Hi Sara,
I've been reading your script just now and I must tell that I'm really confused.
what about making our heroes "likeable"? i mean, i've read 25 pages and there is nothing happening what would made them interesting. to be honest with you, I don't feel anything about TARA or KATIE. I like PAUL, though... I'm not sure why, by there is something intriguing about him...
but still, nobody "saves the cat", help old lady to cross the road or at least do something spontaneus and crazy. I thought that "intresting character" should be the base of every script, and now I'm reading that you have won the contest (which is great! WOW! I just can't wait  till I will be able to announce something like that. congratulations!!!)
what is going on? can you explain to me how does it work?
piotr

did i mentioned that I'm from Poland and I'm not fluent in English yet?

Hi Process,
I was rather limited with my heros as it was co-written and I had to comprimise on certain things.

The contest is based on an idea or screenplay.  If it is selected then their team goes over it.  They loved the concept, premise, synopsis, and outline that I had presented.  The one who has read the script loved it.  

There were some things that I wanted to do wtih it, but I couldn't because it was co-written, which is unfortunate.  The state it is in now is merely because I convinced my co-writer to let me add them.  It was quite the tug of war battle over story plots and such.

As for actions I was limited time wise, I had to get to the point of the story which doesn't leave a whole lot of room for side things.  We tried to depict their personalities as best as we could.  Katie is a fairly withdrawn personality type and since Tara and Katie do everything together, that limits what Tara can do.

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it very much.

hi Sara,
its not that I didn't enjoy it. Its just makes me angry sometimes when people related with the industry (I'm thinking about polish industry, i do not know anybody from any other countries industry yet talking about screenplays things like: nobodys gonna belevie in it, this is to impropable and you go to the movies a week later and you see things even more stupid and impropable... like one scene in my script, originally there was some fireworks in the polish mountains and I got a note regarding this scene from producer that this is highly impropable and other note regarding my characters that there is nothing on the beginning of the script which makes them likeable and all those stuff...
thats why I wrote my previous post..
actually, Im trying to write this in english right now, with some changes, so hopefully you could read it and give meyour opinion about it...
hows things with your career?
all the best!
piotr

Ah okay.  Likable characters are a plus, but they don't have to be.  Engaging characters are important, and a story that draws you in is as well.  As for things like fireworks, I say go for it, look at Lord of the Rings, I am sure a lot of those were thought of as impossible.  You never know until you try right?

As for my career, I am currently revising a treatment for The Standoff that will be read by financing companies (scary!) for possible financing.  It's interesting working with an indie producer in that respect, I am part of the process they have to go through to get a film made.

I just sent off a treatment of Dragon Soul to an annimation company who was contracted to annimated Prince of Egypt and other such features.  The two top producers/annimators are rather nice.  I hope it gets placed with them, if not it will be sent to Midway for possible game development, or perhaps both.

Then just writing and revising.  I have submitted my book Town Curfew to Baen Books for possible publication, if it is not accepted there, it will be sent to Tor for consideration.

I am dappling in some other fields, getting a feel for the other side.  I have/am entering a few other contests as well.

Thats about it.

Oh and the only thing I can think of about the improbable occurance of fireworks in the mountains is the fear of avalanche.  The sound would probably cause one.

thats what happens just after it, actually
"...the lifes and dreams of three people - retired and
unfulfilled rockjock, his young, naive girlfriend and
his mordibly ambitious pupil - are shattered when
their secrets turns, during a forced trip trough the
mountains, into an destructive avalanche of blood and
violence..."

as about your career: that is so cool!!! good luck and good night...

all the best once again
piotr

oh, you have mentioned Lord of the Rings, but can I compare things from fantasy world with my movie which plot takes place in our world? its copletely different genre... but on the other hand we've got mission impossible... which is... yeah... IMPOSSIBLE

anyway, hopefully soon I'll put my script here, and then I will get some more opinions...

piotr

Perhaps it is then that the producer didn't feel people would be stupid enough to set them off.  If you want that scene I would consider an alterior, like a bunch of kids sneak up there and do it, kids do stupid enough things, because they are pushing boundaries and the things theya re told not to do, they want to do because they have to experience some consequences on their own.  And since they are young they often feel invincible and they they would be able to escape it unscathed if they did cause one.

You definitely want to stick with logic because you are asking the reader to suspend their disbelief for the period of the movie.  The more improbably or illogical your movie is, the less they will be able to do that, thus lowering their belief.

Fantasy and sci-fi get tons of leeway as they are make believe from the getgo.  What I meant is visual and actions and scenes.  A lot of those would have been impossible not long ago because of lack of technology.

I would strongly suggest not comparing a fiction based on reality to a fiction based on fantasy.  Otherwise people would get the wrong idea and would expect fantasy in your script.  

I would instead compare it to movies with the same themes, such as:

Vertigo meets Hostage in this deadly thriller that exposes the basest of human nature.

It may or may not work for yours in particular, but it should give you a rough idea.  I was struggling to think of a movie that has people with secrets, I'm sure there are hundreds, but for the life of me I can't think of any.

Let me know when you post it.

Sara

thanks a lot,

do you have a logline for your whispers from the ashes?

just curious

you think that a necessery thing to figure before you start writing? a logline, killer tag or what is it about in one sentence?

take care

I have a tagline, logline, short synopsis, medium synopsis, long synopsis, and a treatment.  I didn't do any of these things until after I had written.

I feel its only neccary to have that before hand if you are planning on pitching it before it is completed and this should only be attempted once you have roven yourself to the industry and after you have made some good sales.

How you think also makes a difference, some people start out with a logline and write from it, I am not anything like that.  I start out with a rough synopsis, and develop an organic outline from it and then write the rough draft in under a week.  Then revise and edit and revise and edit.  I find when I have an organic outline I write much faster and closer to the finished product then when I just start writing and make it up as I go along.

Basically, develop your own style, and do what works for you.