Jessie murders Beth’s pimp, Ryan, and they dispose of the body then take off together.  A simple story, maybe too simple which leaves a lot of it at surface level - but a sound entry nonetheless.

Could have done with a little more character depth perhaps.  Is Jessie doing it because he loves her; feels sorry for her or for the kinky stuff in and of itself?

Structure worked okay - essentially jumping between before the murder and after with an opening scene that serves as the end(?)  Writing is pithy but works - a no nonsense approach that suits the moody tone.

Not bad, just all felt a little familiar - like the set-up to a larger idea than a self-contained short.  Not sure the title does it justice - I was expecting to see the same story told from different character perspectives.

Writer,

I liked your choice of words, it's well written, very descriptive, but I think it might be missing something. It meets the parameters, but I was a tad confused with the warehouse scene and what he was actually doing, torching bodies? Why the subtlety with what he's burning? I thought maybe we were going to get different character takes on the story by the title, good effort though!

I liked the opening scene. Very effective and painful imagery. The overall vibe of the script is cool as well. A good combo of crime and kinkiness. I feel like there's another scene or two that should be added here. The characters are a twisted, but the story is pretty straightforward right now.