I agree Pia (wow, that's like the 3rd time I've agreed with you...I'm even agreeing with George!).  I may not personally think the "ending" chosen, is the best ending out there, but it does somehow fit the "feel" of the script.  It definitely goes further in terms of the campy, goofball aspect, but doesn't come across completely as "WTF?".

Where are all the other peeps in Script Club?  I'm getting the feeling this is the George, Pia, and Jeff citique panel.

C'mon people!  Help us out here!  Capt. Cornie deserves more feedback, and this script is so off the beaten path, it should be ripe for wonderful discussions both pro and con.

OK, I feel better...are we still on story/plot/structure?  Sorry if I veered off course.

I'm pushing to finish this as fast as I can.  i'm on page 40 and like it.

So while I don't have the time at the moment (right before going to bed here) to really get into it, I do think we've begun to veer into the character part of the script and whether the characters took real proactive journeys, or just meandered along at the whim of the screenwriter. Did anyone get anything out of the events that they really didn't survive in the end or were they just as pathetic at the end as at the beginning? Every character needs a journey of some kind whether it's major or not, and the lead should really grow during the course of the story. The lead is easily Cameron here but does Felicity lead too much? Kobol is the antag, but he seems to have minions as well. What is their purpose? Do they contribute to Kobol's own journey as the antag or are they just filler for the writer's amusement?

Oh, the ponderings...

And slabby, the ship is sailing day by day... You'd better hurry...

Quoted from Dreamscale But their world was simply that of Kobal's imagination, and basically, a way to move his story/plot forward, and show how hapless and maybe even stupid humans are.  I think that was part of the humor Kobal was after in his movie.

This is true. It's showing the frivolous means that humans use to fix a problem.

What I'd still like to see though, as George pointed out early on, is a more vigorous attempt of our humans "to try" to solve their dilemma.

Personally, I like the idea of Kobal backing off at the end- only because he's ready for another game later. He just needs some time to think and plan a new strategy. What would amuse the dear fellow?

That's what I think. Plan on working this one over for maybe another year and in the meantime, begin the strategy for a Demon Beach 2.

I think it's definitely worthy of the time.

Sandra

I just want to say that I've read the recent comments and I understand the feelings behind them all and I think they all have a justification.

Remember the movie Pay it Forward? I loved that movie and hated the end. Yes, I would change that one, but it doesn't mean that sad endings aren't warranted.

But in this case, I didn't feel that it was a "sad" ending. On the contrary, I saw the humor and realness in it.

What I don't like about the ending has already been stated and examined much better than I could have done by Dreamscale and Pia and George.

Some of the comments do reflect a lack of "tying up" of things, but that's already been explained as "it's Kobal's" fault. I HAVE TO digress here. (Really sorry I don't mean to but...)

At home, we talk to our cats, Merlin and Merry, and we have this thing (invented by my husband) where when anything goes wrong, we say, "It must be Merlin's fault. POOR MERLIN!!!

Anyways, I think the very fact that we're discussing Kobal means that he's a good (bad) character that needs introduction at the beginning of the movie (IMHO).

If it takes a few scripts to investigate him, then so be it. If it takes a novel, then why not?

We are obviously in tune with the flavor of this script on various levels; so I think it's worth pursuing.

Ok George, we're on to character then... Lots of interesting characters happening in this one for sure!!!

Sandra

Back to the ending...

I was not really let down by the ending itself, but I thought it petered out when Kobal made his little "Oscar" speach. That dialogue came of as something not that bright, funny, witty or anything. After having just read the script, I guess I was just expecting more of a punch there.

Btw, does anyone here remember looooong time ago there was I believe a Tjech TV show with a character in it that looked just like Kobal. Umbrella and bowler and everything. It drives me nuts that I can't remember the name of that show.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Btw, does anyone here remember looooong time ago there was I believe a Tjech TV show with a character in it that looked just like Kobal. Umbrella and bowler and everything. It drives me nuts that I can't remember the name of that show.

I kept thinking of Snidely Whiplash, or more recently, "Bowler Hat Guy" from Meet the Robinsons.

Really, it wasn't this?



or even...



or perhaps...



Or maybe not.

Okay, the funny pictures weren't meant to derail the conversation. Maybe it throws off the image of Kobal that everyone had in mind, and if that's the case, I'm sorry.

Let's consider these characters. The basic issue they all have is that they have no past and no future. Of the three filmmakers, we know who they are right now, but we don't know where they've come from, what they've done before the movie began, before they started shooting this film, what their interests are outside of moviemaking, and what they plan to do once this is experience is over (provided they survive it). Who is Felicity? Granted, she's different and should be revealed slowly within the plot, but she has no real character either. Where did she come from? Where will she go if it works out? Does she have any wishes outside of her mission? How about that villain Kobal? Has he made any movies before? He's the "entertainment director of hell," but does he have any credits? Has he worked with any big names before? Has he been planning this? Did he do anything before he was the entertainment director? How does he feel about the Master Choreographer and the imps? Does he have any opinions about God and Satan (maybe that's a bit too far, but you get the idea)? The other characters (with the exception of the deliberately thin B-movie characters) also need something a bit more, particularly the choreographer and prima donna. Who are they? Where did they come from? Do they have some kind of rank within the structure shared by Kobal? Are they imps? Does Kobal like the imps? Are they a necessary evil or does Kobal find them expendable? How do they feel about that?

There's a limit to how much detail will be in the screenplay, but the writer should know all of this intimately before he writes the story. We should actually know this much about the leads. We should sympathize with their plight and even wish we could do something to help. We have to care, and the way to care is to make them real people. Real people live in the past, present, and future, and constantly reference all three. We know these guys hate each other now, and they won't work together again, but we need more than that. Really, none of the characters exist outside of this framework. They perform the plot within their capacities, but they need more.

Such is my opinion.

I agree George...none of the chacters seem to have any life whatsoever outside of the script.  I also think way too much time is pent on Gee's family in teh end.  They are minor, secondary characters, but tehy take over near teh end when everyone else seems to disappear.

Who or what are Master Choreographer, Prima, and little Rudolf?  Are they evil?  What do they do other than dance?  

Ironically, I think the B-movie characters are the least important when it comes to filling out their characters. The actors are very minor characters and their movie roles don't need to be much more than that either.

Come to think of it, the movie they're making isn't a horror flick at all. It's some kind of teen drama, by what I say. It has a cute little love triangle with perfect kiddies at the beach, and a super sappy ending.

EDIT: It took way too long for this to hit me... The movie is more like and R-rated version of Beach Blanket Bingo and stars Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. Hence the cute kiddies on the perfect beach. Talk about pulling in an old and well-treaded genre of movie. Makes it kind of like a character in and of itself, doesn't it?

I read this about a week ago. The characters that I still remember are Cameron (I liked him), Felicity (would like to know more about her), Kobal (would have liked to know more about him too), Harvey and Howard, but I wished their names had been less similar. It took me a while before I quit getting them mixed up.

Those are the characters I remember the most, so what does that mean? Were they more important to the story or just better developed?

What about the hilarious Master Choreographer, the laugh out loud Prima, and of course, the goofy little Rudolf?  They are my 3 favorite characters for sure.

I don't know what script you were reading, Jeff- but I didn't find them funny at all.  I laughed out loud twice near the end...that's about it.

First impressions for me- mind fuck.  romantic.  erotic.

It was a complicated story for me.  i tried to stay with it...I guess I have a feeble mind.  Not to say I didn't like it.  I might have to think a litl more.

Really?  I'm surprised.  I literally was laughing out loud every time they were onscreen.  I don't know why, but tehy were just so funny to me..the way Prima would copy the Master...the goofy dance steps...and then little Rudolf continually dancing to his own tune.  Whacky, funny stuff for me.