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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    October, 2011 One Week Challange  ›  The October 2011 OWC Theme and Genre are...
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  Author    The October 2011 OWC Theme and Genre are...  (currently 12776 views)
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: October 11th, 2011, 11:05pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from RayW


"The gothic builds up the protagonist until he achieves what he's after, and then details the terrible consequences of achieving it".
Get what you want and regret it.
Law of unintended consequences.
What the protag wants is actually bad. (Child abductor captures a kid! Horayyy! Oh... wait... ) ...



Thank you, Rav.  

I've really been working hard and I didn't know "by teaching" that this was an element, but somehow, it worked its way into my script.

Most definitely I have a protagonist whose lust is unrequited by a companion who only uses him to have "a position in society". "The Using" is returned however. Since the Usee uses the User for "his reward"-- the said position in society. It's a Merry-go-round effect.

Although I have a story, I'm trying to boil it down more. Create more snaps on the page. it works now, but what will become of it tomorrow?

I know from experience how I can get myself into a tangle.

Thank you again R. You contribute so much. You deserve one honkin reward. But alas, The Creator always turns and says, "What reward?... That's what you were supposed to be doing". ...

Still, we need someone to lift up their heads. Notice that spark and live.

If we can manage that, then maybe we can live and then rest simultaneously.

Don't know how to do that yet. Still working it out.

G-d bless you R.

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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TheUsualSuspect
Posted: October 11th, 2011, 11:30pm Report to Moderator
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Mine has been submitted.

Feedback from my girlfriend: Not my best


A Picture Is Worth

If you want me to read your script, send me a link.
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leitskev
Posted: October 11th, 2011, 11:38pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra, I think there are a lot of possible elements for Gothic horror, but we're also limited by the fact that we're dealing with shorts here. So I think at some point it comes down to simply we know Gothic when we see it. Romance over rational, spiritual over logical is usually the flavor. A blend of the tragic and the heroic. But to me, one word most comes to mind for Gothic: the past.

Gothic takes inspiration from the past. Past lives, past ages, past architecture. If we don't see ghosts, we feel them, because we are keenly aware of the continuous connection to our past. Old buildings, cemeteries, even old languages. The Gothic movement has always been strongest in times when most of society is looking to the future. Science, progress, and all that. In that environment, eventually, especially in times of rapid change, there is a longing for the past. As we move deeper into the technological age, this longing will get even deeper.

I think your work tends to be Gothic anyway. You love to explore the echos of the past that live in our ancient legends and archaic rituals. You could do this challenge without trying! This challenge was made for you.
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leitskev
Posted: October 11th, 2011, 11:40pm Report to Moderator
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Nice job, UsualS!  

My two other OWC's I did in less than 24 hrs. This one, I've spent a lot of time thinking, but it's been a struggle. I can't quite make it work. Still a few days, though!
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Hugh Hoyland
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 7:58am Report to Moderator
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Leitskev, I'm in the same boat. Not sure why but I'm having a hard time with this one.

And its not the subject at all since I love Gothic horror (or any horror).

Thank gosh I have a couple of days off work lol


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from leitskev
Sandra, I think there are a lot of possible elements for Gothic horror, but we're also limited by the fact that we're dealing with shorts here. So I think at some point it comes down to simply we know Gothic when we see it. Romance over rational, spiritual over logical is usually the flavor. A blend of the tragic and the heroic. But to me, one word most comes to mind for Gothic: the past.

Gothic takes inspiration from the past. Past lives, past ages, past architecture. If we don't see ghosts, we feel them, because we are keenly aware of the continuous connection to our past. Old buildings, cemeteries, even old languages. The Gothic movement has always been strongest in times when most of society is looking to the future. Science, progress, and all that. In that environment, eventually, especially in times of rapid change, there is a longing for the past. As we move deeper into the technological age, this longing will get even deeper.

I think your work tends to be Gothic anyway. You love to explore the echos of the past that live in our ancient legends and archaic rituals. You could do this challenge without trying! This challenge was made for you.


Kevin, if that's the case, then it's a good thing I'm trying.  

It's a very deep feeling within that "something" exists within physical matter that is created, a kind of spiritual imprint. When I pick up something that someone once owned, if they are dead or even if they just gave it away, they owned it and had it for a reason. Like you said once in one of your posts about asking questions and you gave the menu example. I loved that because it's so true.

I was thinking of you when writing this one and something came up. I'm giving myself away, but I just couldn't help myself. I like to have fun.  

Sandra



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leitskev
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:47am Report to Moderator
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I tried to map this story out with the elements I wanted, couldn't do it, so I just started writing. The problem with doing that is that since it's like starting a journey where you don't know the destination, you have no idea how long it will take to get there. Which means you don't know if you can get it done in 12 pages.

I know what your saying about places and objects that have a history. There's a house up the street from me that was built in 1688, and is largely unchanged. It's amazing to think of the people that built it and what their world looked like. The walls are wood, but brick reinforced inside because Indian raids were a frequent worry. The man who built it had lost 2 brothers to such attacks the year before. It's cool to try to imagine their world.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 12:13pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from leitskev
I tried to map this story out with the elements I wanted, couldn't do it, so I just started writing. The problem with doing that is that since it's like starting a journey where you don't know the destination, you have no idea how long it will take to get there. Which means you don't know if you can get it done in 12 pages.



I'm so often in that boat. I don't want to be, but that's how my mind works.

Right now it's this:

CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT! And I've got it back to 12 pages.  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 4:58pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from leitskev
Sandra, I think there are a lot of possible elements for Gothic horror, but we're also limited by the fact that we're dealing with shorts here. So I think at some point it comes down to simply we know Gothic when we see it. Romance over rational, spiritual over logical is usually the flavor. A blend of the tragic and the heroic. But to me, one word most comes to mind for Gothic: the past.

Gothic takes inspiration from the past. Past lives, past ages, past architecture. If we don't see ghosts, we feel them, because we are keenly aware of the continuous connection to our past. Old buildings, cemeteries, even old languages. The Gothic movement has always been strongest in times when most of society is looking to the future. Science, progress, and all that. In that environment, eventually, especially in times of rapid change, there is a longing for the past. As we move deeper into the technological age, this longing will get even deeper.

I think your work tends to be Gothic anyway. You love to explore the echos of the past that live in our ancient legends and archaic rituals. You could do this challenge without trying! This challenge was made for you.


Who are you?

Seriously, Kevin.

Your first script still resounds with me.

You are a brilliant mind that I am fortunate to enjoy.

I call, "Kevin!" and he's also my daughter's fiance, and...

He's you,ready to work and explore.

He helps me every moment. He reaches things down from the high shelves because he's close to seven feet tall and that's not a metaphor, but really: He's tall.

When I spotted you, Kevin, on Simply, I saw you as tall--

An individual with a "past". One that ran several blocks in his time. One that chattered and  then listened in quiet abandon.

I saw you as "The Second" described:

The Surface is home to the mindless...

Go Deep.

He resounds with me too.

EXT. SIMPLY CASTLE - NIGHT

Skeleton keys fly in the wind like leaves.

KEVIN and SANDRA, ageless, watch.

Kevin costumed as a Vamp and Sandra costumed as a Witch.
They seem puzzled by it all. The keys. Or the coffee. Or the Mix Master dude at the bar.

INT. BAR

A freakin' high one. Impossible to reach unless you're a pole vaulter or something. SUPER MAN BAR HOPPER, mighty suited JUMPS. All the way to:

BACK AT THE CASTLE

Super Man Bar Hopper splats in front of Kevin and Sandra. They look, but seem indifferent. The keys are more fascinating. Super's not impressed. He worked so hard to get here.

Kevin (V.O.)
Someday I'll grab one.

Sandra (V.O.)
And if I take away The Lock? ...
What good will it be?

Kevin (V.O.)
It will be good enough.

Now Super seems intrigued too. He squints up at the whirling keys.

EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT (Darker Than Dark)

The keys keep their whirl now with leaves in the wind, joining them.

INT. GOTHIC CASTLE - LATER

A staircase so steep and twisted it looks like Sandra's mind. Never mind, at least a key made it through the chimney. Here it comes. Dancing down the stairs.

SANDRA
Where's Super?

KEVIN
Bad news. He choked on a key.

SANDRA
Ah. I hate it when that happens.
Choking, burning. What's that other one?

KEVIN
The Crank.

Sandra has the look of "oh yeah forgot about that one".

KEVIN
Cranking that shaft for food. Blimey I starved to death
one year from overwork.

Sandra puts a sympathy hand on his shoulder. They both look down.

Kevin catches THE KEY. He SNAPS IT UP! Clenches his fist.

Sandra kisses his closed fist.

SANDRA
It's lucky!
Now you have it...

KEVIN
Now I let it go...

Kevin lets it fly.

Some private joke. They laugh.

The Key flies somewhere, anywhere...

Both Sandra and Kevin watch it go. They watch it fly, away...

FADE OUT:








A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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RayW
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 8:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.
Thank you, Ray.  
G-d bless you R.

You're welcome, our beautiful Sandra.
And God bless you as well.



To the collective whole having difficulty with this challenge, myself included:
I think this may be difficult to craft because the heart of Gothic Horror isn't blood and guts and torture and madmen and murdering ghosts and whatnot.

Gothic Horror is about a tragedy.
Something that could have been beautiful, but wasn't, and now is lost forever which is both good and bad but mostly just sad.
A love story gone awry.
A tragedy.



To me, it will be most interesting to see not only how many writers crafted a story that technically fit the challenge and how many instead wrote variations of "plain old spook-N-splatter horror - in a mansion!", but also how well we judge these stories based upon adherence to the criteria.

Will we like a fair story that fits the criteria and choose that to move forward to iscript.
Or will we just pick the story we like the most, irregardless of criteria, to move forward?



Quoted from Grandma Bear
....mine sort of strayed into erotica. Not trying to be funny here. I'm serious.

Eh... it happens.  




Revision History (1 edits)
RayW  -  October 12th, 2011, 8:59pm
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Grandma Bear
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 8:54pm Report to Moderator
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The better story should be chosen IMHO unless it strays too far from the challenge given.

I want to know what rating we should go for....mine sort of strayed into erotica. Not trying to be funny here. I'm serious.


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stevie
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
The better story should be chosen IMHO unless it strays too far from the challenge given.

I want to know what rating we should go for....mine sort of strayed into erotica. Not trying to be funny here. I'm serious.


Yes, we believe you, Pia...



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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:06pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Grandma Bear
The better story should be chosen IMHO unless it strays too far from the challenge given.

I want to know what rating we should go for....mine sort of strayed into erotica. Not trying to be funny here. I'm serious.


Mine did too though it wasn't explicit.

I'm not sure what to do. To cut it or what? I might have to just leave it and move on as always. I do so much re-writing as I write, I wind up spent.

I think some of my projects will just have to die. I think I'll put them all-- all together...

In a graveyard and bury them. I'm getting to the point where that's what I want to do. I'm even game for having ritual fires and burning notebooks. Scads of fun. Who needs them?

Sandra



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RayW
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.
I think some of my projects will just have to die. I think I'll put them all-- all together...

In a graveyard and bury them. I'm getting to the point where that's what I want to do. I'm even game for having ritual fires and burning notebooks. Scads of fun. Who needs them?

Fantastic.
Now, if you could just make the scripts children or lovers of the deacon at the oppressively ominous setting of a Victorian church graveyard then you've got your alternate entry.  




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rdhay
Posted: October 12th, 2011, 9:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from RayW

To the collective whole having difficulty with this challenge, myself included:
I think this may be difficult to craft because the heart of Gothic Horror isn't blood and guts and torture and madmen and murdering ghosts and whatnot.

Gothic Horror is about a tragedy.
Something that could have been beautiful, but wasn't, and now is lost forever which is both good and bad but mostly just sad.
A love story gone awry.
A tragedy.



Thanks heaps!! I FINALLY know what to write thanks to that
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