Monster Man...

Let that name sink in for a second with ya?  This is the movie that ask us to believe in absurdity, rash behavior, erratic actions and theft.  Theft of every slasher, killer, horror and suspense movie ever made.

It has some of the most outlandish dialogue you've ever heard in your life.  Michael Davis, writer and director of this fine pile of **** should be blacked balled from making even home movies of his families birthday parties.  He's that bad.

We follow a tried and true best friend duo on the way to a
wedding, we hear soooo much about but never see, and hear more so about a girl, whom... we never meet.  This is all nice and great, cause... it has it's fair share of funny moments along the way, not on the intent of the writer/director mind you... cause it's so out in space it can't find an elliptical path back home.

This movie will make you scratch your head, more than the kid in your 3rd grade class who had lice all year long.  Then, they tie it all together by trying to make you swallow a hook, line and sinker story of Witch Craft, Devil worship and of course "STRANGE FAMILY WHO SEEM TO CLOSE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD"

It's silly... The movie is silly.  It's not worth a rental or even this long of a write up.  I'm just in the writing mood at the moment.  

Had I had a check list on my coffee table while watching this flick, I could have went right down it like a butter knife thru hot butter.

Sexy Hitchhiker girl, who's in on the whole scheme -- Check!

Wild and Crazy free spirited buddy -- Check!

Down to earth, conservative buddy -- Check!

Love interest whom we never meet, but dwell upon -- Check!

Killer who looks like leather face and acts like him -- Check!

Brother who needs human body parts sewed on -- Check!

A small weirdo town full of... you guessed it weirdos -- Check!

Mindless killing for no rhyme or reason -- Check!

I could go on and on and on... but... I won't.  This movie
should not be seen or bought.  If you get it as a gift from
your grandma who knows you like horror movies, so she goes out and gets you just any old pile of ****, throw it back in her face.

The most absurd over the top thing about this movie, aside me even picking it up and putting it in my dvd player, is the fact that the killer does all his dirty work in a MONSTER TRUCK.  He, get this, runs people over and takes their legs and arms and such... I know... it's "SILLY"

It's a rip off of -- TCM, The Duel, TCM 2, Ft13th, ANOES,
Halloween, Black Car, The Hearse, and so so many more.

Me and Brandi laughed for a good while after it was finished at some of the mindless things that happened in this film.  The funniest being when the Sexy hitchhiker beds down the "Virgin" dork buddy and get this... while she's doing it... she starts to talk like ****ing YODA...!  YODA, from Starwars... I couldn't for the life of me understand why.  It was one of the moments where you backtrack and watch it again and again and again, just to see if you can understand why they did it.

It was hands down the craziest damn thing I ever heard in a
movie. Bar none!

Well, I'm off to the gym so... thanks for hangin' around and listening to me.  

2 out of 10

It WAs actually intended as a horror/comedy.