How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests
The Irishman's Apprentice (currently 541 views)
Posted: May 13th, 2018, 9:16am
So, what are you writing?
Posts Per Day
The Irishman's Apprentice
by Gerald Goble - Action, Adventure - A phone call on New Years Day and Jack Wellington a recent graduate of Princeton is three days later in Thailand as an intern to a UN Attaché, Jimmy Morrissey, working under a UN Treaty to help recover, and protect cultural relics. Sent to recover a large Buddha washed away by the tsunami, Jack is in a world of criminals, assassins, Thai Boxers, smugglers, and drug lords to recover a ruby eye stolen from Buddha’s belly. The only instruction from the Irishman is “Read Shakespeare me boy.” 98 pages - pdf format
New writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted: July 14th, 2018, 4:59am
Posts Per Day
Went through the first 16 pages or so, after that, couldn't do it.
Chars intro- formatting non-existant. Also don't use different names for the same person during the same dialogue sequense (first page, done twice). Huge action blocks- break them down (2-3 liners or something). Most action blocks use past tense. Use present. There are some huge one way dialogue chunks in there. Feels unrealistic. Many grammatical errors, punctuation etc. I think the script needs a serious rewrite.
Reply: 1 - 3
Posted: July 15th, 2018, 3:25pm
Let The Sky Fall
Posts Per Day
Super cred on managing 16 pages, G, I'm out on two.
Reply: 2 - 3
Posted: July 15th, 2018, 5:14pm
Posts Per Day
This was kind of a tough read, and I admit that I couldn't get far. I notice that you don't use "Fade in" to kick it off, but you use "Fade to" to cut to different scenes. Just something I wanted to point out 'cause it was kinda bugging me...
That said, congrats on finishing your screenplay. Study the craft a bit more, read screenplays, and do some rewrites. A lot of writing involves rewriting
Reply: 3 - 3
[ Board Index Action/Adventure Scripts previous | next ]
Switch to: News Questions or Comments Site Redesign Screenwriting Class Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Review My Logline Script Review Exchange My Work In Progress Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts The 2020 Writers' Tournament The 2019 Writers' Tournament The 2018 Writers' Tournament Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Radio and Stage Plays June, 2020 One Week Challenge May, 2020 Challenge March Challenge January 2020 - One Week Challenge October, 2019 One Week Challenge The August Challenge April, 2019 One Week Challenge January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post polls You may not post attachments
HTML is on Blah Code is on Smilies are on