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Overseas Justice by Nadine - Short, Action, Thriller - A British man travels to America to exact revenge on the man who killed his brother. 28 pages - pdf format
New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice
An interesting story. I like the moral of the story backed by the verse from the King James Bible. I liked the twist at the end.
However, your format is still way off. This will chase away readers, especially since you have been writing a lot of material that has had the same format problem.
That said, your format is improving in that you now have a title page. Also, I now know what you are writing with. You need to switch to a real screen writing software package. Since you are using Google Docs I would suggest a web based package like Trelby or Writer Duet. They are recommended by other writers here on this site on a short thread about this subject:
I used to use MS Word. I didn’t think I needed special software. I finished my first script with a little effort. Editing became a growing nightmare. If I added a line of text, I had to chase down several pages to correct widow/orphan errors, extra line spaces and missing line spaces.
Then I tried a script writing package. What a difference. My margins were correctly set based on whether I was writing a heading, action, a character, dialog, a parenthetical, etc. Editing was a breeze in that the wrap-around and the widow-orphan issues were taken care of for me.
In retrospect, I would say that writing a script with script writing software is like using a hammer to drive in a nail. Using MS Word was like using my forehead. Ouch is an understatement.
If you fix your format issue, I'm sure you will get more reads. It will also be easier to review and give you other advice.