Something F#@king Strange by The Guide - Short, Comedy - After suffering a blow to the head, a Detectorist finds himself an unlikely ally leading him to believe not everything is as it seems. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Interesting little yarn. He must believe his wife and son thinks he's a creep and an asshole to have that dream. Just a dream from...a car crash? No real complaints except that I would've liked to have gone down the hatch.

Nice work and good luck!

Classically told tale.  All the right points with the classic ending.  Totally clear and you don't get turned around.  It's a lot of story telling packed into 10 pages.  A lot of vivid detail.  I liked it a lot.

Okay,writer, I read (your) scripted antagonistic “voice”  à la Ralph Fiennes, and the character, Quincy, à la johnny Depp… and a filmed cinematic scene beat à la Wes Anderson… this (script) is actually funny in that mind-set.

I’m not sure what your inspiration was here, but I’m gonna’ go out on a limb and say it rhymes with” A Series  of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket to be exact, You’ve cooked up quite a tale here. Keep on writing, I like it. I’m curious to see who wrote this.

This is the first one I've read so far and I'm impressed . The story sucked me in from the start and kept me interested to the end.

I liked the banter between Quincy and the voice and I never seen the ending coming and I'm still thinking about it now and it will probably keep pinging back into my head all day.

Well done someone

A weird setup but I was intrigued by the mystery. In the end, it was all in his imagination as he was dying which is the third script I've read so far in this challenge which uses this trope. At least in this one, he didn't die.

The dreamworld was intriguing and amusing. I would suggest you have a think about where you could go with this idea which isn't just a coma and explore the possibilities as you have talent for sure.

This was better than the title suggests. I enjoyed the interaction with the sand castle kid and the sunbathing woman. Ending was cool too, nice resolution. I sure hope ol' Quincy isn't relegated to that trailer park now that we know he has a family, hehe.

The problem with "just a dream" scripts/stories, I'm remembering as I read several today, is that in the end I'm left feeling empty. Nothing I read was "real." So, I'm actually left feeling a bit cheated.

Setting that aside, is there a story within his experience, or is it just random events? Is he working through feelings that he has for his family, or feelings that they have for him? 'Cause it feels like you've got more in here that I'm just missing.

The little car with the little Quincy was fun, though. I mean, I really dig that setup. Man finds smashed diecast car with a tiny him driving. Absolutely awesome! I'd encourage you to explore different story ideas just off that setup.

Thanks for letting me read!

This was well written.  I agree with some of the comments.  The son and the mother not thinking too highly of the father, who is presumably dead.  When the father finds a small diecast car and his little body driver's seat, made me laugh.  That would be mind blowing in itself.  

Well written.  It kept me guessing.  The ending was a surprise.

Hmmm, an other one where it is in essence just a dream, did I miss wthis here he got bumped on the head?

There's quite a few typo's so worth another read through.

Some funny lines too, but if the voice is trying to get him back into his body then it was an odd tone.

Decent effort though.

Hmmm. I apologize but I just didn't get this one. Too random for me.

The title is very appropriate. There were some amusing moments with the boy and the woman at the beach, but I struggled to make sense of it. Definitely gets points for creativity.

ahaha. this is so funny.

a few typos but who cares.

It's clever too! Poor Quincy, he's stuck with that boy and that woman for life now. Very clever and funny, congrats. Should I say in advance, hmm...

The toy car is great - Quincy in miniature.
As a btw that character name seemed more befitting an older guy. That might just be me.

A few too many disconnected ideas in this tale though. I could understand the kid being cranky cause he trashed the sandcastle, but I did not understand the turnaround with the woman (his wife) calling him a pervert, considering she came on to him. That was a bit incongruous for me.

I think you need to streamline your ideas.
The abyss was great - maybe there should be a light down there e.g. Quincy being encouraged to walk towards the light - life or death.
.
While this didn't quite hit the spot exactly, It was entertaining for sure not knowing what was going to happen next.

Aa I loved it! It’s perfect