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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Inserting Paragraphs Moderators: George Willson
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 9:16am Report to Moderator
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May not be the best subject heading... Doesn't seem right but one of the other mods can modify that if they can think of a better one haha

Anyway, I was sitting here writing and got to a scene where I need to insert a paragraph from a newspaper.

Would I just write...

Insert Paragraph

Then right here, write the message/paragraph here.


That is the way I have seen it done but seldom do i actually see screenplays do that (SimplyNoir had one with a letter and I used the same formula in my SS script) but is that how you do it in a real screenplay.


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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dogglebe
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 9:29am Report to Moderator
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How about this?

INT.  KITCHEN

BOB sits at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper.  He slowly brings a mug of coffee to his lips, preoccuppied with the paper.

INSERT

The horoscropes.

Gemini:  Be careful!  That coffee you are about to drink is bitching hot!

BACK TO:

Bob spits the coffee all over the newspaper.  He puts down the coffee and gently pats his lips with his fingers.  He's in pain.



Phil
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Zombie Sean
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 9:31am Report to Moderator
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Yeah that's how I usually write close ups on objects like pictures or newspapers.

By the way, Phil, that example you have is awesome. I love it.

Sean
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Mr.Z
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 12:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Old Time Wesley
but is that how you do it in a real screenplay.


If by real screenplay you mean a shooting script, you already received good advice. But if you're writing on spec, don't use the insert at all. Do as much as you can to leave technical terms out of your story; they drag the reader away from it.

And the "insert" is the easiest one to avoid:

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Jack, lying on the couch, pics up the newspaper and looks at it.

The headline reads: "SERIAL KILLER ON THE LOOSE".

He puts the paper down; he looks worried.


This is, of course, still an insert. But by not calling it by the technical term, you avoid making the reader to go through the useless and not related to the story term "INSERT" and his useless cousin "BACK TO SCENE".

The scene reads faster and better. In specland "less" is always "more".


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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 12:39pm Report to Moderator
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I need a longer paragraph than just the headline though. That's the main problem.

It's about 5 lines worth of writing but key to the screenplays further progression.


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Mr.Z
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 12:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Old Time Wesley
I need a longer paragraph than just the headline though. That's the main problem.


The example I gave you applies to headlines, paragraphs, road signs, or whatever you want.

Your main problem here (sorry to go a bit off-topic) is that 5 lines of written text is quite a big chunck to have the audience looking at it for so long.

I would seriously consider going for something more visually dynamic. Like having your character walking down the street reading the paper while what he's reading plays as a V.O.



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Old Time Wesley
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 3:34pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, the problem there is none of the characters are in the scene.

At the end of the day if I have to I can always make it a voice over of the character who wrote it.


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Rob S.
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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Wesley, if it's only one scene, I would do the insert like Phil did.  I don't think it's a big deal as long as what you want is there.  The format is less of a problem than what you're actually going to do.  Are you expecting the audience to read the paragraph or what?  If you make it into a voice over, it could be a long voice over.  Of course, I really don't know what the context is or anything like that.  Do what you feel like and if it doesn't work, try something else.


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