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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Running Free Moderators: bert
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  Author    Running Free  (currently 1538 views)
Posted: November 4th, 2007, 2:57pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Running Free by Geoff O'Callaghan - Drama - Young Craig Watson is snatched off a rural road by George Bender, a seriously disturbed psychotic. A couple of weeks later, George decides to kill Craig, who pleads for his life by becoming George's son. Although seriously abused, Craig lives with George leading an apparently normal life. When Craig becomes too old, George attempts to replace Craig with another boy, Robbie. Realising the FBI is closing in, George decides to kill Robbie, but Craig and the police rescue him. 58 pages - pdf, format

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Posted: November 19th, 2007, 3:52pm Report to Moderator

Jacksonville, FL
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Because of the multiple formatting errors, I couldn't get past the first two pages.  Typically, writers do not tell producers or directors how to make the film, a cast of characters is not included, nor is a treatment.

If you want reads, I would suggest a basic screenwriting book.  The Screenwriting Bible is my favorite.  I would love to read this story in correct format.
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Posted: November 19th, 2007, 5:31pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

My UZI Weighs A Ton

Northern Hemisphere
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Also, you need to go over your logline again. Loglines are supposed to teasers. You just told us the entire story (which actually sounds quite interesting), so now there's no real point to reading the script I'm affraid.

Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Posted: November 19th, 2007, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
Been Around

San Francisco, CA
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The logline is supposed to tell you who the protagonist and antagonist are, and their conflict. Because their conflict is each other, in a well crafted story.

"To overcome to evil Lord Meanie, Good Guy must find three precious stoned hidden deep in the Bad Guy Mountains."
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