Wow. Really deep and almost disturbing stuff. I really liked it. Do you have anymore like this one? If so, I would really love to read them.

The first sentence is weird. Your wall of denial can be seen in the eye, eh? I see some mucus. Your mixing a few metaphors here, be careful.

The rhyme scheme is really random and it hurts the flow.  When I read it aloud I get stuck on that 2nd stanza - it is hard to make the transition from 2nd and 3rd line work.(The beat of your heart is deadened/You weaken yourself with selfish words) They just don't seem to go together, I have to give it a pause almost like a stanza break.  

You also have competing refrains that take away from each other.

"You let the world wound you, you let the world hurt you" <- redundant.

And I'm not a fan of the last 4 lines.  Or ... at the end of poems.  Be bold.  Use a period.

With a little work this could be a nice form poem.  Theme is a bit dreary, but it works.

Dethan

I know. I said your rhyme scheme was random. Heroic, Ballad, heroic, unrhymed, ect. You tossed it all in.  I was pointing out the harsh d's followed by the soft y sounds.  It gives me pause.  Not that you cannot read it aloud.  It just is hard to do when you don't know it is there.

Dethan
  

I'm not good with poetry but I thought it was very good and very emotional.