I hope he never sees Stoned Patriots or NiXon will have to explain his mind to us.

Do I have to play Therapist while Bert plays Janitor and find out why people are turning into a bad episode of Harry and The Henderson's?

Nothing like a bunch of morons lacking imagination.  Pathetic.

Psst Hey Greg, that comment can be seen as a personal attack and be against the rules. I know we have a lot of intolerable spam.

To further my earlier spam post (At least I admit when I do things) Harry and The Henderson's and what has been going on are alike in a few different ways.

1. Both are slow and harry.
2. Neither think before they do anything which brings us to chaos.
3. Neither have anything better to do.

Personally if Harry and The Henderson's was an R Rated film he would be shitting all over the place and much like the post that started this... it would stink.

I'm sorry to the writer of this short. We like you here at SS and The Moderators for better writing (Our organization for truth and justice... I made that up but it might catch on) but like always these posts will be deleted and my analysis of a classic TV show will be lost on the world.

Quoted from Joe Allen Barniak nothing like a bunch of pot heads making scripts....pathetic

What the hell is going on here tonight?

Joe -- this is the stupidist post I have ever seen -- rules be damned.

But I'm not gonna delete it because Martin will think it is funny.  He will.

Sorry, Steve.  I'll try my best to resist in the future

Anyway Martin, this was a great teaser to lead into the feature as I believe I've stated before.  The feature is a beauty of a read for anyone who hasn't done so yet.  

Hey look at this.  Open Your Mind is at the top of the shorts and thriller sections!  Don't see that everyday.

Quoted from Joe Allen Barniak nothing like a bunch of pot heads making scripts....pathetic

Hey, thanks for checking out my script and making misinformed assumptions about my character!

Since you kindly offered a constructive critique of my work, I feel obliged to return the favour.

"a bunch of pot heads making scripts"

The above statement is incorrect for two reasons:

Firstly, I wrote this script all by myself. I dunno where you got "bunch" from. Maybe you thought "Prologue" was my co-writer?

Secondly I'm not a pot head, although I'm not sure why that would have any bearing on reviewing a piece of fiction, or even why you'd jump to such a rash assumption. By your logic I'm also a vampire, a hit man, a serial killer, a detective, a ghostly apparition of a dog, and a paedophile as well as a dozen other characters portrayed in my stories. Gee, maybe it's you who should be laying off the whacky baccy.

Anyway, your statement was pretty short so I thought I'd hunt out one of your scripts and provide you with a little more feedback.

I cracked open "Who is Jack Leever" -- that's right, no question mark. Already, you're creating intrigue which is a good sign.

On the first page you provide us with the following warning:

A GREEN background with WHITE letters centers the screen.  The white letters contain the following:
THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA THE FILM ADVERTISED HAS BEEN RATED PG-13 PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED SOME MATERIAL MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 13 FOR INFORMATION ON FILM RATINGS GO TO http://WWW. FILMRATINGS.COM  

I'm really glad you put this up front. There was me thinking I was about to read a screenplay, turns out it's a frickin' movie! That's awesome, but for some reason I couldn't get it to play. Maybe it's my drug-addled brain that prevents me from figuring it out. I decided to read a few pages of your script instead.

My favourite part was this:

"EXT.  DEPECHE MODE CONCERT- DAY                

FLY DOWN FROM A BIRDS EYE VIEW:
A GREEN 1984 TOYOTA CAR drives out of frame."

There's a frickin' Toyota on the stage??? That's one kick-ass concert. Seriously. I can't wait to see how you'll get Depeche Mode to appear in your thirty page short, but I heard you're a director so I'm sure you can make it happen.

Then I saw this:

"PAM is making out with FRAT BOY 1 and walks to his GRAY CAR, it�s apparent they�re going to have sex. DAN is breakdancing with HARVEY and GREGG watching, he gets up and puffs some weed. "

Uh oh... you told me this was PG-13. I dunno if I'm ready for such flagrant sexual references and drug abuse. I'd better stop reading and head over to filmratings.com to file a complaint.

hey excellent stuff.  wonderful to find a reference to trepanning, pretty obscure stuff.  I really enjoyed the prologue but i cant seem to find the full length, but ill keep looking.

since the blowjob seems to be a pivotal issue in your work, my two cents: I would keep it in, just foreshadow a bit with lex's manner of dress/acting that she's the kind of girl that would do those kind of favors for an employer.  I like how it keeps the reader/watcher off kilter in the beginning, plus it adds depth to a girl who can go from that to prepping for a surgery a few minutes later.  

Anyways, loved the idea, hopefully ill find the full length and check it out.

Wow, it’s weird reading a review I posted so long ago.

Quoted from jackx …loved the idea, hopefully ill find the full length and check it out.

You won’t find it here right now. It’s been removed by the author. I don’t believe there are any features from this author here right now. There may still be some shorts. I highly recommend reading them. Martin Lancaster is one of the best.

I recommend The Universe Explained? if you can find it.


Breanne