If you're not a fan of "Super Slacker", you're more than welcome to use "Not So Super". I've since changed the title of mine to "Supernetics".
What I usually do when I review scripts is point out little things such as spelling mistakes, little points in the script, etc. I know that I read over my scripts ten or more times sometimes and still miss a lot. It's always nice to have another set of eyes looking out for them. Then after all of that I'll give my thoughts of everything! Like I said, I did read it once already, and enjoyed it. So, here goes.
Page 2: You didn't introduce Tessa in all caps. And this may be a minor point, but the line "doesn't seem amused" could be better. I feel like you should give her some sort of facial expression to get that across. Or even take that part out completely, because on the next action line you have her giving Nick a dirty look. That would indicate to me she's not amused.
Page 2: Anytime in dialogue it's a good idea to write out any numbers. For instance, 11 should be eleven. Or even PG thirteen.
Page 6: Amy is in caps. Is she in the scene? I can see from how you wrote everything that she's not, so unless she's being introduced on screen physically you don't need her name in caps.
Page 7: Attractive woman should be in caps if she's on the screen. Actually, the first half of page 7 is a little confusing. Is the attractive woman Amy? And did she just wait around for twenty minutes?
Page 7: I feel like "Nick and Amy are naked in bed" would work better as "Nick and Amy lay in bed, naked"
Page 7: Same thing with the other attractive women. I know they're very minor characters, but I'd have them in all caps, especially if they're on camera by themselves for any amount of time.
Page 8: "Watching soccer on his phone". There's really nothing wrong with using an "ing", but in this case I think "He watches soccer on his phone" would be better script wise. I use "ing" on words as well, but I try to use it as little as possible. Sometimes it just flows better, sometimes it doesn't. In this case, I think you don't need to use it.
Page 8: "This may seem like a dream scenario for many men but as they all slumber, Nick is fidgeting". I don't think the dream scenario line is of any use here. This would be something that you'd put in a novel, but not in a script. The old adage "Show, don' tell" comes to mind. Perhaps something like "Nick fidgets in bed, while the three gorgeous women sleep peacefully around him". That single line would take care of the three action paragraphs you have. With regards to the nightmare line, I don't think it's necessary. We go right into the nightmare scene afterwards, and from his fidgeting, one would assume something like that is happening anyway... at least I would!
Page 10: "Sammy stampedes out with group of FRIENDS". Should that be "Sammy stampedes out with a group of FRIENDS"?
Page 11: Just a nit pick, but maybe you should re-arrange the order of your flashback. I'd put the German rave first, only since Germany is six hours ahead of Eastern Standard time.
Page 12: Is the Newscast clip a scene? Is the Anchor in the scene or is he off screen? Or is the picture of the terrorist the only thing being shown? The way it's played out in the script is that the Anchor is being shown. I feel like you're looking to just show the clip, without the Anchor in the scene. You've gotta make that clearer.
Page 12: Tessa - "You know this bigger than the car, Nick". Should be "You know this is bigger than the car, Nick"
Page 12: Tessa - "A professional. to help you deal with--". I'm not sure if you accidentally put the period in there, but if you did, to should be capitalized.
Page 14: Nick "So you're like priest then?". I think you're missing an "a".
Page 16: Is there a need for "Inside: polite chatter...?". You've already told us that the scene is happening inside with your slug line.
Page 17: I think you need a V.O. rather than a O.S. for the dialogue there. And the numbers in the dialogue again.
Page 17: "Tessa's is startled" should be "Tessa is startled"
Page 20: "He takes a SIP with a spoon. Needs salt." You say it needs salt here, but nowhere does it say that Nick actually puts any salt in it, or anything like that. Unless you have him physically put salt in whatever is cooking, there's no way the audience would know that it needs salt.
Page 23: There's a period missing at the end of Sammy's dialogue when he's singing along with his music.
Page 24: The scene where Nick tries the suit on is a little confusing. He's speaking off screen, but when she pulls the mirror out, he's there. I feel like what you're aiming for is to have him appear in the mirror. If that's the case, I'd take another look at that and see if you can re-word a few things to make it clearer.
Page 25: Dr. Light "So this anxiety you have. It's tied to you old job?". You should be your.
Page 27: Dialogue "100-thousand".
Page 28: "Nick's alien brain automatically and visually PROCESSES what it's seeing". How does this happen? It's just an awkward line that, if I was a film maker, I'd wonder how I was supposed to film that. Show me how Nick processes it with something more visual. And you do that in the next few lines with Nick's reaction. In my opinion, the first part of Nick processing everything isn't needed.
Page 29: "Nick's mental calculations show it's actually speeding". Again, kind of awkward. Take another look at that.
Page 30: This is one of those examples where I'd say using "ing" wouldn't be necessary. "Veins are popping in Nick's forehead". That could be written as "The veins in Nick's forehead pop". Know what I mean? It is cleaner and not as passive as using the "ing" in this instance. Or "It's not budging" could be "It doesn't budge". You get the point. I'll leave any more comments like that out from here on out.
Page 32: "Her father looks up in disbelieve then down at Nick". Disbelieve should be disbelief.
Page 33-34: The New Anchor is speaking twice, without any kind of action line between his dialogue. And in one dialogue block he's speaking on screen and in the next one he's speaking O.S. And there's a 2 in the dialogue.
Page 34: "Knocking down a second light poll". Poll should be pole.
Page 36: The reporters are never introduced, they just have speaking roles. And, you have some speaking O.S. at different points. I can infer what you're trying to do, but make it as clear as day when you're writing so there's no miscommunication about it.
Page 37: "A military bands warms up". No s on bands.
Page 38: "Stanford is mileas away wearing a motion capture suit". Mileas should be miles.
Page 41: In your action dialogue you say every male is wearing a hoodie, including a young kid. Wouldn't he be included in the every male? I think the every male wearing a hoodie line would suffice.
Page 46: "Gunfire and explosions as Nick is plays a video game".
Page 50: Cole should be coal.
Page 57: Mattison's dialogue should be in a V.O. rather than O.S.
Page 57: Nick's dialogue "Why are you so afraid is me?". I'm thinking is should be of.
Page 60: General's dialogue "Do all these buttons to the same thing?". To should be do.
Page 61 to 62: In my opinion, the call to the other room isn't needed. The joke was a good one in the scene before that. I think it may be a little over kill to keep it going with one more scene. Again, just my opinion on that one.
Page 65: Take another look at that slug line. It says what's happening is inside, but from the writing it appears to be outside.
Page 66: May I suggest a separate scene with Nick's home planet rather than just a line? Then you would have Zookri and Nick talking in V.O. rather than the O.S. Same thing at the bottom of the scene. Perhaps block all of those visions into one scene with the two speaking in voice overs. Just a suggestion.
Page 71: Pilot and passenger were never introduced, and they have speaking parts.
Page 72: Nick's dialogue "Really? Who are snapchatting right now?". I think that should be "you".
Page 72: You're missing a period at the end of the page.
Page 74: Buff Cosplayer dialogue "I think he might be PCP". Judging from Nick's reaction, I think you're missing "on" before PCP.
Page 77: You're missing an "a" in the General's dialogue at the top of the page.
Page 78: Is it day or night in the lecture hall? You didn't specify in your slug line.
Page 83: Stanford's dialogue, the = should be spelled out.
Page 85: You have a scene taking place in the fighter jet, yet you mention that the General is on the ground the general looks pained. If it's necessary to the scene, I'd say that would require a different scene all together even though it's very short.
Page 86: Nick hears. Describe what Nick hears rather than telling us he hears something.
From here I just skimmed to the end of it since I've read it before.
So, those are just some things in the script that you need to look over and touch up. The only reason I do this, and this is not a knock on you, is that because I find it hard when I'm reviewing my own work to notice any mistakes. Like I said, I read over my scripts many times and still find mistakes galore! I always liked when other people point them out to me, that way I can deal with them directly.
Go back and review your dialogue. Anytime you have numbers in there, write them out in their entirety.
As for the story itself; like I said, I enjoyed it. I'm a Superman fan, and obviously this is drawing a lot from Superman. There were some funny moments in there that I had a good chuckle over.
You use "ing" a lot, when it's not necessarily needed. I mentioned that in one of the comments. Generally in scripts, people stay away from "ing" as a rule. I, however, don't really follow that rule as sometimes using "ing" just flows better with what I'm trying to get across. But, you do it quite a few times when it's not needed at all. Refer to my comment for page 30 again for a better explanation for that. Just know when to use it, and when not to use it.
I think Nick is a good character. You get a good sense of how he's feeling and why he chooses to do what he does, and why he went away from being a hero. So, good job there.
As for the first scene, I think this has been mentioned in the discussion, I think the footage from the movie should all be shown at once rather than going back and forth. it does kind of slow it down.
When I read this yesterday, I sped through it. The story kept me interested and that's really what matters in the long run, in my humble. However, it does need to be tightened up. There were some times it was a little confusing with the voice overs and the off screens, and some of the descriptions. Take your time in going over that. Again, I could be completely wrong with the voice overs and off screens in the fact that you were doing exactly what you wanted to do. But, if the reader doesn't understand what you're trying to tell him/her, then there could be a problem. Make sure everything that you're writing is concise.
Again, good job. It kept me interested. A little predictable at times, but there's nothing wrong with that. If you can get engrossed in the story, then that's all that matters. And that's what happened with me