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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  ›  Unproduced Screenplay Discussion  ›  Comedy Scripts  ›  Wait Till Next Year Moderators: bert
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  Author    Wait Till Next Year  (currently 563 views)
Don
Posted: May 8th, 2021, 8:23am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Wait Till Next Year by Paul Knauer - Comedy, Family, Sports - His career stalling, a small-town radio play-by-play talent decides to lift the downtrodden town, and his career prospects, by calling the winless high school basketball team to a mythical championship. 102 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work


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eldave1
Posted: May 8th, 2021, 7:53pm Report to Moderator
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Very clever, Paul.

I read straight through - writing was excellent. Only thing I could offer as I thought Edwards offer to Lynn to leave town with him was a little early in their relationship.

Nice little story you have here. Very smooth read.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Warren
Posted: May 8th, 2021, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
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Has this changed much from when I read it?


Warren Duncan: Award-Winning Screenwriter

-- My Website

-- My IMDb

-- All That You Love - Dollar Baby
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 9th, 2021, 1:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
Very clever, Paul.

I read straight through - writing was excellent. Only thing I could offer as I thought Edwards offer to Lynn to leave town with him was a little early in their relationship.

Nice little story you have here. Very smooth read.


Thanks, Dave. Appreciate the comments.

I'll look and see if I can move that particular moment any.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 9th, 2021, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
Has this changed much from when I read it?


I can't remember exactly when I shared it with you... but, I don't think it's much different, if at all.

I've moved on to my next feature rather than go through another rewrite on this one.

I think this is at the "tweak around the edges phase." Definitely not worth another read for you.

And, if anyone else takes a gander, they could keep that in mind: notes like Dave's are what I'm hoping for. Anything too big at this point is unlikely to happen for now.

Thanks for asking, and for the earlier read!!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: May 10th, 2021, 9:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from PKCardinal


I can't remember exactly when I shared it with you... but, I don't think it's much different, if at all.

I've moved on to my next feature rather than go through another rewrite on this one.

I think this is at the "tweak around the edges phase." Definitely not worth another read for you.

And, if anyone else takes a gander, they could keep that in mind: notes like Dave's are what I'm hoping for. Anything too big at this point is unlikely to happen for now.

Thanks for asking, and for the earlier read!!


No problem. I look forward to reading your next one


Warren Duncan: Award-Winning Screenwriter

-- My Website

-- My IMDb

-- All That You Love - Dollar Baby
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