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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  Another Big Script Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Another Big Script  (currently 1015 views)
shelbyoops
Posted: September 4th, 2005, 10:58am Report to Moderator
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That looked like so much fun so I decided to try and start another one. I doubt anyone will look at this so I am just standing here talking to myself. I will start anyway...

Open on: U-Haul Van, INT, Night.

There are three people in the car. Greg, 31, a dad. and Cheryl, 33, a mom. Their 8 year old son is in the back seat. He is asleep.

Greg: (quietly)
What did we do to deserve this?

Cheryl: (quietly)
This is what happens when you do something good. From now on lets be bad people so we can be rewarded.

Greg:
I don't think that would be a good way to raise Charley.

Cheryl:
I was kidding.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
shelbyoops  -  September 4th, 2005, 4:36pm
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Balt
Posted: September 4th, 2005, 8:36pm Report to Moderator
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Um... question. What the hell is this about? Also, you don't need to write "A DAD" "A MOM" we can probably assume that when you say so and so and so and so are in the front seat, their 8 year old son is in the back.

I mean if you are just getting into writing, it's always great to write and write and write some more, so don't think you are writing for nothing. Maybe you're right, nobody will read your work... but the point isn't to have someone read it at your stage. The point is to get more and more experience so that someday, soon even, you will have a polished script people will want to read.

Feedback is always good, but general knowledge is always better I say. If you know what you like and think drives the screenplay then it shouldn't matter what anyone else has to say or think about your screenplay.

Good luck on your scripts.
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lesleyjl21
Posted: January 2nd, 2006, 1:32pm Report to Moderator
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I know this topic is very old, but shelby, if you are still out there, I'd like to encourage you and anyone else who would like to revive our old original concept and start again.  That's what this forum was originally for.  We had a script we just individually kept adding scenes to.  

I like the way it has gone, though.  I hope people are finding cowriters and others like themselves to pursue their ideas!


true love waits... i guess.
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I_M
Posted: January 2nd, 2006, 7:48pm Report to Moderator
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Think again.

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Is this some type of game?


Fear Friday: some students will die to survive a twisted killer. Coming soon.
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George Willson
Posted: January 2nd, 2006, 9:47pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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Read the sticky at the top of this board. I never actually noticed it before. Sounds like fun. Here's my go adding to what BigWhoop started.

Greg shifts the van into gear.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE

The U-haul rumbles out of the driveway. Inside the windows, one can make out the four forms tied to chairs and gagged.

INT. UHAUL

GREG
So you're saying they've shouldn't have been so good to us?

CHERYL
Exactly. This is what happens. Someone comes in and makes off with your stuff.

GREG
I still say it's no way to raise Charley, but you gotta pay these things forward, right?

CHERYL
Right. Someone steals our stuff. We steal someone else's. Those people can move on to someone else's. It's fair, I think.

Charley leans in between the seats, rubbing his eyes.

CHARLEY
What time is it?

CHERYL
Go to sleep honey. We're almost home.

CHARLEY
How'd I get in this truck?

CHERYL
Go to sleep, honey, before mommy gets her special gas back out.



Revision History (1 edits)
George Willson  -  January 2nd, 2006, 9:58pm
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I_M
Posted: January 2nd, 2006, 10:36pm Report to Moderator
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Think again.

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Here's what I add on. Here goes:

CHARLEY
Tell me how I got into this truck.

CHERYL
I told you to go to sleep. NOW.

CHARLEY
And what street are we on!

CHERYL (tenser)
I said go to sleep.

CHARLEY
But where -

GREG (yelling)
GO TO SLEEP.

Charley just stare at his parents as if they were strangers. He lays his head onto the seat and closes his eyes.

CHERYL (whisper to Greg)
This is not our street. This is not even our neighborhood - where are we going?

GREG
To get what belongs to us back -

CHERYL
To be that willingly to get our stuff back?

GREG
Isn't that how you wanna raise Charley?

Greg floors it.

Ext. Street - Night

The Uhaul van zooms down the street, making a loud screeeech.


Fear Friday: some students will die to survive a twisted killer. Coming soon.
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George Willson
Posted: January 3rd, 2006, 4:25pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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A squirrel stares at the large vehicle that narrowly missed hitting it.

INT. UHAUL - NIGHT

Cheryl looks at Greg\, incredulous. Charley sits up in the back seat, rubbing his head.

CHARLEY
What happend?

CHERYL
You would rob some family blind, but not hit a squirrel?

GREG
Well, he doesn't deserve to be hit.

CHERYL
He's a rodent. Icky, yucky, smelly, annoying rodent.

GREG
I think he can hear you.

CHERYL
That stupid little pest can't understand me. He's just an animal.

GREG
He looks angry.

CHERYL
You can't tell if he's angry!

CHARLEY
Uh, mom. I really think he can hear you.

CHERYL
Well, my window's open, so he probably can. And I told you to go to sleep.

CHARLEY
But I don't want-

CHERYL
Here, smell this.

Cheryl hands Charley a white gauze pad. Charley smells it. His eyes roll back into his head and he collapses.

GREG
Uh, Cheryl?

Cheryl whips around.

CHERYL
What?

Her eyes grow wide. The squirrel suts on the dashboard inside the U-haul. It looks at her intently.

CHERYL
What do I do?

GREG
I don't know. Apologize.

CHERYL
For what? It's just a dumb anima-

The squirrel makes a tiny fist and bops Cheryl on the the nose.

CHERYL
Okay, I'm sorry.

The squirrel bops her again before leaping out the window. In mid-air, a bus drives by and hits it, carrying it along the bus route.

Greg and Cheryl exhale.

CHERYL
Can we move along now? Maybe we can use some of this crap to barter with those idiots to get our stuff back.


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I_M
Posted: January 3rd, 2006, 6:08pm Report to Moderator
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Think again.

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CHERYL
I can't believe that squirrel did that to me. I just wanna smack it.

GREG
You had your chance.

The UHAUL van keeps on moving.

PAN to the backseat.

CHARLEY is sound alseep.

Cheryl looks into the back. She then notices A BOX on the floor.

CHERYL
What is that?

GREG
What?

CHERYL
There is a box...

Cheryl reaches for the box. She pulls it out to the front seat. She tears off the tape.

GREG
You gonna open that?

CHERYL
Wonder what is in here.

Cheryl opens the flap of the box. She lets out a bloody scream.


Fear Friday: some students will die to survive a twisted killer. Coming soon.
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BigBadBrian
Posted: January 3rd, 2006, 6:18pm Report to Moderator
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INT. INTERSECTION

Cheryl stares with her eyes wide out the window.  Greg looks at her and waves his hand in front of her face. She looks at him still with her eyes wide.

GREG
I know that this day has been rough for you Cheryl. First we are gagged, a squirrel attacked you, and now you found the head of Gary Coleman.

CHERYL
Whatchu talkin' bout' Greg?!

Cheryl seems to be in a trance.

GREG
Is it truly necessary to immitate Gary Cole...

CHERYL
Whatchu talkin' bout' Greg?!

The light ahead of them turns green, but Greg doesn't accelerate forward. He is focused on Cheryl.

GREG
Stop it.

CHERYL
Whatchu talkin' bout' Greg?!

Some horns start honking behind the Uhaul van and then Greg notices. He floors it and they go into the intersection.

The box starts sliding back towards Charley, and then it tips. Out roles the head of Gary Coleman. Eyes wide open. It knocks into Charley waking him.

He let's out a scream and kicks it away. Then he notices another box in the corner. Cheryl looks back along with Greg when they collide head on with a tree.

The other box tumbles over and out roles Chuck Norris' head.

CHARLEY
What is going on?!
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I_M
Posted: January 3rd, 2006, 6:50pm Report to Moderator
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Think again.

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EXT. INTERSECTION

We see the UHAUL VAN smashed against the street. Smoke comes out of the roof.

INT. UHAUL VAN

The three give eachother looks.

GREG
Heads?! Where are the boxes getting shipped to? A sadistic serial killer?

CHARLEY
Murder! Murder!

CHERYL
There is Gary Coleman's head! And Chuck Norris'!

Greg takes a look at the head.

GREG
There's no blood.

CHERYl
What?

GREG
There is no blood.

Greg takes the box. He reads the label.

GREG (reading out loud)
Getting shipped to Hollywood, California.

CHARLEY
They're filming a movie.

GREG
Yes...to the set of Mission Possible.

CHERYL
You mean mission impossible?

GREG
No...Mission Possible.

CHARLEY
Hey - look -

Charley points at the window.

A CAR passes the UHAUL VAN.

CHERYL
Those theives!

Greg tries to start the car. It's hardly working and the hood falls off.


Greg floors it.

EXT. INTERCUT - NIGHT

The UHAUL van runs down the road, passing a sign that says,

                          'HOLLYWOOD, CA'
                                30 MILES


Fear Friday: some students will die to survive a twisted killer. Coming soon.
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George Willson
Posted: January 3rd, 2006, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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INT. UHAUL

The spedometer teeters near 40 MPH. The UHAUL shakes under the stress of such a high speed.

GREG
Tell me again why we're chasing them?

CHERYL
They're theives. I told you.

GREG
How do you know that?

CHERYL
Women's intuition.

GREG
Is that the same intuition that got us a Uhaul full of other people's stuff and a bizarre shipment of has-been actors' heads?

CHERYL
Of course!

GREG
Oh, well. That's ok then.

EXT. HIGHWAY

The Uhaul zips past a small campsite. The super-sonic speed of the truck causes the two inhabitants of the tent to look up.

They watch as the Uhaul very, very slowly trundles past them. These two are FRANK and ERNEST.

FRANK
Wow, I never seen a Uhaul move that fast.

ERNEST
Me neither. It's gonna pass that Yugo.

FRANK
Hey, get me that power supply out of the truck.

Ernest walks over to a large Uhaul. He opens the rear door. Just inside is a framed picture of Greg, Cheryl, and Charley. Ernest grabs a large black box. He hands it to Frank.

ERNEST
What do tou think their hurry is?

FRANK
Dunno. If they were chasing that Viper that zipped by here a moment ago, they are SOL.

Ernest nods.


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Antemasque
Posted: January 4th, 2006, 6:43pm Report to Moderator
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the ocean floor is hidden from your viewing lens

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George Willson
Posted: January 4th, 2006, 6:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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I believe you're right. But this was fun too.


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