All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Talking a valid lead from Shaun/Ledbetter, let me attempt to be succinct...
For all you eager beaver's out there all wound up and nowhere to write, frustrated by the JAN 3WC, Pia and Rick are ginning-up a semi-traditional FEB OWC challenge.
The focus of any contest, competition and challenge should be on the story itself. It's CONTENT. - Is it a story at all? (A point that eludes me at times). - Are the characters and conflict interesting? - Character arc is present or not?
Sometimes there are so many grievances with format the readers can't even appreciate the writer's story.
These FORMAT Exercises are for those of you responsible for generating some of the following samples of reader complaints on FORMAT: - "CHARACTER should be (V.O.) when narrating. Its the standard for narration." - "Ease up on the wrylies... (pause)... in the middle of your dialogue, maybe break up your dialogue with a small action." - "....you have an interesting logline, but cut few more words, as goes for the whole script, don't describe too much." Those are ya'll's quotes. Same as attached below.
Everyone should cultivate and build a repertoire of several genres to present at a pitch, so a Romantic Comedy short seems an appropriate writing theme for February. (AKA Valentine's Day for those global SSers of different cultural backgrounds).
FEBRUARY FORMAT EXERCISE February => Valentine's Day => RomCom Theme: Write a Romantic Comedy short. Elements:February 1, 2011 New York Times Headlines. Ruling Against Health Care Law Evens Scorecard at 2-to-2 A judge said the insurance mandate in the health law made it unconstitutional, going further than a judge in Virginia had.
Nabokov Theory on Polyommatus Blue Butterflies Is Vindicated Vladimir Nabokov studied butterflies, and he came up with a sweeping hypothesis that, 65 years later, DNA analysis has proven correct.
Mubarak’s Grip on Power Is Shaken The new vice president said President Hosni Mubarak authorized him to speak with the opposition, and the army said it would not fire on ...
Android System Overtakes Symbian Android, the Google operating system for cellphones, has replaced Nokia's Symbian system as the market leader, a research firm said Monday.
Wary of Egypt Unrest, China Censors Web Two of the nation's biggest online portals blocked keyword searches of the word “Egypt,” and the use of the word has also been blocked on ...
Dietary Guidelines Urge Less Soda and Smaller Meals The latest federal nutrition guidelines reiterate much from previous years, but this time, they also suggest just consuming less.
On Way to Super Bowl, Steelers Groom Linebackers Their Way The Steelers unearth them even in the draft's late rounds, keep plenty in the pipeline and make them sit until they absorb the details of a ...
Apple Moves to Tighten Control of App Store Sony said Apple had rejected its e-book app because it did not route book sales through Apple's system.
Diesel Use in Gas Drilling Cited as Violation of Safe-Water Law Chemicals used in a process called fracking contaminate water sources, Congressional investigators told the E.P.A..
Oil Prices Jump on Concerns About Egypt The instability could hinder oil shipments, raise energy costs and drive equity prices down.
H3ll. If you wanna write a short based on one of these animated GIFs goferit! Be inspired. I don't care.
Think about it for a few days.
Write a short for a few days.
- Make the title match the story. - Make the logline match the story and be enticing. - Watch your slugs. - Watch your action lines and dialog. - Watch your typos, spelling and grammar! LOL! - Try new "special things", like MONTAGEs, SERIES OF SHOTS and FLASHBACKs. Try something new, take your lumps or your positive reinforcement.
- no title page, no FADE IN. double hyphens in slugs, No FADE OUT
- No need to cap props such as the ________ . Why not cap the ______ and _______? It’s like reading your story nice and reasonable and then shouting XXXXXXXXXX!
- you have an interesting logline, but cut few more words, as goes for the whole script, don't describe too much.
- Don't put POV, unless you're gonna direct it.. write it as it's happening.
- why do you have scene heading numbers?
- You gotta take us in to the ______ with a slug. INT. _____ - NIGHT. You just wrote 'inside the _________".
- I’d drop a lot of the ellipses that you have. I don’t think it’s a problem to use them now and again, but you overused it and it got a little distracting as the read became more stunted.
- lose the continueds. Those are just clutter at the top and bottom of your pages.
- Your use of parentheticals is a bit too liberal for me.
- Try and trim your description passages
- You repeat yourself with your slugline _INT. HOUSE and then tell us again we're inside a house.
- Pretty wordy and confusing because of it
- You try to pack too much information in this. Try to give breathing room.
- You only need to CAP their names the first time you intro them.
- You overwrite.
- Condense some of your five line action paragraphs into three lines.
- Go easy on the parentheticals
- You should intro ______ the minute we see her.
- CHARACTER should be (V.O.) when narrating. Its the standard for narration.
- I don't like the numbers on your slugs. Feels more like a shooting script versus a spec.
- Ease up on the wrylies... (pause)... in the middle of your dialogue. As a screenwriter, you have to trust good actors to interpret their roles.
- Instead of a (Pause) maybe break up your dialogue with a small action.
- No idea what these characters look like as there is no descriptions for them.
- The logline is good but I don't think it's close to what the script is about.
- Get rid of the scene numbers!
- Get rid of all the transitions!
- Keep your action blocks down to four lines!
- Get rid of Cont'ds and Continueds!
- Interupting dialog shouldn't begin with a double dash.
- you’re using commas inside your Slugs, when you should be using dashes.
- Why didn't the (V.O.) at least have a character heading? At least MAN'S VOICE. Just looked distracting without it.
- no title page, no FADE IN. double hyphens in slugs, No FADE OUT
- No need to cap props such as the ________ . Why not cap the ______ and _______? It’s like reading your story nice and reasonable and then shouting XXXXXXXXXX!
- you have an interesting logline, but cut few more words, as goes for the whole script, don't describe too much.
- Don't put POV, unless you're gonna direct it.. write it as it's happening.
- why do you have scene heading numbers?
- You gotta take us in to the ______ with a slug. INT. _____ - NIGHT. You just wrote 'inside the _________".
- I’d drop a lot of the ellipses that you have. I don’t think it’s a problem to use them now and again, but you overused it and it got a little distracting as the read became more stunted.
- lose the continueds. Those are just clutter at the top and bottom of your pages.
- Your use of parentheticals is a bit too liberal for me.
- Try and trim your description passages
- You repeat yourself with your slugline _INT. HOUSE and then tell us again we're inside a house.
- Pretty wordy and confusing because of it
- You try to pack too much information in this. Try to give breathing room.
- You only need to CAP their names the first time you intro them.
- You overwrite.
- Condense some of your five line action paragraphs into three lines.
- Go easy on the parentheticals
- You should intro ______ the minute we see her.
- CHARACTER should be (V.O.) when narrating. Its the standard for narration.
- I don't like the numbers on your slugs. Feels more like a shooting script versus a spec.
- Ease up on the wrylies... (pause)... in the middle of your dialogue. As a screenwriter, you have to trust good actors to interpret their roles.
- Instead of a (Pause) maybe break up your dialogue with a small action.
- No idea what these characters look like as there is no descriptions for them.
- The logline is good but I don't think it's close to what the script is about.
- Get rid of the scene numbers!
- Get rid of all the transitions!
- Keep your action blocks down to four lines!
- Get rid of Cont'ds and Continueds!
- Interupting dialog shouldn't begin with a double dash.
- you’re using commas inside your Slugs, when you should be using dashes.
- Why didn't the (V.O.) at least have a character heading? At least MAN'S VOICE. Just looked distracting without it.
You might be onto something here, Ray. This was informative. Perhaps at the end of every month you could write out a "recap" of such notes like you did with the ones above.
It might even make for a good "how-to-or-how-not-to" book, IMO.
It's been nice to see you around here again. Yeah, I might seem a li'l slo... but I'm paying more closerer atenshun then meny think.
Surely everyone else reads these same comments when they go back through the posts. (I'm catching some heat over at another thread, you may notice. LOL!)
Think I need to do one every month? Heck, that's just a few of two day's worth. Don't know about a whole month of it! Egads!
When I started this in November I wasn't so fill of rubbish as participation would suggest. It was with earnest and just provocation.
So, why were you cr@ping all over Captain Kirk last night? =p LOL! I was just being facetious. Didn't realize what a bunch of sensitive people we have. Seems my flavor of late night humor didn't read so funny in the sobriety of daylight.
Apologies to Bert.
I've read 'em all. They each have merit in their own rights. Don't know if I should post any opinions on anything though. It would appear I don't know my @sshole from my pie hole these days.
Sadly, I'm already chipping away at a valentine ditty. So, I must regretfully decline. Another time, pal. Fantastic. I look forward to reading it. No 'grets! No 'grets atoll. You know I'll be here next month till they chase me away with pitchforks and torches.
Pages: 1
Author
<3 <3 Ray's Rom-Com FEBRUARY Format Exercise
Logged
Locked Board