#Charity by URI - A wannabe social-media star comes to learn the meaning of her favourite hashtag.  Short, Comedy

Hello URI
That's a very nice development taken the requirements especially and especially at the beginning and middle.

Emily reminds me of Emily that's in Paris. You created a good character.

I enjoyed the robbery. And Mudlang.

I wonder why Mudlang couldn't save the planet, she's so good.

The thing is - after the powers there's no tension, sort of no conflict. She just works on saving the planet. Maybe work on adding the tension/conflict to make it more interesting?

I enjoyed the ending. Nice difference to Emily at the beginning.

Overall, really good job

Hello.

I didn't understand why Emily had to share her telekinetic power to stop the asteroid. If it was a superpower, she should have been able to do it alone. But getting other people involved was a good idea. Making her a more self-aware and compassionate human being at the end was a positive twist.

Nicely done, writer. I like the change in Emily but not convinced she truly earned the superpower...but...the Koreans called it like they witnessed the 'heroic' act. Emily uses her powers out of desperation more than anything. At least it changed her in the end. I also didn't quite understand the need to share the power.

Well done, writer. Good luck!

Another goodie with moments which fell a little flat, and some comedy genius thrown in the mix.
Echoes of EEAAO via it's crazy detours.
Should have let Emily save the world on her own.

Some nice commentary too.
I enjoyed it.

P.S. I meant to add that you need to devise a better title, something that suits the whackiness e.g. Emily's Big Day Out at the End of the World.

Another asteroid attack. Seems to be the IN thing



- Uri Geller posting his own message sharing Emily's        Well don't leave me in suspense


So she was given a superpower and then collectively had everyone else save the Earth???

The story should have been based on her as per parameters.

Well done on entering

Writer, you did a nice job of setting Emily up as #conceited and #self-serving.  These qualities usually serve as a downfall for most, however in a cool twist, you had Emily get her comeuppance as well as change her heart and make her the hero of the story.  As others have mentioned, I was a little confused by the fact that she had to call on the power of others to boost hers, but all in all it worked for the story.

Good job, good luck and thanks for sharing!

A fun story, with a few questions as others have had. DID Emily really earn anything? No, but that's a fun twist, with a few tweaks she could be some sort of a reluctant hero who begrudgingly takes on the responsibility given her.

I did enjoy how easily the writer showed Emily's shallowness by stepping on the homeless mans hand, then giving him shit about it and walking away, then returning to him, only to snap a selfie with him to feign her #charity.

Consider changing her name to Sally and you might have a sequel to Shallow Hal.  

Hi Writer

I think we all know an Emily lol

Is a good deed a good deed if it is unintentional? (For the sake of the challenge it is, I am not that pedantic - Just pondering a life question)

Quoted Text EMILY I'm going to post and share this message on every platform available; well apart from Truth Social.

#Bonuspoints

OK that was dang good. A flawed character bestowed with undeserving powers but ultimately uses them selflessly and becomes a better person for it. Only real plot hole for me was that Mudang could probably save the world herself, or at least bestow powers on others  to save it, but for a comedy it is easily forgiven.

Great that you bring it back to both the homeless man and the charity shop.

Personally I would have added two things (not saying they would make it better). I would show Emily trying to lift bigger things, until she finds her limit, making her realize she can't do the asteroid by herself.
And I would show more of the world helping her at the pinnacle moment (probably through social media livestreams)
But the page limit would probably make those difficult.

Anyway, great job writer!

I like Emily's character evolution and her decision at the end to be truly helpful. The sharing of powers was also a nice touch. I struggled with the opening of the script. The hashtag dialogue was confusing and I wasn't really sure what Emily was doing. This could be a place of concentration in any revisions.

Writer,

I really liked Emily’s arc a lot. Went from an unwitting savior, to an actual savior, to someone who actually practices all that charity she keeps talking about. Love it. Not much more to say. It seems this was written on the fly, but for what it’s worth you did a really good job, imo. Good work.

Steve

Writer, you have created a very shallow and egotistical protagonist in Emily's preoccupation with social media. And that makes the story very linear and easy to follow. I knew that in the end Emily would have to get her comeuppance, I just didn't know how. Great piece of storytelling brought the ending I needed.

Excellent piece of writing that was compelling and relevant to the criteria. I just wonder if the accidental power she was granted was sufficient to meet the criteria. Either way, it certainly worked that she had to share it with others to fulfil saving the earth from destruction.
An interesting character in your story was the Mudang. Now this is the character I would have expected to have all the power with her chanting. Some clarification and expansion of her character would explain why she was chosen to deliver Emily's gift & power rather than using her own power -- unless in Korean lore she doesn't have any power. A nice take on Korean culture would explain her role in that culture.
But a nice bit of writing. Thanks for the entry.

Writer,

This was one of those feel good stories. No fan of social media but I actually liked this one. More than I should have. Some fine craftsmanship with Emily's character. Nothing else to really add. All the best.

Ghost

Hi,

I liked the parts of Emily got the superpower from Mudang,  tried to share it with the public and asked Mudang to work together.

If possible,  try to cut down on some scenes on the first three pages to make room for adding obstacles for Emily to face.

By the way,  I suggest you rewrite the logline.

Hope this helps

Michael

Thanks for all the reads and comments, super helpful as always and will be going into the re-write.

I wrote this in one sitting on with the countdown heading into the last few hours, should have given myself a bit more time but it had been one of those weeks.

The point about why she shared her power rather than doing it herself is very well made, there was supposed to be a scene where she tries to lift a car but can't... which is when she decides she has to share her power. Would have made a lot more sense had I not forgotten to add the scene.

Was Emily truly deserving of the gift and why did Mudang not save the planet, sometimes things happen to people so they can learn and grow... at least that was the vibe I was going with.