SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 7th, 2020, 11:49am
Please login or register.
Was PortalRecent PostsHome Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for 2019 - 2020 award consideration
The Writer's Tournament is on!

Round 1 is up!

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May 2010 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - The Lambshank Redemption
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    OWC - The Lambshank Redemption  (currently 2763 views)
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 5:16pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
The Lambshank Redemption by Anonymous - Short, Drama - With a vegeterian diet unwillingly thrust upon him, a convicted felon is inspired to bust out of prison and seek freedom. - pdf, format

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
Guest User

Excellent spoof.  Excellent. just found your niche.  
e-mail Reply: 1 - 16
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 6:27pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Wherever I go, there Jwent.

Posts Per Day
As far as pisstakes go, this one made me have to take a piss several times. If they were all this well conceived, They wouldn't be so hard to read. And this was one of my all time favorite movies. Funny shit. Some great on liners... good work here.


Private Message Reply: 2 - 16
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 6:45pm Report to Moderator

Florida, USA
Posts Per Day
Moving insight into the depth of the human condition, as Pamela Anderson's lower regions are sadly ignored by so many men, with the exceptions of Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and other brave visionarys who look past the mountains to appreciate the valleys, so to speak.

I liked the sense of comic timing set up on the pages...the set up of Cecil on page 5 to the payoff on page 6.

I did get hollered at once for using John Wayne as a character a while back (the prison one), but I guess if you're using Morgan Freeman as Morgan Freeman, that'll work.

So What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Failure to 'preciate the rules. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had 'ere in this OWC, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it.

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 3 - 16
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Down Under
Posts Per Day

If i can hazard a guess, I think an Aussie did this. Unless some of our US and UK friends know about the NZ/sheep joke, then...

Only thing I woulda done diff was have Tim Robbins name instead of Randy.

Private Message Reply: 4 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 12:22am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Posts Per Day
I agree that this was probably written by an Aussie, based on the sheep joke. Unless it's by someone throwing it in intentionally to give that impression.

Another parody, seems like more of a pisstake than a serious entry. There wasn't much in the way of a debate about vegan/carnivore liefestyle here. Maybe a bit ambitious trying to condense a two hour plus movie into a dozen pages, but I guess it works ok if you don't take it too seriously. A decent effort.

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 16
c m hall
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 7:46am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

peninsula of Jersey
Posts Per Day
Well crafted but lazy; the cliches in the Shawshank R. are just replaced with other cliches.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 16
Grandma Bear
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 7:53am Report to Moderator
God of the SimplyScriptsVerse

The Swamp...
Posts Per Day
I liked this and I didn't.

I thought it was funny and well written. What I didn't like was that I've seen that movie many many times. It's one of my all time favorites. What I mean by that is that there was no surprise as to where the story was heading and how it would end.

I thought it was clever to have a vegan prison. You should have stuck to that idea and made up your own story. Maybe the prisoners would riot or escape.

I didn't feel this was a drama. It was a comedy.

Private Message Reply: 7 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 8:42am Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
I liked it! A comedy/parody well done. All this from a play on words of Shawshank to Lambshank? Didn't like the ending with the uniform but other than that well written.

Just two questions: 1) is bone really enough to dig thru a concrete wall? 2) If Randy ate the lamb raw, it would be very messy, how do you hide that in a prison?  I know it's a parody...
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 9:22am Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Posts Per Day
If he could fit through that little hole, made with a bone (!), in a prison (!), a vegan prison (!) - reads funny and stuff like that is never subjective in a comedy. And I really liked the premise!
It was a breeze to read. The only thing - why don't you cast them all for the ultimate reading experience?

I think it is very clever and flows well.

The scene with lamb staring at him in a cell - I wonder if you could cut that one.

Thanks for the fun script!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 12:17pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Oh Hi

San Diego, California
Posts Per Day
Humorous parody.  

In terms of meeting the challenge this fell quite short.  

Site Private Message Reply: 10 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 2:20pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients

Yes, that is my real hair...

Cave Creek, AZ
Posts Per Day
Well, it only makes sense that my last OWC read is yet another pisstake...but  very funny one, IMO.

Like the concept here, like the actual writing, like the dialogue, love the stuff about Pamela and her 2 foot wide hole.

I think it may have dragged a bit in the middle, but it doesn't matter, this is a success, IMO.  Does it meet the challenge?  No way.  Does it try to?  Nope.  Who cares though.

Nice pisser!!!

To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
Private Message Reply: 11 - 16
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Posts Per Day
Ill make notes as I go..

Pg 1 Really funny start. Im visualizing intermixed new and ripped off footage.

Pg 4 Im still laughing along. It might be that for a comedy that last scene is a little long.

Pg 7 I like the lamb thing.

Pg 11 My memory of Shawshank is patchy, but with a couple of minor changes these last bits seem unchanged. Im not sure that you could use long stretches without your parody gags inserted and still justify the fair use satire.

Pg 12 Top of the page pay off is great.

Pg 13 The last gag falls a little flat for me, but it works.

Overall this is a really funny parody that I can see working well. I wonder if some of the scenes run a little long for comedic purposes. I guess I should also comment that the vegan/carnivore part feels a bit forced and obviously this is comedy, but if you do it well you get away with it!

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 12 - 16
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 7:04am Report to Moderator

London, England
Posts Per Day
As an OWC entry, this is obviously not good. You didn't take it seriously, there's very little actual exchange of dietary philosophy (save a passing conversation between the Warden and Randy), and this is an out-and-out comedy, not a drama.


As a standalone script, this is fantastic. It's not perfect, and I do think the part in Mexico needs either scrapping or rewriting (the "I Googled it" line was the only one that I actively didn't like), but by and large it's very, very funny.

I expect someone will ask you if they can film this in next to no time - maybe they already have. If it's cast well, and shot to a decent standard, then I can easily see this getting hundreds of thousands of hits on Youtube...easily. I love the original film, and I love this parody. I bet lots of other people would, too.

I take my hat off to you, sir (or ma'am).

Guess who's back? Back again?
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 13 - 16
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 8:32am Report to Moderator
Old Timer

--> Over There
Posts Per Day
I loved this, had me laughing throughout. I only watched Shawshank again last week so a lot of lines you lifted are fresh in my head. Great choices in what you included from the original film, really captured the spirit of that while adding your   comedic spin on things. It is a very parody(able) film which you exploited cleverly.

I loved how Randy addressed him as Morgan Freeman a couple of times and the fact that Randy himself was a complete a?shole unlike the hero Tim Robbins had embodied.

Hilarious ending too.

All said and done, I really enjoyed this. Great work.

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 16
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    May 2010 One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Thread Rating

There have been 5 votes for this thread.
Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006