5 seconds...?
3 people are going to die?
Our Mother of Marry?

Okay, you may have been told already... If not, write out numbers in full. Outa should be outta'.

And, where's the kid-speak? Darren would say: 'don't be a wuss/wimp' not 'don't be so sensitive'. You're certainly fond of exclamation marks too. None of it a punishable offence but a clean up is needed.

You did well with this. It had great energy and personality and nice authentic touches with the music and characterisations.

The denouement is a little bit - is it enough?, But overall nice job.

The Prom-ise of Love

It's touching for sure to witness the solidarity of this certain community. Imo you'd need a last aspect, say some wiser message or last impression than the reporter closing the script as is. However, moving stuff around a difficult situation that involves many characters same time and differently; hard to go there and you succeed with a calm and quiet storyline. It feels real and honest, respectfully and responsibly delivered.


Prom Night

Hmmm, I know it was said it's okay to go over page length. Then why didn't make it ten pages, twelve, twenty from the start… Too often and by far too many, a more is better attitude is promoted. And I disagree. The quality of the shorter scripts from last round is far superior. Everyone can see that. Why not learn from it…

Whatever, I give you three pages to deliver and hook me:
"There’s a video game poster on the wall telling us
that Sega does what Ninten-don’t." look at me writing
"Tufts of grass erupt from the fall." You're directing the page like that when someone simply lets a bike drop on a lawn?
"For her, it’s always 5 o'clock somewhere…" look at me writing

Hmm, sorry, out. I'm strict here to build a slight opposition against the discussed "agenda of the more" I see everywhere. If you would have been given 12 pages you probably would have used 14, stuffed with the writing I quoted above….

I choose Prom-ise, it's the more direct screen experience. In a taken back manner, invisible author style, the character and plot speak for itself and it doesn't need any indirect prose to impress.

Writers,

Gotta give it to the love-stricken nerd.

PROM NIGHT

I thought THE GRADUATE was a lazy title...

(0:

There seems to be a cute story there somewhere, however at this point in my reviews I'm having trouble counting all the ways it doesn't meet the parameters.

PROM-ISE OF LOVE

Definitely sappy, which I think is going to cost you votes here. I had to skim it so I wouldn't cry (yeah, so what?).  I think what does it for me in this script is that you chose to focus on the good that teenagers can do.  In the midst of Parkland, maybe that's a good message.

Yeah, I'm not making sense any longer with these reviews. Though I think it's going to get out-voted, I'm going with PROMISE.

Wow, this one is close.  Second closest to Khamanna and Stumz

Dan

SPOILERS

The Prom-ise of Love

Nice title.  This one meets the parameters.

When you have paragraphs like this at the start:

The Ballroom’s packed with FRIENDS, CLASSMATES, TEACHERS,
MOM (BRENDA), volunteers, news people, and medical
personnel, ALL decked out in some form of gold.

All people who are going to get hired for a set, either speaking or non-speaking roles needs to be in capitals.

Aside from that, it was a quick and easy read, nice story.

Prom Night

Not a fan of the fancy title font.

After reading the first paragraph, I get the feeling this person is as old as myself.  I gather that was an actual poster you're referencing.  If my memory serves me right.  The whole theme of the script felt like it was set in the 90's.

I'd be careful with these lines:

Summons everything he learned
with the complimentary Karate classes he took at his local
YMCA

Because the audience don't know the past, have no idea that those karate moves were from a YMCA class.  It's not possible to film.

Aside from this, the story was okay for what it was, it got better as you read it.  But as it didn't meet the parameters, I can't go with this one.