Hey Guys,

Reading both of them, but I figured I'd post everything in here since the 12 pages of part one go right into this and it's pretty much one story.  Speaking of that, is there a plan to combine the two and make a 60 pager?  The first one ends at kind of an awkward place in terms of a series.

I really liked the dollar and hundred dollar bill part, as well as them fighting over the Cambodian Red.

I agree on the Ecstasy at Woodstock thing.  It should definitely be LSD.  I wouldn't mind someone running around yelling "Stay away from the brown acid!" either.

How do they know who Jerry Garcia is?

Darth Devil - hahaha

A ha, we're starting to get into the villain are now.

Ok, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were alright, but Michael Jackson?

I'm laughing at these bit chracter names.  Black, White, Tall, Fat, Bum.  Bum?  Hey!  Waitaminute!  

A Little side note regarding the air duct escape.  If you check out John August's webpage, he has an entire spiel of why he hates that means of escape/spying, etc.  Pretty funny stuff.

Is Changang supposed to be Chaingang?  They're all spelled the first way, but I'm just curious.

And, I'm done.  I definitely like the way the story is flowing.  You've got a nice mix of action comedy, and even a little bit of horror in there, but again, this is definitely left open for another part, and has me thinking that this would be better suited as a feature with all of the pieces combined into one.

I can see why you've gotten some Team America references, but I think this is different enough.

Nice work, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Anyway thanks for the review man, like NiXon said in the other thread did you have anything for us to read? It was for the review exchange and I do have some extra free time.

anything in my sig would be fine, I think underneath is the one I would like the most help on, but whatever you decide is fine with me

NiXon,

I think the title is about as good as a title can get, I love it. I love the whole concept of meshing the Forefathers and modern day dilemmas and lifestyles.

How do you come up with crazy stuff like this?........... Okay, maybe that was a dumb question. Disregard please.

Your writing reminds me quite a bit of Wesley's craziness. (Have you read The Juicer?) Maybe that�s why your collaboration on SP:2 worked so well. You two should do a third installment.

I liked the $ bill thing, maybe you could expand that to include the others. I have no doubt that you could come up with some crazy conversation about their different denominations.

Pg 5,  His cloths colorful - I think you meant clothes
Pg 6,  help this people - these people
Pg 10, they wonder what the Dodge is and call it a horseless carriage. This seemed a little odd to me since they've already seen the police cruisers and a helicopter even.

All in all, this was a very cool little short.
I really would like to see a third one.

I feel really cheap for telling you I'd review it. I never did post the review I guess. Sorry if this isn't as long as you'd hoped for, but here it goes.

Script- The script was written well, the formatting was spot-on, almost perfect in my eyes. It wasn't too long, and wasn't to short for a short script.

Characters- The title says all. Stoned Patriots. I can't count how many times I laughed while reading this viciously funny script. Your characters were so real, or at least they felt that way. Their dialogue was so clueless. I liked that.

Visual- I saw every event take place. That earns a high score with me.

Story- The story is the core to a script, and your story was just as great. You really followed up your first one with a big bang, and when I say big... I mean BIG

Good job, and I'm hoping that you write more comedies in the future.

-James

5/5

Thanks for the review Pia, it's really appreciated.

Quoted from tomson Your writing reminds me quite a bit of Wesley's craziness. (Have you read The Juicer?)

Not yet, is it even up on the site yet?

Quoted from tomson I really would like to see a third one.

I've written down a few ideas for the third (and final) installment. Wesley has also chimed in with a few ideas. There's no doubt that it will eventually be made and chances are it will be a feature.

Once again, thanks for the review. Those mistakes you mentioned will be corrected during the next revision, which will also combine the original short and the sequel into one screenplay.

-Zavier  

EDIT:

Quoted from James Fields I feel really cheap for telling you I'd review it. I never did post the review I guess. Sorry if this isn't as long as you'd hoped for, but here it goes.

No worries, your review is appreciated.

-Zavier

This was a weird script, Almost like Bill and Ted's excelent adventures. Stoner forfathers? What will they think of next. lol

Good format, and good use of character. This one was good. I laughed my ass off.

The whole charger thing was messed up, I like the part when he released the parking brake. Nice one

Dan

Sorry Mike for the delayed response, the other thread got locked and buried.

Quoted from Shelton Speaking of that, is there a plan to combine the two and make a 60 pager?  The first one ends at kind of an awkward place in terms of a series.

Yeah, the revision will have both stories combined and a new scene connecting them together. After the merge, there will no longer just an original or just an American Haze, so we've decided to title it "Stoned Patriots: Redux".

Quoted from Shelton Is Changang supposed to be Chaingang?  They're all spelled the first way, but I'm just curious.

Changang is the name of a North Korean Genreral in real-life, I just decided to use his name since it sounded so badass.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed them and thanks for the review.

Quoted from Daniel_Robinson Stoner forfathers? What will they think of next.

Next? Teenage Superheroes, who have the ability to shit out rivers of skittles. Anyway, thanks for the read, glad you enjoyed it.

-Zavier

Carried to new thread:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1153790943/