You really went for it at the end, so full credit for that.

It was fun (maybe that's the wrong word) to see a confident hero meet his match. Certainly it was unexpected. Good stuff.

I suggest getting rid of the opening. We've seen the superhero being summoned to the scene of danger a million times. I would start with the superhero arriving confidently at the subway station. That way you could identify him by his hero name instead of Alan, which is hardly heroic. You would get right to the good stuff that way.

Fun and unexpected.

Well that was definitely a thing!

Made me smile, kinda like an episode of The Boys on acid.

Nice effort

I think this needed more blood.

Well, I love Marvel/DC stuff so I liked what you were doing. I just think it needed more of an explanation, or set up. Alan always knew he was alone? And now he's a zombie?

And OMG...where the hell is Janine!!??

Hope you expand on this. You have a great imagination.

Best of luck.

Wow, that went completely all-in and it actually kinda works. Great job.

I don't know if it needs any explanation. I do wonder about the set-up with the superhero going about his average day. I guess he's kind of overconfident, but otherwise there's nothing that makes what happens to him seem particularly meaningful or ironic or... anything. Maybe that's the point though?

Thanks for the reviews, all!

I agree with a lot of criticism for being sloppy. I'll look at the script and think, "It's not that sloppy" and then Eldave will do an amazing breakdown of how it should be written and I'll think, "How the hell did I turn in that junk?". Thanks a ton, Eldave. Hopefully I start actually using your advice soon.

Was surprised so many people thought this would be a big budget film. It's just a gore film. All you'd need is any pitch black room with a small light source (to help hide some SFX shots in the shadow), a raised floor just for the section in the light that looks like a subway station's and for the actor to hide his body under, a gore filled body in a superhero suit that can be torn apart (possibly with some prosthetics for the stretching skin if you're overly ambitious) two severed heads (easy enough to make, and for movement just use the old severed head trick that's been around since the fifties) and two static CGI shots (one of the gore in Infrared (which makes it easier and cheaper) and one of the station floor cracking under the small light source. I absolutely wrote this with a cheap budget in mind, I've seen short films that have a lot more gore FX that are done for pennies. I even did one. I'd be much more intimidated faking a car sinking into a river or even renting a couple manned boats and shooting on them. This was a one room (any room would do) shoot once you get in the pitch black station.

Maybe I read too much Fangoria, but I totally thought this was essentially a low budget gore flick.

Thanks again so much for the insight!

I think as soon as you wrote he used his infrared powers to see, it suggests he can see everything. It isn't just a room, it has to be a subway station, with a subway car. Hard to do that on the cheap.

You're right, you can definitely do a lot with gore and practical effects for little money. It's the scale of it that makes it challenging.

Then it's once again, sloppy writing on my part.

The infrared is one POV shot until he sees the light coming from the subway car. Then it cuts to non-POV again. I didn't think anyone would shoot the rest of the film in infrared, so I skipped over making it clearer. Will not make that mistake on the rewrite, and when I'm not confined to 4 pages. Thanks for clearing that up, I can totally see if someone thinks the rest of the film is in infrared, you would need to have a real subway station gored up to the hilt. That would be a pretty penny.

Thanks again. With the addition of possibly one or two beats, the budget is cut into a tenth or more.