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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Penny's Parlor by Jim Pagano - Comedy, Dramedy - Having survived a personal tragedy, a young women finds the strength through a somewhat unusual and controversial set of circumstances to redefine her life. 59 pages - pdf, format
I'm not sure the logline really hooks like it should. We don't have any sense of a protagonist or a time frame.
I'm guessing this should go in the series forum.
I see some formatting issues with the script but over all it looks fine.
I'm 12 pages in and so far nothing has happened. The story just seems to be another day. There is no hook to keep the view watching.
"Penny rolls her eyes, but then grabs one. She looks at it, then in the mirror. PENNY ’Run the day. Don’t let it run you’. She sighs, then puts it down. She spits out toothpaste then grabs another. Reading it she chuckles:"
Would that be a V.O. or is she talking with a mouth full of toothpaste?
Remember in the logline, Sell your script, don't tell your script.