Really good writing. But I'll echo the others and say the dialog needs another pass. Way too on the nose.

Story is confusing. I'm completely lost. Feel like I'm missing some key context here. Lol

Good effort, but this one's a miss for me.

The writing is decent, I just don't know what the stakes are or why any of this is happening. It feels like a small part of a larger story, and what's here just doesn't work.

Writer,

Didn't quite get what was happening and why. Lots of unnecessary characters, a little submarine that I'm not sure what it's purpose was. You had an extra page to flesh this out, you should have taken it.

Steve

As others have pointed out, this really makes no sense. Seems rushed.

Decent effort but dialogue has too much exposition that need to be teased out more subtly.

Description writing is good though so I suspect this was a bit of a rush job with the dialogue.

The dialogue felt a little OTN in places with a few cliche expressions.

But I was intrigued by the setup but then, unfortunately, I was just left a little confused by it.

Now that the writer reveal has taken place, I can now explain everything. Don't know if you're allowed to review your own script for misdirection purposes, but I did anyway.

Yes, this is a pretty terrible script. I had decided on the Sci-Fi/Thriller option but no ideas were really coming to me, so I had to play it by ear with this one. I was also running short on time so I had to rush it as well.

I admit that even I don't know what the "samples" are. I'm imagining something biological.

As for the submarine, I describe it in the action blocks as "primitive" and "cylindrical." I was trying to suggest a simple metal tube which would fit the low budget requirement.

Now to Adam. As stated in the terrible dialog, Adam wanted to bring down Pete's company. The other guys pretended to go missing so Pete would be forced to look for them. The reason he shoots George is because since no one else would appear to be at the lake, Pete would be suspected of George's death, since he was the only witness. This is why Adam says "The authorities will take care of the rest."

Thanks everyone for reading and let's hope the next May challenge is more up my alley.