Don't Judge a Book by its Cover by Annalisa Blake - Family - {no logline} 47 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

This is an adorable story. I like Charlie. She is versatile character that belongs on her own episode of Undercover Boss.

The writing has some big problems, but they will go away as you get more experience. The biggest is that it is not in the standard screenplay format. This is important if you want anybody to read this. I know that I read it, but I don't count. I find joy in reading the work of new writers. I am an exception. If you write this in the standard format, it will be easier to read. It will be easier to attract readers who will give you better advice than I can.

As for learning the standard format, you can start by reading the work of others. You can also read the comments people post with those stories and learn from their mistakes. Also, by reading the work of others and leaving comments of what you liked, didn't like, or ask questions, you will attract readers willing to help.

I also strongly suggest that you obtain software written specifically for writing screenplays. There are different programs available and easy to use. They also have the ability to import text so you don't have to rewrite this from scratch. You will have to reformat the document which is a lot less work, but it will take only a couple of hours. Writing a screenplay in Microsoft Word in the standard format is possible but brutal. Setting your margins correctly takes time and the widow/orphan issues are frustrating. Do a search online. There are free programs available.

While I loved the artwork on your title page, you need contact information. While you are a new writer now, you won't be forever. Someone someday may want to produce your work. Your e-mail is all that is needed. DON'T put your phone number or address. If by chance you are underage, forget about the contact information. A producer can contact you here. Wait until you are older.

You need to work on your punctuation. In your dialog, you need punctuation the same way you need it when you write action text. Also, you have a lot of spelling errors and typos.

Lastly, you need a log line. It is hard to come up with one sometimes, but it is important. It sells your story to readers. What I would suggest for this story would be:

A 28-year-old woman who owns a fortune 500 goes undercover to investigate a business prior to acquiring it. In her investigation, she falls in love and exposes a corrupt family.

It needs to be short and enticing. They should read like the movie descriptions on a cable guide.

So welcome aboard.