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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  A Potbelly Kind of Summer Moderators: bert
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  Author    A Potbelly Kind of Summer  (currently 995 views)
Don
Posted: September 27th, 2015, 10:22am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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A Potbelly Kind of Summer by Samuel W. Smith - Comedy - A boy, his sandwich, and finding love in the oddest of lunch meats. Staten Island Summer meets Crazy Heart. 101 pages - pdf, format


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ChrisRamsdell
Posted: October 23rd, 2015, 12:02pm Report to Moderator
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Good premise.  Maybe add a few more laughable moments.  Keep up the good work.
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Erica
Posted: October 26th, 2015, 1:00am Report to Moderator
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Unless this is a shooting script I would loose the scene numbers.

I think the logline needs work, doesn't really hook, it's more of an add than a logline.


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