Well written, good twist, just couldn't fully visualise it.
Well done.

Damn, this was good right up until the end. There just isn't anything menacing about a ghost opening its mouth to swallow you whole when it's on a screen, unless you show it coming through like The Ring. Then it's scary as hell.

This would be awesome to film, but I'd change the ending to Mr. Lamb being right behind him or something, and he doesn't know because he's nose to monitor, or giving up and turning and dead Lamb is right there lunging for him. That would be a jump scare all right.

Still, really well done.

Writing’s good. Decent concept - Zoom meet with someone who turns out to be have been dead.  Darkly amusing as Franklin turns out the lights to check the screens.  Not sure I quite got the last line about trying to swallow Franklin - I’m just seeing a guy mouth the laptop camera.  Seems a little vague on the dead angle - dead people/souls lingering in the ethernet or ghouls with a taste for flesh?  A little bit of work this could be a fun idea.

Nice idea here, but think the execution needs a little work.

Good effort.

It was good up until the ending.

Not too sure how he could eat him through the screen??

But besides that I liked it. It's a change of pace from the last few I read.
Now my laptop is starting to slow down hmmmm

A fun little read. Different and unexpected.  I liked it.  Good job.

Solid story and twist. I love the idea of spirits causing glitches in the system so much it could be a whole story built around that. Maybe a futuristic thing. Anyways, that was a fun short.

Good one.

I very much enjoyed this.

Love the idea of lost souls slowing down the internet. Finally, someone to blame besides my cable company.

I liked this a lot.

I haven't read the comments yet, but I imagine that some folks see the ending as a little cheesy. I thought it worked, and I think this can be filmed spectacularly well. With the right pacing and visuals, it could be pretty effective.

Great stuff, one of my favorites~

Writer,

Good tension and build up, good reveal. Ready to swallow him up at the end? wasn't sure about that one, but this kept me intrigued. Good job here.

Steve