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A lot of good writing on display here. Sorry I don't have time for a longer review. Couple things to point out.
I didn't think killing the wife made sense. The locket should have been enough. Maybe Amos could up the pressure by discussing some things shared between them. Embarrassing things. And it means the ghost does not have to have a gun, which is bad form for spirits.
The biting tongue aspect to the murder is not at all consistent with the love expressed in the final words. This should have been a mercy killing. The tongue thing is cheap.
strong effort. Could do well at festivals. I read that films that deal with homosexuality are generally advanced through the early rounds no matter what, for the PC crowd. Good luck.
Yeah, I agree that the twist was effective. But I didn't feel the gothic horror vibe at all. The exchange between Henry and Melinda reminded me of a script in the last OWC and that was meant to be a bit comedic (I think...). Anyway, good job. With the comments you've gotten here, it'll make for a nice rewrite
I loved the story and your script. It was well written, and the story was interesting. A subject you don't see often in this era. I knew what was going to happen before the ending, but I don't mind. Overall great script. one of my favorite!
I'll skip the spelling errors and such as they have been mentioned.
Story wise, not bad at all. Had a bit of a squirm factor there, and not just because of the gore either lol. A premise that comes out of left field IMO, who knows, something like it might have happened for real.
hey everyone, just wanted to say thank you SO much for reading my script and commenting. you all had great advice and i will definitely put it to good use.
as far as formatting errors are concerned, i wrote this on celtx.
when it came to the genre, gothic horror is strictly defined as horror and romance. so i stuck to the bare bones of the genre and ran with it. did it qualify as a standard "gothic horror" script? probably not. but i was okay with that and wanted to write it anyways.
overall i think this script suffered from two things, lack of time and a page limit. i wanted to build up the eeriness at the beginning but couldn't because we can't exceed 12 pages. but thats what makes these OWC so difficult...and fun.
some of you didn't like the tone of the beginning. however i'm keeping it. i wanted to open on something a bit light. plus it pokes fun at the protag for not being able to "get it up" around his wife (because he's gay).
i do have one question however for all of you who commented. do your comments still stand outside of the OWC? in other words, ditch the genre requirements and judge this script on its own. would you still recommend i change the things you suggested i change, outside the confines of the OWC? i just need to know for the rewrite. thanks!