for your cover pages? The Psycho Slutz cover was pretty good but the text in Un-Fun House is even more involved. What grabs my attention is the text. The lighting and shadows would take me about a full day with the meager tools that I have.

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak I remember the R5e from Technicolor. .. Momo was pretty funny.

Oh, man. I remember the script Technicolor, but when you mentioned ‘Momo’ I was like… huh, Momo?
I actually had to go back and re-read that script, totally forgot one of the characters was named Momo, lol.

Anyway, yeah, for any and all artwork I usually use a low-calorie version of Photoshop called ‘Elements’. I have the 2020 version, and it’s pretty much like Photoshop but scaled down to the basic editing tools, and it’s a lot cheaper than buying a subscription to Adobe Photoshop online these days. I also own Adobe Acrobat which allows you to do way more functions in PDFs than just the basic Adobe Reader.

There might be some free or open-source apps online that do similar or basic pixel modifications such as shadows, text effects, etc. to do some creative title pages for PDFs, but I’m not entirely sure what’s out there as of late. Perhaps someone on the board knows a little more about what’s out there and could point you in the right direction? Hope this helps, and thanks again for all your input…  

Thanks for the info. I have Photoshop 6, which still allowed me to buy it outright and not subscribe. A subscription is a rip-off for people not in a position to write it off as a business expense. I'm going look into Elements. While I'm sure it's stripped down from the full program, it seems to have more features from what I have.

I agree, version 6 might be somewhat antiquated by today’s standards and buying a subscription for the latest PS with all the bells and whistles just for hobby/fun is definitely not worth what they charge nowadays.

I stated that Elements is a stripped-down version, but honestly, it’s quite robust and can pretty much do everything you need to do with PS, with certain exceptions of layer functionality, and they even include aspects of their latest A.I. engine to do some pretty awesome things with just the click of a button. It has an almost identical layout of PS so if you know your way around the original app you shouldn’t have that big of a learning curve to get into the groove.

Heck, I should mention that even Microsoft Power Point and Publisher have some fairly good text and image editing tools available if you have an MS Office 365 subscription. You even have access to high-definition files and cool 3D models that can be imported into Power Point and animated or posed and rendered out to high-quality image files with stunning backgrounds and 3D text, just an afterthought if you have access to any of those apps. Anyway, hope this helps in your endeavor, best of luck!