Quoted Text You point out it's hard to find a likeable character. That's intentional and the majority of the feedback I've received has noted this (even when it hasn't been a readers favorite thing, its evidently purposeful).

Hi Ben,

Ignore my previous quoted post, I'm trying to get this to work.

Frank

Hi Ben,

Quoted Text You point out it's hard to find a likeable character. That's intentional and the majority of the feedback I've received has noted this (even when it hasn't been a readers favorite thing, its evidently purposeful).

yeah, I was thinking about what you are saying, with the tone of the script, should've picked up on that. Good point.

Quoted text:
""I think you've misinterpreted or misread the scenes around Ishmael leaving his mum after the funeral. He's ditching her for Charlie because he's selfish; it's relatively uncomplicated. I'll take a second look at whether this can be more clear but no one else has had trouble with this conceit yet.""

From quoted text, I was thinking more bad things got piled onto Ishmael, implodes even more. I think it's clear the way it's written, just my interpretation was different than others.

Curious, why did you decide to section your scripts into Chapters? Any sequels?

Any pointers on how to reply with quoted text? I got it partially working, but can't get multiple quotes pasted in the dialog box.

All the best.

Frank

Hey, Ben.

Just an observation.
The logline posted on your website for "Slow Motion Car Crash" is really good ( i assume it's a logline). Why not use that for this thread?

Frank

No problem - I agree about the logline, I struggled to find a good one for this. Where did you see a better one? What website? I don’t remember putting this script anywhere else

I guess the chapters are just a stylistic choice and they help the timeline of the narrative. It’s a bit episodic. I’m considering in my rewrite a chapter called “epilogue” to wrap up some of the loose ends you pointed out.

Thanks again

Hi Ben,

I just clicked on the link, "All of my scripts here."
https://www.scriptrevolution.com/profiles/ben-clifford

One more point. I agree with you, the unfilmables I listed in my review probably weren't the best examples.

I'm not dead against unfilmables as I stated (go easy on them), specially in character descriptions, some unfilmables are perfectly okay.

Anyway.

Good luck.

Frank

I completely forgot I posted this on SR! Thanks for finding it. Agree that the SR logline is way more compact.

Anyway thanks again for digging this script up and talking to me about it, you’ve been really helpful and so thorough.