sorry if this sounds like a noobish question, but i havnt really done any screenplay writing before, and so i was wanting to ask you a question:

in a screenplay, how do you go about describing background noise?

like background chatter you hear everywhere, but you cant really tell what is being said?

and if anyone needs the context, i'm using a series of shots to describe what happens in the opening scene, but i dont really want any specific words to be said. just background noise

if you understand  

People AD-LIB amongst themselves in the background.


Phil

Daniel walks through whatever scene he is talking about.

Incessant, indecipherable CHATTER fills his ears.

thanks for both of your responses

if that sort of thing confuses me, what's gonna happen later on?

Quoted from Daniel ...what's gonna happen later on?

That's what this board is for.  Some of us have a hard time shutting up.  In fact --

Here is another example for you that I just remembered -- the noisy, chatter-filled opening scene from a wonderfully under-rated short script called "Trappings":


INT. HIGH SCHOOL LUNCHROOM – DAY

Chaos, as generated by teenagers.  The most chaotic kind there is.

Perpetual motion.  The deafening buzz of chatter, scraping chairs, and the occasional girlish shriek of laughter.



Does that sound noisy?  It's supposed to, anyway.  Sound can be a very important part of your story, so try not to overlook that aspect.  It's easy to forget and concentrate only on the visual.

Quoted from bert That's what this board is for.  Some of us have a hard time shutting up.  In fact -- Here is another example for you that I just remembered -- the noisy, chatter-filled opening scene from a wonderfully under-rated short script called "Trappings": INT. HIGH SCHOOL LUNCHROOM – DAY Chaos, as generated by teenagers.  The most chaotic kind there is. Perpetual motion.  The deafening buzz of chatter, scraping chairs, and the occasional girlish shriek of laughter. Does that sound noisy?  It's supposed to, anyway.  Sound can be a very important part of your story, so try not to overlook that aspect.  It's easy to forget and concentrate only on the visual.

yes, it does. i like that example

although, it is in the whole opening scene that is filled with background noise.
it's on a bus, wee see the main character get on a bus with her friends, sit down, talk for a bit (it is that talking that is classed as background noise). then the main character gets off the bus, and the bus explodes in the background as it is driving away

sorry, double post :-s

ok, i've finished writing the opening scene. it includes a modified example given by bert (thank you bert), and a series of shots.

---

FADE IN:
EXT. BUS STOP - DAY
Incessant, indecipherable CHATTER begins.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
A)     Woman walking onto a bus, followed by 3 friends
B)     They sit down at the back of the lower deck of the bus, with one of them sitting next to a man holding a backpack to his chest
C)     They begin talking among themselves; with the woman sitting next to him repeatedly look at him with anxiety.
D)     The bus stops, and 3 people get off the bus
E)     The women continue to talk among themselves
F)     One of the women gets off the bus, looking at the man holding the backpack
G)     She steps off the bus and walks in the opposite direction to how the bus is travelling

Incessant, indecipherable CHATTER ends.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
A)     As she is walks away and the bus drives off, the bus explodes into flame. She is thrown forward by the force of the explosion
B)     She drags herself to her feet, staring at the burning bus, screaming in horror with tears rolling down her face; as she sees flames dominate the sky and wreckage fall to the ground.

---

constructive critisism welcomed and very much appreciated

You don't need to letter (or number) scenes.  Just put a space between each one.

My script, The Burnout, starts out with a montage scene.  Take a look, if you'd like.


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe You don't need to letter (or number) scenes.  Just put a space between each one. My script, The Burnout, starts out with a montage scene.  Take a look, if you'd like. Phil

the template i use does it automatically. is it a mistake to use letters in a series of shots?

and thanks for the reference, i'll take a look

the one thing i was worried about was the level of detail. dod i go into too much detail in the shots, or was it too little, or just right?

You descriptions could be a little tighter, but you have enough detail to them.


Phil

ok, i've taken all of your ideas into acount, and i've posted the modified scene in the WIP section

thanks for your help so far

Reading what you have I have a few thoughts.

First, what you have can be just as easily written as lines of description as opposed to a SERIES OF SHOTS, which is technically written correctly.

Second, You actually don't need to say there is incessant chatter. The fact that you have characters in a busy location will understandably preclude that the chatter exists.

You also don't need to indicate the chatter ends. Once the character leaves the bus, that is lso kind of obvious. If you want silence, you can actually write SILENCE, though that might also be obvious. Be careful not to write anything that is painfully obvious. The fewer the words, the better.

thanks for the tips George

i've removed the series of shots, which makes it look better on the script itself

and if i say that they walk onto a full bus, or a packed bus, instead of saying that the chatter begins and ends, would that make it seem better?

it's just with it being my first film script, i want to try and get it right, so get the advice i can...

Quoted from Daniel and if i say that they walk onto a full bus, or a packed bus, instead of saying that the chatter begins and ends, would that make it seem better?

I'd write that there's chatter on the bus. Personally everytime I go on a bus people tend to  look straight ahead and just keep to themselves. It's important if it's part of the scene because a person like me might interpet a bus as being quiet.

You don't need to say that the chatter ends if it stops when she gets off the bus, something like that can go unsaid and people will work it out.