Hi everyone.
I’m French, I’m 22, and I’m looking for someone to polish a script that I’ve written. Let me explain! It’s a script that I’ve been working on for 6 months and that should appeal to those who enjoyed Finding Neverland, Billy Elliot, Bridge to Terabithia or Miyazaki’s animes… I wrote the script in French first, translated it into English with the help of an American friend and showed it to someone who’s been working in the American cinema industry for more than 10 years. This person said that it was a great script, that the plot was well-built, gripping and surprising, and it definitely had commercial potential. However, before I send it to an agency, I’d like somebody to help me rewrite some passages, improve the overall English, optimize the dialogues… I’m looking for someone speaking American English, who has already done scriptwriting, who is motivated, enjoys creative collaboration, writes well and fast, and who’d be ready to help me find an agency. I don’t mean to sound too demanding or bossy (lol) but it’s a script that I know can be sold, and I’d like to do so before summer (as it doesn’t need a lot of rewriting and polishing).
Here are the advantages that I would offer to my co-writer:
- the script is already written (so you don’t have to bother about gathering ideas, developing characters, building up a solid plot… everything’s already there)
- I’m planning to use a script-doctor for grammar/spelling/formatting and also to get a review of the script. And I’ll pay for those services, not my co-writer.
- The script that I wrote is already protected by WorldWide OCR and referenced at the WGA, so my co-writer wouldn’t have to pay for that either.
- I offer my co-writer 20% on the price of the script.
- The person I know who works in the cinema industry knows several agencies that she said she will contact for me (us) once the script is finished and polished.
- If our collaboration works fine, I have other projects that we could be working on…

I think that’s about it. If anybody’s interested, please contact me at the following email address: spypickshadow@hotmail.com
I’m usually on MSN over the weekend if you’d rather msn me.
Hoping to hear from you soon!!!  

Pierrick

This seems shady. Anyone else agree?

I don't think it seems shady at all, but perhaps a bit naive on part of the writer.

With hundreds of thousands of scripts to chose from and only a couple of hundred of movies being made each year (not counting no budget indie flicks) it's very unlikely for any of us to get anything sold and a REAL paycheck in hand.

Sad but true. I do wish the writer the best of luck though. Most of us love a rags to riches story.

I think it sounds shady because the offer of 20% seems awfully high. Also this is the first thing he posts after joining the site? If he's written other things, why aren't they posted on here?

Hey,
Thank you for your messages. I'm sorry if my offer seems shady to some of you (after rereading it, I agree that it looks like one of those 'we're unique, work with us' kind of offers). Maybe naive is a more appropriate word, though... I am (sadly) well aware of the fact that selling a script is extremely hard, even if you already know people in the industry. On the other hand, how can you write a script passionately if you're not convinced that you might end up selling it? Maybe it's just me, but I believe in what I do, I put a lot of efforts and time into it and I think that those who have managed to sell their scripts wrote in the same perspective. I'm not even trying to persuade anyone that I have THE script and that I can garantee a sale. That's be stupid and totally unrealistic. All I'm saying is I wrote a script that I believe in, someone who's the industry advised me and said the story had potential, and I'd like to try and sell it as soon as possible. Thank you "Me" for your comprehension.
Regarding the 20% that seems "awefully high", the reason is that I'm French and I had to ask many different English-speaking people to help me translate it into English. The process turned out to be very complicated because I had to synthetize all the suggestions from everyone, and I was sometimes embarrassed to ask people for such favors. So I prefer to offer 20% to a co-writer who'd accept to help me, so that my scripts and my problems would become our script and our problems. Just try and write a script in another language and you'll see how much you need a native to convert your story into the foreign language...
To finish with, this is the first message that I've posted for the simple reason that I created my account one week ago and that the script I'm talking about is the first I've ever written in English.
I hope you can understand me and you don't think I'm a bad person... Thanks,
Pierrick

Who translates your posts for this message board?

I write the messages myself....

Quoted from Pants Who translates your posts for this message board?

Pants,

You're obviously not interested in working with the guy, and he's done his best to explain himself and the situation, so just lay off, woulda?

Quoted from Shelton Pants, You're obviously not interested in working with the guy, and he's done his best to explain himself and the situation, so just lay off, woulda?

That's not the point. I would think as a moderator you wouldn't want shady people on this board. If you don't care who posts on your board than fine. He had a long drawn out story of how he needs an English speaking person to help translate this script and help him clean it up. I'm merely pointing out that his posts seem pretty clear and well written to me (in English). That's all I'll say. I'm done with this guy.

Dans ce cas-là, peut-être que t'as envie que je te parle en français pour comprendre que je n'invente pas d'histoire et que je ne suis pas quelqu'un de douteux ?

First off, you're the only person that's commented on them being shady so far.  It usually takes a little more than that for a mod to take notice if they haven't done so themselves already.

As a moderator, it's my job to keep the peace and to prevent people from piling on and/or things from getting out of hand.

This is not my board, but I do care about who posts here. The fact remains that his request is in line with the purpose of this board.  He's seeking someone to collaborate with.

Now, if you think that's shady, that's fine.  You're entitled to your opinion.  I will point out, however, that if someone thinks something is suspect or is simply not interested, they'll refrain from responding and allow the thread to disappear.

I don't understand why you have a grudge against me, Pants... I'm not a shady person and I've been honest right from the beginnig...
Pierrick

I've talked to Perrick and looked over his script out of curiosity. English is his second language, so what needs is someone to take the occasionally clunky translations and smooth over the rough edges. He writes in English well but like anyone else who isn't 100% fluent in his second language, on occasion his meaning may not be clear.  Whoever helped him translate the script did a literal translation, and as such, the descriptions and dialogue are a bit awkward at times.

Look at his first post - it was friendly enough if a bit over the top in enthusiasm.
But the contacts I've had with him are pleasant. He's very confident of what he's written and has lots of enthusiasm.