All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Interesting. I thought the story was decent. The ending was... meh. The best part was when she found out what was on his phone. It actually got tense during that part and I felt it. Especially with her being a murder writer. I don't understand why he didn't try to stop her when she uncuffed him.
Now for directing tips. I feel that your shot selection was lacking. Try pulling the camera back and getting more interesting angles. Depth is key. I did enjoy the scene in the bathroom. I'm assuming you added the red in post? Because a modern bathroom is not likely to hold a red light.
Also for the bathroom scene, I feel that multiple closeups on her face would serve well here (closer than what was shot). And ending with a face should would add more suspense to what she would do rather than showing her walking out. The final shot was dragged out way too long. Just one quick pan would show what the viewer already assumes.
This leads me to editing. Always try to make the film seem as professional as possible. Frankly, the editing took that away for me. I'm not saying the editing was bad, I'm just saying it could have been better.
Well that's my bit. Keep at it because this is better than a lot of other stuff out there and there's a lot to build on here. Don't stop because I'm sure you'll get larger budgets for better projects (look at Christopher Nolan's first short film).
Pages: 1
Author
My Short Film
Logged
Locked Board