This is based on my Horror Short "Bee-El"


"A young girl befriends something that’s inside her closet. But, which one is the real monster? "


I would love feedback

I think it fits.

I love the logline.

I'm iffy on it. It's got a hook, but it feels incomplete. I see the main character (young girl) and I see the inciting incident (finds a monster in the closet). But what I don't see is a goal or need, and it's blurry what the stakes may be.

Also -- and this is just my own personal quirk so do with it what you will -- I'm not a fan of log lines presented as questions. At best they feel evasive; at worst, condescending. The reader doesn't need you to ask their question for them.

A log line's purpose is to intrigue. I'm not so much intrigued by this as mildly flummoxed. Give me more to go on.

My two cents.