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Congrats Alex. You're script is fantastic and I really hope it gets produced. Would love to see the finished product.
Thanks Don and Pia for running this thing. It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. Had to move TWICE. This OWC was a nice distraction, though I regret not reading more entries.
I'm very proud of my entry. It was fun to write, even if the subject matter is a bit grim.
Congratulation to the winners. And that would be all of us for getting free, abundant feedback on our writing. Well done to those who got high scores. Well done to those who took time to give others feedback. And we are certainly forever grateful to Don and Pia for spending their precious time on allowing us to have fun while improving our craft.
Special thanks to everyone who gave me feedback. Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
We will meet again in October. And I think I'm getting the hang of this. The competition is fierce but I won't be taking any hostages next time. Bring your A game. Third time the charm.
Just got back form my colonoscopy and am now going to bed. But before: Alex - great job! Your script was great and am pleased to see it finish on top. You got chops, dude.
Thanks to all who commented on mine. Much appreciated!
writing needs a tidy, like most, but forget that. story is everything.
wonderful choice of timing, location, aspirations etc very clear, very dense with tension. we know where we are, we know what it is happening, never lost
like every script this can be tidied, but i EXPECT this to be filmed
someone pick up this script
short, simple, but by far the best i have read.
i predict a winner.”
That’s one thing I got right
Well done.
Filming wise, I think there are multiple options, it will be interesting to see what happens.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Thought I'd address something that came up a bit. My somewhat divisive writing style. Although my descriptive style is the same for features, I don't constantly break sentences up etc. That would be a bit mental. But it's something I do slip into when I'm writing an action scene/set piece. I just like the the way it visualises and paces the action.
Wouldn't recommend anyone else doing it. It's mine! But I think bringing something new to the table as far as format/style goes can be a good thing. As long as it works. Some will always hate it but one thing's for sure. People will know a script by you when they read it. So much so, I'm pretty sure I'll be spotted if/when I enter again. Unless the next challenge is dialogue only ...
Alex!!!! Congrats, a well deserved win, and a ridiculously high rating too. Not bad at all. Well done to the rest of you too, and to Dave on his colonoscopy (hope you're alright).
Another bloody runner's up/writer's liked placing!!!! That's 4 out of the 8 OWC's I've flipping entered, always the bloody bridesmaid...can't grumble though as that was a ridiculously good standard of work this time round and those beautiful little scripts above my scribbles certainly deserve to be there.
Thought I'd address something that came up a bit. My somewhat divisive writing style. Although my descriptive style is the same for features, I don't constantly break sentences up etc. That would be a bit mental. But it's something I do slip into when I'm writing an action scene/set piece. I just like the the way it visualises and paces the action.
Wouldn't recommend anyone else doing it. It's mine! But I think bringing something new to the table as far as format/style goes can be a good thing. As long as it works. Some will always hate it but one thing's for sure. People will know a script by you when they read it. So much so, I'm pretty sure I'll be spotted if/when I enter again. Unless the next challenge is dialogue only ...
Dialogue only - think we have a challenge.
On the style of this script. When I read it my thought was that it was Drumbeat Style (I will copyright that term). i.e., I am reading/taking in each line is a separate, distinct beat each and each has it's own depth (volume).
e.g., this:
Quoted Text
GASPING panic as pain brings her eyes into focus. They see -
A SPLINTERED BONE protruding from her shin. It’s the summit of a heap of shit she’s in. But base camp is -
Line one, I see panicked eyes (beat)
Line two - I see the cause, - a splintered bone (BEAT)
Convention might dictate that you write it like:
GASPING panic as pain brings her eyes into focus on a SPLINTERED BONE protruding from her shin.
And that would have been less effective in my view as I am taking in those two separate beats (her panic and the broken bone) as one - with no time lapse. Which is not what you intended me to do.
So, yeah - for me it was a great use of writing style for that story. I could not get through a feature (it would become tedious) and you already indicated you would not use it throughout one - but for passages here and there - very effective.
On the style of this script. When I read it my thought was that it was Drumbeat Style (I will copyright that term). i.e., I am reading/taking in each line is a separate, distinct beat each and each has it's own depth (volume).
e.g., this:
Line one, I see panicked eyes (beat)
Line two - I see the cause, - a splintered bone (BEAT)
Convention might dictate that you write it like:
GASPING panic as pain brings her eyes into focus on a SPLINTERED BONE protruding from her shin.
And that would have been less effective in my view as I am taking in those two separate beats (her panic and the broken bone) as one - with no time lapse. Which is not what you intended me to do.
So, yeah - for me it was a great use of writing style for that story. I could not get through a feature (it would become tedious) and you already indicated you would not use it throughout one - but for passages here and there - very effective.
Yes that’s pretty much it. And when you watch An action scene, some shots are all linked together so fluidly, full stops just seem too disjointed. That’s how my tiny mind sees it anyway.
Alex!!!! Congrats, a well deserved win, and a ridiculously high rating too. Not bad at all. Well done to the rest of you too, and to Dave on his colonoscopy (hope you're alright).
Another bloody runner's up/writer's liked placing!!!! That's 4 out of the 8 OWC's I've flipping entered, always the bloody bridesmaid...can't grumble though as that was a ridiculously good standard of work this time round and those beautiful little scripts above my scribbles certainly deserve to be there.
Roll on the next one, really enjoyable.
Cheers Don and Pia and well done everyone.
Hey cam - Two really decent scripts - I’m impressed at being able to do both in a week. You really have the chops, and if you recall, I loved your Mother Nature joke one.
I believe there is a skill to wining a OWC. And not one to underestimate. But it exists.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr