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Happiness is as simple as a phone call... (currently 2352 views) |
Don |
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 8:42pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16463 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Don - December 3rd, 2006, 5:30pm | | |
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Shelton |
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 8:59pm |
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Of The Ancients
LocationChicago Posts3292 Posts Per Day 0.48 |
Hey Michel,
Pretty funny joke you have here. I say joke because that's pretty much what I picture this as. Just a quick filmed gag that you'd find on a website somewhere.
Anyway, I chuckled. |
| Shelton's IMDb Profile
"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin |
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Reply: 1 - 17 |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 9:09pm |
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Old Timer
LocationColorado Posts1547 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
Haha this was hilarious! I didn't expect the ending to come out like that! I loved it and I would like to see this filmed or something. Great job!
Sean |
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Reply: 2 - 17 |
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rpedro |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 2:21am |
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LocationBelgium Posts84 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
I love the end Michel! GREAT STUFF! |
| Scripts : - Hot Road (short) - The Mirror (short) - Listen Up (short) - Dawn (short) - One Day (short) - Steal (short)
Pedro Chaves
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Reply: 3 - 17 |
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michel |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 7:17am |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
I must admit I did this one just for fun. Glad you liked it. Michel |
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Reply: 4 - 17 |
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Alex J. Cooper |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 7:29am |
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LocationAustralia Posts316 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Funny short. |
| Shorts: I Named Him Thor Footloose, Cut Loose Tainted Milk Marshmallows Confucius & The Quest For Nessie Wondrous Presentation |
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Reply: 5 - 17 |
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chism |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 7:43am |
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Posts1053 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
This I thought was a good one. Pretty funny in the end, kind of a cooky twist. I thought this was gonna be really bad, honestly. things of this length are rarely good but I ended up enjoying it quite a bit.
And incidentally, I don't think it's a good thing for that woman to be talking about pearl necklaces so suggestively. I assume she was talking about an actual pearl necklace and not the other kind, because that is just....
I don't know where I'm going with this. Anyway, the length was good, had enough to keep me interested for the full minute it took me to read it so kudos to you.
Cheers, Chism. |
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Reply: 6 - 17 |
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Vaughn |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 8:18am |
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LocationEngland Posts38 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Or is it just a complete copy of this joke - A man in a gym locker picks up a cellphone. "Hi Honey', the female voice says "Remember that furcoat, oh can I have it pleaaaazzzze ?" Sure, the guy replies. "And what about this Mercedes SLK I saw recently?", she asks. No problem, he says. "Can I call the constructors to build that swimming pool then?", she asks. Off course, the man replies. She hangs up ecstactically:"Thank you honey, I love you !" The man looks around and asks: "Whose phone is this ?" Or this - http://fmaccounting.com/humours/ |
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Reply: 7 - 17 |
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acorristine |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 8:32am |
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yeh have to say not very original, would be better told at a party. and too many typos!
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Reply: 8 - 17 |
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Alex J. Cooper |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 8:35am |
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LocationAustralia Posts316 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
So it's an adaption.... |
| Shorts: I Named Him Thor Footloose, Cut Loose Tainted Milk Marshmallows Confucius & The Quest For Nessie Wondrous Presentation |
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Reply: 9 - 17 |
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dogglebe |
Posted: September 26th, 2006, 4:10pm |
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Guest User
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It was an old joke, but it was told pretty well.
I want to make a suggestion in how you introduce characters, Michel. In this script, you introduce Chet as:
Among them, a well-built and alluring man opens his locker. He is in his mid-thirties, tanned skinn. He is CHET
you may want to introduce characters more like this:
CHET (30) opens his locker. He's an alluring and well-built man.
It's a little easier to identify a character when you start with his name.
My two cents.
Phil |
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alffy |
Posted: September 28th, 2006, 7:39am |
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Old Timer
LocationThe bleak North East, England Posts2187 Posts Per Day 0.33 |
Hey Michel, i've read a couple of your shorts before so I gave it a read. Like many people have commented, its more of a joke than a story but it is funny. It would work great in a sketch show or something similar, we have plenty of humour like this on British sketchshows and it wouldn't look out of place. |
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Reply: 11 - 17 |
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michel |
Posted: October 10th, 2006, 9:41am |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Exactly! Thanks to everyone for your comments. BTW, it maybe could become a produced short. People asked me to shoot it. Wait and see... Michel |
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Reply: 12 - 17 |
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Parker |
Posted: October 10th, 2006, 1:03pm |
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New Yes
LocationEngland Posts278 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
Niiice. That was pretty cool Michel. I've never heard of that joke... I don't think.. so that was funny and new to me. Well told. |
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Reply: 13 - 17 |
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michel |
Posted: October 11th, 2006, 1:12am |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Thank you Parkster. I fancied it too. By the way, what's about your next script? Michel |
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