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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    1Q '24 OWC  ›  Simple Little Home - OWC
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  Author    Simple Little Home - OWC  (currently 293 views)
big lew
Posted: March 1st, 2024, 1:10am Report to Moderator
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A sad, angry, and disappointed old man is Richard. (Where is Burgess Meredith when we need him?)

A well told story. Richard on the way out, with kids who want him to build a new home so after he's gone they can move in!

Nice writing, one of my favorites!
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Rob
Posted: March 1st, 2024, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
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I really like the idea of a man walking through his house for the last time. I've sometimes imagined what it would be like to re-visit my childhood homes. If there is ever an open house sign in front of one of them, I might check it out.

Although I love the sentiment of this story, the execution is a bit off for me. The picture placed in front of Richard's face at the beginning threw me off. Why is a woman showing him a picture? Is he actually going to buy a new house in his condition? I don't understand the line about letting the fire department burn the place down. If Richard is going to burn the place, why would he go to the trouble of getting the fire department involved? It is still a little rough around the edges.
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