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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Magic of Letters - A Christmas Story (7WC) Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Magic of Letters - A Christmas Story (7WC)  (currently 4294 views)
Don
Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 12:23pm Report to Moderator
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The Magic of Letters - A Christmas Story (7WC) by Sandra E. Watson - Comedy - A funny grief counselor writes her own true story to help a grieving child; but she's not who she thinks or where she thinks. Her story is out of control and so is her fate as she goes completely virtual. 137 pages - pdf, format


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grademan
Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 8:02pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra:

Congrats on your first feature length! Feels good doesn’t it?!

You’re familiar with my critiques and writing since we’ve been partners in Thief so my comments shouldn’t shock you. I read this through the first 50 pages and became restless knowing I had 87 pages to go and skimmed through the last 15 pages and have one conclusion: Better writing (I could follow it) but still not quite on a coherent train of thought.

I liked the Alice in Wonderland feel of this but there is just too much going on with the characters like Psuedo, The Man, The Narrator, and The Woman plus your large cast of regular characters. I was intrigued by your premise and The Magic of Letters but at 137 pages this comes in too unfocused. I know you had organization, computer file issues and time constraints so that’s not surprising.

I view this as the first draft where you spew everything and anything on paper. No judgment.

Next step: Cut away to get to the core of your story here. And it is a magical story. Just needs some hocus - focus.

BTW, Bella was my fav character.

Gary


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_ghostwriters
Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 8:59pm Report to Moderator
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Hello Sandra...

I'm dashing my way through the (7WC) list and guess what?  Today, tag, "The Magic of Letters - A Christmas Story," is it.  

Having said this...

Congrats on finishing.  It's nice to see something .. BOLD ... FRESH ... and NEW from you.  Needless to say you didn't disappoint.  You stay true to form as well.  You've created a writing style all of your own.  You didn't bold anything this time around though.

That's the thing about virtual ... much like fantasy.  The possibilities are endless on what you can do with them.  I thought the logline was very be-fitting for your 137 page masterpiece.  It only took me three hours to get through this.

Characters - I thought you described them very well.  Some might think you overdescribed but to be honest I really don't think you did.  Especially, "Pseudos," that little devil.  Mrs. Feliz," stout as a tea pot."  I liked this.  Very enjoyables characters.  Memorable.

You had very good visuals and I could picture the whole thing.  This would get captured well on the big screen. You also had alot of things going on in here as well.  Lots.  With Bella, Mz.  McAdams and of course your main character, Moira.  If one's not paying attention, they could get very much lost in "The Magic Letters."

Early on, you move alot back and forth between the present and flashbacks.  But I was never lost.  I always knew where I was.  I thought you handled it very well.

Maybe I missed something but I would have liked to see actual direct interaction between Moira and Bella.  In a sense, I guess there was.

I liked how you managed to weave a sprinkle of Christmas classics in this one.  To name a few,...
your montage of page #62, heavenly sleep in peace at the end was a very nice touch.  Again page#92, when Rumley awakens from his dream, looks out his window, sees the kid, like old scrooge and the reference to, "It's a wonderful life," which happens to be my two favorite Christmas movies of all time.

Writer "Wreckadeliosis," was very interesting.  Never heard of that one before.
page#99, Bella's letter you inserted.  One of the few times I laughed out loud.  So loud my wife wanted to see what all the commotion was about.  So, I had her read it as well.

Somethings I would question.  I understand why you did it completely but for the record, and you already know this ... no real need to underline.  Mz. McAdams who mention the fact she's 60's several times.  I stopped counting after the third one.  Am I missing something?  

This did drag a little in the middle but I didn't mind.  Call me bias, but you can easily cut this down to 120 pages and still keep your original intent.  But this is just Ghost.

Overall, this was written well for the most part.  It seems like this is the first version though.  You can tweek somethings here and there and I know you know that.  So that's all I say.  
I think you captured what you wanted.  This was a nice little Christmas story, heart-warming and I can tell you put alot of Christmas Spirit into this.

Merry Christmas to you and your family...

Ghostwriter



"When I dive... I go deep, only to surface the hub when necessary."


Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
_ghostwriters  -  December 23rd, 2009, 10:19pm
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 1:31am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from grademan


Better writing (I could follow it) but still not quite on a coherent train of thought.

I liked the Alice in Wonderland feel of this but there is just too much going on with the characters like Psuedo, The Man, The Narrator, and The Woman plus your large cast of regular characters. I was intrigued by your premise and The Magic of Letters but at 137 pages this comes in too unfocused. I know you had organization, computer file issues and time constraints so that’s not surprising.

I view this as the first draft where you spew everything and anything on paper. No judgment.

Next step: Cut away to get to the core of your story here. And it is a magical story. Just needs some hocus - focus.

BTW, Bella was my fav character.


Thank you so much Gary. I appreciate your review and I started on yours today, but I had too much cooking and "what-not" to attend to. And you already know, that "what nots" are never a good thing when you've only got so much time.

I'm glad you have enjoyed Bella. I had a dream once and I thought, yes, that must have been her.

I definitely want to clean this up and see what I can do with it maybe in the summertime when I'm at my brother's cabin. Then I could really experience Moira Vanish again in the place where I took her. It's real and so is Wolvy. Wolvy was a gift that happened to be caught and stuffed for Dad. I can't remember the story behind it, but there was a great sentiment behind Wolvy.

**


Quoted from _ghostwriters
Hello Sandra...

I'm dashing my way through the (7WC) list and guess what?  Today, tag, "The Magic of Letters - A Christmas Story," is it.  

Having said this...

Congrats on finishing.  It's nice to see something .. BOLD ... FRESH ... and NEW from you.  Needless to say you didn't disappoint.  You stay true to form as well.  You've created a writing style all of your own.  You didn't bold anything this time around though.

That's the thing about virtual ... much like fantasy.  The possibilities are endless on what you can do with them.  I thought the logline was very be-fitting for your 137 page masterpiece.  It only took me three hours to get through this.

Characters - I thought you described them very well.  Some might think you overdescribed but to be honest I really don't think you did.  Especially, "Pseudos," that little devil.  Mrs. Feliz," stout as a tea pot."  I liked this.  Very enjoyables characters.  Memorable.

You had very good visuals and I could picture the whole thing.  This would get captured well on the big screen. You also had alot of things going on in here as well.  Lots.  With Bella, Mz.  McAdams and of course your main character, Moira.  If one's not paying attention, they could get very much lost in "The Magic Letters."

Early on, you move alot back and forth between the present and flashbacks.  But I was never lost.  I always knew where I was.  I thought you handled it very well.

Maybe I missed something but I would have liked to see actual direct interaction between Moira and Bella.  In a sense, I guess there was.

I liked how you managed to weave a sprinkle of Christmas classics in this one.  To name a few,...
your montage of page #62, heavenly sleep in peace at the end was a very nice touch.  Again page#92, when Rumley awakens from his dream, looks out his window, sees the kid, like old scrooge and the reference to, "It's a wonderful life," which happens to be my two favorite Christmas movies of all time.

Writer "Wreckadeliosis," was very interesting.  Never heard of that one before.
page#99, Bella's letter you inserted.  One of the few times I laughed out loud.  So loud my wife wanted to see what all the commotion was about.  So, I had her read it as well.

Somethings I would question.  I understand why you did it completely but for the record, and you already know this ... no real need to underline.  Mz. McAdams who mention the fact she's 60's several times.  I stopped counting after the third one.  Am I missing something?


**
My dear Ghostwriter22,

I love writing that:

My dear Ghostwriter 22,

So I wrote it again.  

I am very happy if you were able to enjoy this in its "written word form". I would love to see it as acted on screen. That would really be some Christmas Magic of Letters.

Writerwreckadelioses was me writing, "What I know".  

I am not a master screenwriter. I don't know movies like most people do, but I do love life and I love the differences I see in people and I love to write and work with people like you here on Simply. As such, when I have the opportunity to work in this environment, I consider myself extremely lucky and I feel blessed- Writerwreckadelioses or no Writerwreckadelioses, or, to put it more simply, Logan or no Logan, but you have to read the "Thief" threads to get that one.  

The Bella character is a kind of tribute to my brother who killed himself. I love him and miss him. He didn't die at Christmas time, but I always think of him and he had such a great sense of humor. And at Christmas, I just think of him and feel his spirit as with me and I know that nothing is really demolished, though it seems that way and I think of how perfect things really are- not in our current perception, but that's the way it is in truth. Completely perfect, after all the junk. Kind of like writing and Rewriting Hell.  

With time and effort, I hope to improve on organizational issues and especially clean up the copy because I know it takes a lot of run-throughs and time to catch it all, but thank God I was able to complete something. Really, it was a 5 week challenge for me because I worked with the cards a lot first. In the end, even they failed me because Bob Dylan showed up and said, "Things Have Changed". Indeed, they did.

Thank you so much for the time. I will be reading our precious and first of the 7WC's, but I have guests for Christmas and cooking and like I said, "What not".

Luvya,

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 2:52am Report to Moderator
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My Dear Bob Dylan,

You were The Stranger that wound up CHANGING EVERYTHING!!!  



Sandra



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_ghostwriters
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Yes, thoroughly enjoyed it.  When I was reading... you do talk about spending time at a cabin and then Moira.  Maybe you even based her off yourself.  A little.  Well that's what I was picturing.

Again good job for only five weeks.

And yes, Bob Dylan was.

Ghost


"When I dive... I go deep, only to surface the hub when necessary."

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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 3:04am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from _ghostwriters
Yes, thoroughly enjoyed it.  When I was reading... you do talk about spending time at a cabin and then Moira.  Maybe you even based her off yourself.  A little.  Well that's what I was picturing.

Again good job for only five weeks.

And yes, Bob Dylan was.

Ghost


Yes, I did base Moira on myself.   That's why I had to give her credit first.

Thank you again. We'll keep up the good work and see what we can manage in the future. I think we can manage a lot more if we work together here. That's something we need to work on and it's hard. Not meant to be easy-- 'cause easy is... well, too easy. And that would be no fun.

Talk soon and catch you on the flip-flop,

Sandra



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stevie
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Hi Sandra. hope you had a nice Christmas.
I'm slowly workig my way through your script - currently up to page 50. I am determined to finish even though it is totally way over my head!
The writing is lavish, with some great subtle references to all sorts of things.

Cheers...from a mindfucked stevie!

(and I mean that in the nicest possible way)



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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 27th, 2009, 12:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Hi Sandra. hope you had a nice Christmas.
I'm slowly workig my way through your script - currently up to page 50. I am determined to finish even though it is totally way over my head!
The writing is lavish, with some great subtle references to all sorts of things.

Cheers...from a mindfucked stevie!

(and I mean that in the nicest possible way)


A mindfuck is the best possible fuck you can experience.

(and I mean that in the nicest possible way)

Thank you Stevie; I appreciate it.

Sandra



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Dreamscale
Posted: December 28th, 2009, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra, I had every intention of reading this entire script, but I’m not going to make it, I’m afraid.  Way too far out there for me.  I got through the intro and really didn’t have much of a clue what was going on, and then “Virtual Vancouver” becomes “Simply Vancouver” and a virtual narrator pops up.

That’s all I can take.  Sorry.  I did start taking notes, so here they are, for what it’s worth.

Happy Holidays!

Page 1 – So much passive verbiage early on that could so easily be made into the active tense.

Page 2 – Since you used a SUPER on Page 1, you’ll have to use another one here to change the time.  Putting it in your Slug doesn’t work in a filmed version.

More passive verbiage.

“THE MAGIC OF LETTERS” – Is this a Slug or what?

“Now Moira speaks directly to you, the Someone, who enquires.” – No clue what this is supposed to mean or what is happening.

4th Wall has been broken, obviously, and I’m completely lost already.

Oh boy, a virtual narrator…I can’t go on, I’m sorry, Sandra.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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rendevous
Posted: December 28th, 2009, 4:07pm Report to Moderator
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Now then. My first of the 7WC works. Thought I'd have a dig in into the space cadet's log. What can I say? I'm a masochist.

I see you've fooked a few heads already Sandra. Good work girl, keep it up.

Moira Vanish? Will she?

You've an unusual flourish with a phrase. That's nice. I find in my own writing I've a habit of using the same stock phrases and sentence structures. Slackness on my part. Typical. I'll remember some of these. That's good. I'm intrigued.

I always get a bit worried when I see INT / EXT as I've no real idea where I'm supposed to be. It ain't so bad with a car but... I dunno, maybe that was the idea.

This TV reporter reminds me of the one in Amelie, sometimes known as Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain de Montmart. Fantastic film, and right up your alley, if you pardon the phrase. Ahem.

I'm big on moaning about 'and' at the moment. I'm gonna tell Rob off about it again soon.

An example to follow. I won't quote much of your script here as folks should read it, in my humble.


Quoted from The Magic Of Letters
Moira pulls out a sketch from her desk and holds it up.


She doesn't really. She pulls it out then holds it up. Small point some would say but it can flaw an otherwise fine phrase.

Now, about twenty pages in or so. It's madness! Madness young lady. I like it and I find myself smiling a lot. There is something USAKing going on here, without all that sperm, penises and vaginas and the like that he's so fond of.

SS HQ? You mean like Don's bedroom? Hey, I heard it's massive. His bedroom that is.

I can you had a lot of fun writing this. An imagination running literally wild. And you have quite an imagination.

Sample dialogue to prove my point
"THE WOMAN: What a tangled web we weave when we practice to dece- December! Happy first of December! Fa-la-la! Sisboomb- bah!"
"GLENDA: Jerk Off Jeremiah and I are through and I won’t be frying him anymore of his morning eggs."

Jerk Off Jeremiah had me laughing out loud, for a while too.. That was a good one.

There's a coupla tech bits which irked me a little. Bit of past tense here and there. ONly a few typos, which was nice.
This fourth wall breaking does get a little confusing. Some, not much, of the dialogue could do with some action lines to break it up a little. Even if it's only a small reaction.

You need to keep dialogue, even when a crowd speak, out of action lines and in dialogue ones.

Punching lines is a no no in my book unless it changes the meaning of the sentence.

On the whole it's a bit too talky for me. But hey, that's just me and talky can be good.

Have to say though, on the whole for a script written quickly with a deadline it's pretty damn fine work. It's mad. But mad has served Gilliam and Lynch and many others well over the years.

I am reading closely too as I do notice some of the earlier imagery reappearing later. Sadly I have no idea why, but I am sure you do, Sandra.

I often found myself lost while reading. That said there's a beauty in the madness of this. Many good ideas. And many good lines too.

To summarise. I'd say it a tad too mad for it's own good making it difficult to follow. However, some of it's really enjoyable, witty and funny. Some of it's plain ol' looney tunes.

Have to say well done on completing the challenge. I obviously wasn't man enough and bottled it without trying. Tune down the crazy stuff and you may have something here.

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

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The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 28th, 2009, 5:42pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you Jeff for giving it a try. It can't possibly be for everyone and it takes a certain type to be able to read and feel the aspects that are within.

RV, thank you for managing with it. I am trying my best to bring the madness down to a level of understanding, but it's hard because I work on the level of feelings and I need to keep coming back around the block several times to figure out just how to do this.

My current goal is to let it get cold and come back to it in the summer and see what I can do. Right now, I need to finish up the 7WC reads and other work I have on the go, do some re-grouping and prepare for the cruise I'll be on at the end of January.

The plan is to bring Moira and the other characters along on the cruise with me. Perhaps to become, The Magic of Letters - A Cruising Story  

Thank you again. It's very much appreciated.

Sandra



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stevie
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Hi Sandra, I've just read from page 50 to the end. I'd just got home from work this morning. We did a dawn fill at the supermarket from 5 am till 9 am. It was a public holiday yesterday and they don't get us in then cos they have to pay penalty rates.

It spissing down rain and very humid - has been since xmas Day!. Anyway, my brain is mushy and tired so I thoguht i'd finish your script.
I still couldn't make head nor tail out of it, but the sheer volume and scope of it is very impressive. If you added some violence to it, I could see Tarantino filming it!!

It also reminded me of something Jack Kerouac or Hunter S thompson would write. I've only heard about their stuff not read it, but yours had that sort of flow to it.
I wouldn't label it stream-of-consciuosness either, because it was evident you had full control over everything at all times - well, except when your real self was pissed or stoned...
Great effort thoguh for the 7 weeks. I admire the immensity of it.

Cheers stevie.



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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 12:05am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from stevie
Hi Sandra, I've just read from page 50 to the end. I'd just got home from work this morning. We did a dawn fill at the supermarket from 5 am till 9 am. It was a public holiday yesterday and they don't get us in then cos they have to pay penalty rates.

It spissing down rain and very humid - has been since xmas Day!. Anyway, my brain is mushy and tired so I thoguht i'd finish your script.
I still couldn't make head nor tail out of it, but the sheer volume and scope of it is very impressive. If you added some violence to it, I could see Tarantino filming it!!

It also reminded me of something Jack Kerouac or Hunter S thompson would write. I've only heard about their stuff not read it, but yours had that sort of flow to it.
I wouldn't label it stream-of-consciuosness either, because it was evident you had full control over everything at all times - well, except when your real self was pissed or stoned...
Great effort thoguh for the 7 weeks. I admire the immensity of it.

Cheers stevie.


Stevie, thank you so much for managing to tread through the deep waters.

My work is in trying to master the craft at many levels and really tend to the audience-- the audience, being so diverse and yet, so much the same and from a unified point. How do I manage it? I ask this often. I don't have an answer except to try.

If I could have just an ounce of formula and a pinch of structure against the madness, then perhaps I might have something.

My daughter bought me Garden of Eden tea for Chistmas from Teopia and a cast iron Tea pot. Will that help? Maybe. I'm drinking scotch at the moment...

Yes, Coffee in the morning. Tea in the afternoon. Scotch or Vodka in the evening.

If I'm up at 3 am like Rumley, I'll surely have the Zohar open in front of me.

And it's a long story, but it's something I just have to do. You know what it's like-- that possession to write and you just wish sometimes you could lose the obsession.

I will research the references you made of:

Jack Kerouac or Hunter S Thompson

I don't have the knowledge base that many of you have, but you are teaching me.

Thank you so much and if we make it together, just remember...

I owe you big time!!!

Sandra




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greg
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 1:09am Report to Moderator
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Hi Sandra,

I don't believe I've ever read anything from you, so this was fresh to my eyes.  Read this over three separate settings today and unfortunately I found it a little rough to get through.  I carefully followed along up until page 30 and by that point I felt a bit of frustration because there wasn't really a hook and there was too much going on.  I wanted to try and provide at least a little bit of constructive feedback, so I skimmed through the rest.  You've got an epic on your hands here but the problem is that there's just so much going on that I honestly just couldn't fully digest.  What I can tell from this piece is that you can write.  That's not the problem.  The problem is that the story needs more direction and it needs a hook.

You got a real Fantasy-Alice-In-Wonderland feel going on throughout.  It seemed that with every unorthodox trait this script had, there was another three or four immediately following it and the scripts has a lot of charm and clever humor.  But, again, there's just so much going on and I really do apologize that I can't go more in depth with feedback, but in a way these words alone could be valuable in the future.

As I said, it was beautifully written as I'd expect it to be from you since you put a lot of thought and heart into every post you contribute on this site, but I think it needs more focus and direction.  But hey, kudos on your first feature

Also...

Quoted from Sandra Elstree.

My work is in trying to master the craft at many levels and really tend to the audience-- the audience, being so diverse and yet, so much the same and from a unified point. How do I manage it? I ask this often. I don't have an answer except to try.



Your audience is the most important thing and each genre has a different target that they're appealing to.   YOUR audience for YOUR script is who you should be trying to please.  It would be nice to please everyone, but that will never happen.   A billion people might really like what you write but there will always be that one guy who's like "boo this sucks my ass and you suck too!"  If it's a family comedy, obviously your target audience are probably youth and their folks.  If it's a teen slasher, pretty self explanatory.  If it's a story about a political sex scandal, your audience are probably adults.

The point is you need to select who your target audience is.  You need to know who you're appealing to and who will enjoy your script.

I hope I was at least a little helpful.  Keep writing.

-Greg


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Sandra Elstree.
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Quoted from greg
Hi Sandra,

You got a real Fantasy-Alice-In-Wonderland feel going on throughout.  It seemed that with every unorthodox trait this script had, there was another three or four immediately following it and the scripts has a lot of charm and clever humor.  But, again, there's just so much going on and I really do apologize that I can't go more in depth with feedback, but in a way these words alone could be valuable in the future.

As I said, it was beautifully written as I'd expect it to be from you since you put a lot of thought and heart into every post you contribute on this site, but I think it needs more focus and direction.  But hey, kudos on your first feature

-Greg


Thank you Greg, I appreciate the feedback.

It is completely understood that I have too much going on. I just don't know how to handle it all except to let it get cold and then go to it again and thereby do more juggling.

I really wish that I could just follow "the plan" and forget it, but it's always a disaster. It's like earthquakes and tornadoes and, well, "whatnot". Really bad scene.  

But as much as it tremors and whirls, I must admit, I enjoy the characters that show up and destroy things. Often as not, they don't destroy, (they say) but rather (play around). They say, "What's the harm in that?"

What can I say when they say: "We've got a life and a plan! Don't treat us as imbeciles!" At that point I try and get a grip. But these guys are tough cookies. They're a force that I need to go to the table with. Maybe we can work a deal.

Thanks a great bunch!

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Brian M
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 3:00pm Report to Moderator
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I'm sorry but I couldn't get through this. I read up to page 50 and would have forced myself to finish if this was in the 90 page range but I nearly choked when I saw there was 87 pages to go!

I was lost very early on and was still lost by page 50 so I didn't see the point in continuing as I wouldn't have anything helpful to say at all.

All I can do is echo what others have already said. Focus. That's what this needs. There is some good in here but way too much crazy stuff going on everywhere else. I think you could cut more than a few pages from this, maybe a character or two aswell.

I think all the Simply stuff has to go. I know we all feel like we owe this site something in one way or another but you went way overboard here. I mean, SIMPLY GRAVEYARD? This all just added to the confusion. Another example...


Quoted from Script
EXT. VIRTUAL VANCOUVER - NIGHT TIME

Swishing around like superman,

Here is a gorgeous JEWISH SYNAGOGUE, placard reads:
SIMPLYJEWISH.

And there is a gorgeous CATHOLIC CHURCH, placard reads:
SIMPLYCATHOLIC

And down the street further is a quaint little coffee shop.

You might have guessed: Simplycoffee, but you’re wrong. Sign
says: ARISTOCRATIC COFFEE HOUSE, so there.


Again, completely lost me here. Sure, it reads well and might force a smile from some readers but for me, all it does is add another 1/3 of a page to an already long script.

I might be alone here but I do think taking out things like that and concentrating more on the story would make this a lot easier to get through.

On the plus side, I really liked your character description for Pseudos, and like I said before, there is some good in here. There's just so much madness surrounding it. I'm in no doubt cuts are needed. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

Well done for completing the challenge in only 5 weeks. That's impressive.

Brian
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 5:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Brian M
I'm sorry but I couldn't get through this. I read up to page 50 and would have forced myself to finish if this was in the 90 page range but I nearly choked when I saw there was 87 pages to go!

I was lost very early on and was still lost by page 50 so I didn't see the point in continuing as I wouldn't have anything helpful to say at all.

All I can do is echo what others have already said. Focus. That's what this needs. There is some good in here but way too much crazy stuff going on everywhere else. I think you could cut more than a few pages from this, maybe a character or two as well.

(...)

Again, completely lost me here. Sure, it reads well and might force a smile from some readers but for me, all it does is add another 1/3 of a page to an already long script.

I might be alone here but I do think taking out things like that and concentrating more on the story would make this a lot easier to get through.

On the plus side, I really liked your character description for Pseudos, and like I said before, there is some good in here. There's just so much madness surrounding it. I'm in no doubt cuts are needed. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

Well done for completing the challenge in only 5 weeks. That's impressive.

Brian


Thank you so much Brian for giving it a go. I agree with the length aspect. I just couldn't manage it, but I've been thinking about that a lot and thinking on splitting it into hours. If they can split atoms, why can't I split hours. Te-he.  

This is a script about virtuality; so I can't lose Simply. Nup. That would definitely be a no-no at this point and I might forget that I'm Sandra Watson and not Moira, the actress, playing Moira the grief counselor or something like that and heaven forbid, that would be Simply terrible and I'd need to go see Dr. Shrinkly Simpleton to put me into a past life regression or something.

Again, I really do appreciate anyone who takes the time here. And especially everyone who took this challenge upon themselves. I just finished reading Stevie's HEADLONG and I want to say, that this was such an entertaining read that I'm still in big time "happy mode" because of it.  

Thanks again and again people,

Sandra




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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: December 29th, 2009, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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OK, thanks to RV, I did some research and found out a little bit about Terry Gilliam.

He said:

There's so many film schools, so many media courses which I actually am opposed to. Because I think it's more important to be educated, to read, to learn things, because if you're gonna be in the media and if you'll have to say things, you have to know things. If you only know about cameras and 'the media', what're you gonna be talking about except cameras and the media? So it's better learning about philosophy and art and architecture [and] literature, these are the things to be concentrating on it seems to me. Then, you can fly...

I completely agree. Although I don't say don't go to film school; I say do what you love first. If film school is part of the picture, then do that, but there are more than a gazillion ways to experience life and life swallows film school like that whale swallowed Jonah. Oh my gawd! I just realized I'm in a whale!!!  

Sandra



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Niles_Crane
Posted: January 3rd, 2010, 5:53am Report to Moderator
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Hi Sandra

You obviously have a very unique vision as a writer. I feel personally that you need to find a way to harness that vision so that you can connect with your readers/viewers on a one to one basis - which is what writing (and any art) is about. At the moment, while you are very obviously talented (I was surprised to find you are so new to writing when you mentioned only starting out a couple of years ago), you are basically producing work that is only accessible by yourself, like a complex code that you have the key to and everyone else has to try and decode.

It does, of course, depend on what you wish to achieve as a writer - David Lynch seems quite happy in following his own path, for example, and you may feel the same. But if you wish to write for an audience, rather than just yourself, then in my humble view, you do need to pull your writing into the real world, bend your obviously vivid imagination around story concepts that we can also understand, so that we can join you on your journey rather than stand on the shore and watch you sail by

Be Seeing You

Simon
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: January 3rd, 2010, 10:54am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Niles_Crane
Hi Sandra

You obviously have a very unique vision as a writer. I feel personally that you need to find a way to harness that vision so that you can connect with your readers/viewers on a one to one basis - which is what writing (and any art) is about. At the moment, while you are very obviously talented (I was surprised to find you are so new to writing when you mentioned only starting out a couple of years ago), you are basically producing work that is only accessible by yourself, like a complex code that you have the key to and everyone else has to try and decode.

It does, of course, depend on what you wish to achieve as a writer - David Lynch seems quite happy in following his own path, for example, and you may feel the same. But if you wish to write for an audience, rather than just yourself, then in my humble view, you do need to pull your writing into the real world, bend your obviously vivid imagination around story concepts that we can also understand, so that we can join you on your journey rather than stand on the shore and watch you sail by

Be Seeing You

Simon


Thank you so much, Simon. I don't know whether things on the surface will appear to get better or worse as I go down the rabbit hole.

I shall continue to work and try my hardest to bring things to a level of understanding for others.

Sandra




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