I am working on a scene where a central character is on a phone and I want to write the scene so you don't hear the person on the other end. Only the responses by the central character. I bet there is more than one way to do this. The way I have been doing it feels wrong to me. How do you folks write this? Thanks from Yosemite NP!

I do it with ellipses (...) whenever the character is pretending to hear the other person speak.

                        JOHN
I didn't say that...  That's not what I said....
What did I say...?  I said two large pies with
onions and meatball...  No, you sent me one
large onion and one large meatball.

PETE
Yessa', you did-a!...Yeah-huh!...
You sai' One-a Largia onio' an'
on' largia Mea'baw! Atsa wha' chu'
ask me fo...at'sa wha' chu get!

All three = the way I do it as well. The ellipsises of death. =)

You can always break up the conversation with a little bit of action, so it's not one long block of talk.

John walks up to the kitchen table, where the twin pizza boxes lay.  He holds his phone against his ear.

                       JOHN
     I didn't say that...  That's not what I said....
     What did I say...?  

He flips open the first box. A large pie with onions.

                      JOHN
     I said two large pies with onions and meatball.

He flips open the second.  A large pie with meatballs.

                      JOHN
     No, you sent me one large onion and one large
     meatball.



Phil

Or, of course, the old "(beat)", which although irritating for sure (and space consuming), may look cleaner.

'beats' are more used to show a pause prior to someone talking, rather than giving the pause during dialog.


Phil

I was (am) not aware of that, Phil.  As far as I know, a "beat" is interchangeable with an ellipse.

To me, an ellipse shows a pause in a single person's dialogue, as in...

MaiLai

So...you want the special, or the extra special, tonight?  I give very good extra special.

Quoted from Dreamscale So...you want the special, or the extra special, tonight?  I give very good extra special.

Fu?k the ellipse and beat debate, I want to hear more from Jeffrey.

What's up, Col?  Long time, buddy. You doing OK?  Any new scripts on the horizon?

'Beats' are generally used to show pause before someone speaks.


           DAD
Joey, your dog died.

           JOEY
    (beat)
Sparky died?


NOTE:  No animals were harmed in the making of this post.


Phil