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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  A Head Full of Lightning - WT Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    A Head Full of Lightning - WT  (currently 1123 views)
leitskev
Posted: June 5th, 2019, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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If you are going to joust with me on every thread, should I pour myself a drink? I'm done reading. Sounds like fun!

I'll move my scoring approach to the general thread
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 5th, 2019, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
If you are going to joust with me on every thread, should I pour myself a drink? I'm done reading. Sounds like fun!

I'll move my scoring approach to the general thread


No attempt at jousting or picking on just you.  My points should be valid and thought about and responded to.

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leitskev
Posted: June 5th, 2019, 9:17pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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I responded in the general thread, Jeff. I didn't want to hijack this script's thread with a discussion about scores.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 5th, 2019, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
I responded in the general thread, Jeff. I didn't want to hijack this script's thread with a discussion about scores.


Right on...
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khamanna
Posted: June 5th, 2019, 11:49pm Report to Moderator
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I liked this one a lot.
The idea is cool.
George is crazy.
Clara is not just a crazy maniac but she's a Nazi. Very cool.
And the genre is very in. It's pretty funny too.
Nice one.
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PrussianMosby
Posted: June 6th, 2019, 2:45pm Report to Moderator
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A Head Full Of Lightning

I think you got a great sense of timing Humor, many stuff was on point.

The switch to horror of course was haphazardly.

However I truly enjoyed the ride here. Also, a very tidy performance. Double good.



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JEStaats
Posted: June 7th, 2019, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Definitely an attempt of fusion here but not much of either registering with me. The finniest line for me was when the Dr. wiped her hands on her lap after hearing what she does with the doll. Good visual.

Story-wise, it started off okay but quickly went off the rails when George would go to the mall to sell Hitler dolls. Did George really exist? I was led to believe that he was only ever the bobblehead.

A bit overwritten with the detail that didn't add much to the story.

Good effort with the comedy; it just didn't strike me except for the hands. Good job.
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