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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Ten Million Apples Moderators: bert
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  Author    Ten Million Apples  (currently 3453 views)
spesh2k
Posted: March 4th, 2008, 7:27pm Report to Moderator
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Adam,

Thanks a bunch for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Quoted Text
[/quote]Jimmy I thought was pretty rounded - he b*tches about people not helping each other but then ignores people in need of help himself (I'm hoping that's not just inconsistency   ). [quote]


No, that's not a inconsistency on my part, that's part of the theme of the story.


Quoted Text
[/quote]The other thing that "took me out" of the story were the times you used coincidence. [quote]


I was always a big Seinfeld fan so I'm always drawn to strange coincidences, just as long as they're not entirely impossible.


Quoted Text
[/quote]p9 I really don't understand the hustle ?????[quote]


It's a hustle that was played on my grandfather once in New Orleans. When the hustler tells you that he knows "Where you got your shoes", he means where you have them right now, not where you bought them. They use slang to confuse their hustlee.


Quoted Text
[/quote]p19 Why doesn't Jimmy just refill his phone (this could be a cultural thing because I think you mention his "bad credit rating" and I'm not familiar with how prepay phones work in the US)[quote]


They have phone cards particularly for prepaid phones and certain brands that you must purchase to refill the account. Jimmy didn't have any money left (they usually sell the cards in multiples of 10 -- $10, $20, $50)


Quoted Text
[/quote]Overall, though, I was an interesting and enjoyable read. Hope it's not based too closely on your own experiences...[quote]


Page 2-25 happened to me (not the hustle though, though it was attempted on me). Everything else is just stuff I read about in the New York newspapers...exaggerated greatly.

Thanks again for the review,

MJK



THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2


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spesh2k  -  March 5th, 2008, 12:06am
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sfpunk
Posted: March 5th, 2008, 1:23am Report to Moderator
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I'll get around to this for you sometime tomorrow night, I don't want you to think I ditched out on it and just left a half assed review. I just had to disagree on phils comments after starting reading and have yet to find the time to finish it. I will read the rest tomorrow and just edit this post into a full review.


My Scripts
'Trail Of Ashes' - (Drama/Horror)

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spesh2k
Posted: March 5th, 2008, 5:48pm Report to Moderator
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No worries...


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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