Quoted from nawazm11 You're right, I really do struggle with cutting my scripts and it's a problem. Apologies if I came across as defensive in this post, I was simply trying to relay across my thoughts. I don't mean anything by it, and it's always nice to take it into account.

Hey Mo,

Nah, you didn't seem defensive. And honestly, I was worried that extensively breaking it down like I did might seem like an attack. In truth, breaking down dialogue is complicated and I felt if I didn't do it, my issue would sound too general to really tell you anything. I actually sat on the review for a day because I was worried it sounded overbearing.

It sounds like you're bringing some good focus to it, and I'm sure a lot of that other stuff will clear up on its own as a result.

Good luck man,
Eric

I was excited to read this; I'm a big sci-fi fan. But...

125 pages? That's 2 hours and 5 minutes of screen time. Edit: What I mean is, that's a lot of pages to read for a challenge. I love long movies and short, alike.

No "Fade in," but you do fade out at the end. Therefore, nothing in the script is visible on screen. We're looking at a pure black screen for 2 hours and 5 minutes. That might be okay for a 1930s radio drama, but this is a movie.

Bold slugs.

Never write transitions such as "Cut to" unless they are absolutely necessary and the film can't be made without them. Even so, we can't see the cut because you forgot to fade in.

I skimmed through, and it reads more like a novel. You have pages with barely anything on them. I know white space is a good thing, but not this much white space.

Therefore, I'm debating whether I should read this or not. You broke FIVE BIG rules.

So, for the moment: Incomplete out of 10.

Quoted from ChrisBodily 125 pages? That's 2 hours and 5 minutes of screen time.

Some scripts require this kind of page count.  It's not typical and not desired, but...some do require this and get away with it.

Just not sure if this is one of them, but don't judge a good writer's efforts on the page count...Mo knows what he's doing and this is also a rushed first draft.

Hey, all. A lot of stuff going on, very busy these past few weeks and for the ones ahead. Don't think I'll get to a rewrite any time soon unfortunately. Thanks for the feedback, I'm pretty set on what I want to do, and I think it might work.

Pia: That's fine, I might not be able to return a read to you for a while though as everything's pretty full on here this year for the next 2-3 months. Feel free to pm me though.

Bill: Had a look at that script, funnily enough, I thought the style wasn't even that bad -- and, what's more funny was that I saw half the comments thought it was spectacular, and the other half didn't know what to think.

Chris: Jeff jumped on it pretty early and I agree with him. Unfortunately, and please don't take this the wrong way, I disagree with every single thing you said. There are no rules, a script is simply what the writer makes it out to be, nothing more, nothing less. It seems like you've already made up your mind, which is fine and well -- but I don't think you'd enjoy the script if you were to continue, so there's no need. Although, in saying all of that, I suggest going into every script with an open mind rather than having it follow some prerequisite notions. Thanks for the comments.