Yeah, the dialogue twisting worked for me because I know I suck at dialogue and I was shooting it. I'm sure if someone else had it, they'd have a different way of doing it, but you're also right in that though I may have shot on flick that way, we also have to be writers and toil over every word. There were several times I made them stick to the script because I wanted lines a certain way. And there were some other times when they did lines different in different takes which made cutting some scenes together just hell. Sticking to the script is the most ideal.

Yes, Sandra, I do feel that there is something here worth holding on to which is why I'm not just throwing it all out. I know part of the character twisting was for Elliott's idea of the story, but naturally, I can't just blame the other guy. After all, I wrote the actual script. But I do find it interesting that one thing that kept you going was Kelsey's tale being left up in the air. I'll have to keep that in mind and leave other things up there as well, so you're not just looking for one resolution.

And Dreamscale, the best characters had a life before the movie and should have an idea of where they'll be if they survive the movie. I got some complaints on a horror script once because I spent a lot of time on two characters that were hacked five pages later. People were getting attached. But those characters were people who had aspirations for their lives if some psycho hadn't stuck a tree stake through them. It's always important to keep those lives outside the plot in mind and treat these people like people. People, as a rule, always live in the past, present, and future. They thrive on their experiences, deal with their situations, and hope for a future better than where they are now.

I have little doubt that the Revised version will be vastly different and vastly better.

Oh yeah, and I imagine slabby appreciates the shout out for The Big Fade...

Quoted from George Willson . But those characters were people who had aspirations for their lives if some psycho hadn't stuck a tree stake through them. ...

Isn't that the way it always works out?  You have dreams and aspirations and the WHAM tree stake right through you.

Hi George,

I liked your reasoning behind the way you wrote this script.  

Nevertheless, I still think a rewrite from the beginning to the battle scene will dramatically change the scope of this script towards the end.

If you make Brad and Alex just associates who have never been friends.

A shot at the beginning showing Brad leaving the scene where a girl is unconscious with perhaps a used needle next to her.  To give Brad a cover story.

Brad leaves to go to his dealer who in turn is paid to help him out as he's been out and needs his homework for the next day.

The pyramid line.  I understand why you've wrote this even without the explanation.  But it feels really shallow.  More suited to a comedy than a serious drama.

The watch.  Not sure if anybody has mentioned this as I've skimmed through the posts (sorry).  But if Laura retains the watch in the rewrite.  And if she remains unconscious.  She'll be examined head to toe.  The doctors will find she's been abused.  Plus, it's very likely to have skin scrapings under her finger nails from Brad.  Also, the watch would have to be a unisex watch, and as Brad is captain of the football team.  I can imagine a huge chunky watch, not suited for a girl to wear.

If this place is in a small town, I think DNA testing maybe out of the question.  But if possible, can the state pick this tab up or some sort of department?

The drugs at the beginning can explain Brad's change of personality and so the mirror scenes.  Brad will have to develop typical traits found with drug users half-way through the script.

I also found Alex to be very similar to the character out of America Beauty.  The one with the camera who's also a drug dealer.

Anyway, I think a detective will have to come into it intermittently.

All the best, and I won't be put off reading any other scripts of yours.  A clean slate from the start, always.



Javier