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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  By A Girl Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 5th, 2006, 7:13pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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By a Girl by Malik Ming - Short, Comedy, Satire - After being raped by a girl, Simon Flint seeks revenge. 24 pages - pdf, format


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rpedro
Posted: September 6th, 2006, 4:15am Report to Moderator
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okay,

first about your writing : it's good, clear and very easy to read!

this was really funnystory!

24 pages but it really got me going the whole time!!!!

Great stuff!

and very funny!

but there is one minus point : the end! I think it should be longer than just the "nooooo". You should add something more!  

At least this is what I think!

Great work mate! LOVE IT!!!


Scripts :
- Hot Road (short)
- The Mirror (short)
- Listen Up (short)
- Dawn (short)
- One Day (short)
- Steal (short)

Pedro Chaves
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Alex J. Cooper
Posted: September 7th, 2006, 3:15am Report to Moderator
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Never read 24 four pages so quickly, that certainly was a pretty funny read, especially for the unexpected reactions from friends and family.

But the ending was a bit obvious.


Shorts:
I Named Him Thor
Footloose, Cut Loose
Tainted Milk
Marshmallows
Confucius & The Quest For Nessie
Wondrous Presentation
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A Beaumont
Posted: September 14th, 2006, 3:10pm Report to Moderator
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Loved it. Especially the dad pulling a gun on simon. made me chuckle a lot.
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theprodigalson
Posted: September 15th, 2006, 1:34pm Report to Moderator
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Pro's

Good writing
Funny Premise
very different from the rest.


Con's
Not really funny
one continuous running gag that got predictable and stale
No need to really add in the Kill Bill fight, since this isn't ment to be a spoof like film...was it?


Verdict: did not like it. I'm sure if you keep tweaking it, it could get better though.
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MikeCashman
Posted: May 22nd, 2020, 2:12pm Report to Moderator
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Ok.  I read the 24 page script and it did keep my interest.  The ending was a little lost, for me.  The one scene where I actually busted out laughing was when Simon's Grandmother chucked his ass out the front door of her home.  I actually vision that happening.  

The concept alone, a girl raping a guy, makes me laugh as well.  What guy wouldn't want a girl to "rape" him?  

As I stated, the ending has me confused.  Why?  Because she was a young girl that supposedly raped him?  Or the fact that she is a dwarf and he isn't man enough to stop her, if he was actually being raped.  My thoughts are lost on the ending.  Maybe clarify this for me.

Otherwise, not bad.  I enjoyed it.
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